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"Expecting Snow.....Move The Car!".....
(Preview)
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."... Bob's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eat...
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Possum3
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1
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941
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The Queen and Dolly
(Preview)
Stolen from another site but funny.Queen Elizabeth And Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before St Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St Peter must decide which of them gets in.St Peter asks Dolly if there's some par...
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hokianga
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1
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862
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Broadband.
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American...
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Possum3
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0
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995
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Organic vegetables.
(Preview)
Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy Organic Vegetables from the produce market." said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man, asked.... "Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any Poison...
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Possum3
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0
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1033
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Put A Smile On Your Dial
(Preview)
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Yarra
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1
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1551
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Slightly naughty
(Preview)
The following should be sung to a popular Dean Martin song. "When you swim round a rock and and an eel bites your c--k, thats a Moray.
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Magnarc
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0
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1094
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case dismissed
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he...
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Pete49
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0
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953
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An engineer dies and is sent to hell
(Preview)
He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it.Things cool down quickly.The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily.The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satelli...
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Yarra
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0
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880
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Woman golfers
(Preview)
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning...The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a pair of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the gro...
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Yarra
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1
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1022
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Save $1000
(Preview)
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcom...
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Yarra
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1
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1124
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New Christmas tree this year
(Preview)
Just bought my Christmas Tree from the market and the man said if I kept it healthy by giving it plenty of light and water he would even come and take it away for me come February! What a great deal and nice young man he was!! K.J.
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kiwijims
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2
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1061
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Two irishman
(Preview)
Two irishman decided they would go cut their own Christmas tree...they walked for miles...up and down hills...looking for the perfect tree...finally one turned to the other and said...."We're cutting the next tree we find....whether it has lights or not"..
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Yendorane
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0
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1030
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Forward and Backward
(Preview)
Girl: Ah, finally. This is the moment!Boy: Will you leave me?Girl: Nah!Boy: Do you love me?Girl: Yes, a lot!Boy: Have you ever cheated on me?Girl: No, why are you asking this?Boy: Will you kiss me?Girl: Every time i get the chance!Boy:Will you ever hit me?Girl: Are you crazy?! Of course not!Boy: Can i...
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Yarra
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0
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1059
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snow dropper.
(Preview)
I'm not saying my lady friend is large but the other morning we realized somebody had pinched her undies from the line. That didn't really upset me as much as > > > > > > > the fact he took the sixteen pegs as well.
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Stl
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1
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1428
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I just couldn't help myself
(Preview)
After Quasimodo's death, the Archbishop of Paris at the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Archbishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin what he thought would be a long screeni...
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Moorey
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3
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1246
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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand
(Preview)
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1347
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Santa's been busy this year.........
(Preview)
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kiwijims
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5
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1193
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Probably takes the best email prize for 2016
(Preview)
Buttock Tattoo Terror LandsHull Pair in HospitalA furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time plus size model Tracey Munter (...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1384
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This is good
(Preview)
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.Shocked, she asked, 'What in the world are you doing?'The daughter replied, 'Mum, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and th...
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rgren2
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0
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1112
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The neighbour
(Preview)
About a week ago I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night (as I often do) and I noticed a person who was wearing a mask with a knife in hand, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from behind and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instant...
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rgren2
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0
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919
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