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When you're over 60
(Preview)
When you're over sixty...Who cares?*****************************I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.?I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."Cost me a...
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rgren2
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0
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1119
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Olympic Balls up
(Preview)
----------------------------------------Subject: Olympic BallsHere are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during theOlympics that they would like to take back:1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw hersnatch this morning during her warm up...
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Woody2
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0
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895
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This is alarming !
(Preview)
This is alarming! Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Monash University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The th...
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Woody2
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0
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804
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Wrong bed
(Preview)
As I was getting in bed, she said, "youre drunk"I said, "How do you know?" She said, "You live next door."
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Woody2
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0
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881
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Nude runner
(Preview)
*Nude Runner*A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainyday she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard herhusband's car pull into the driveway.'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband'shome early!''I can't jump out...
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Woody2
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0
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819
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Cool headed woman!!!!
(Preview)
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a walking stick against a fierce predator. Here is her story in her own words: "While out walking along the edge of a creek just outside of our house in Darwin, with my soon to be ex-husband discussing our property set...
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Woody2
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0
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748
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The Spell Chequer
(Preview)
The Spell Checker. Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came withmy pea sea. It planely marques four my revue. Miss steaks eyekin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word. And weight fourit two say. Weather eye am wrong oar write. It shows me straita weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid. It nose bee fore twolo...
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1042
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Has R rated language
(Preview)
-- Edited by Woody2 on Saturday 10th of September 2016 07:25:17 PM -- Edited by Woody2 on Saturday 10th of September 2016 07:28:08 PM
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Woody2
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0
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750
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Doctor doctor...........
(Preview)
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad , what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it d...
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Magnarc
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0
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870
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Do NOT touch!
(Preview)
'Do not touch.' Must be one of the scariest things to read in braille!
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Cadpete
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1
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1029
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Two little old ladies
(Preview)
Two little old ladies, Connie and Evelyn, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.The short one, Connie, leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore.For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flo...
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Yarra
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0
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906
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Why Hearing Clarity Is Important
(Preview)
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Moorey
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2
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1012
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This may have been on before but I think it's a classic
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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4
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972
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Fatal wing suit flight in Rio
(Preview)
Ya never know when your time is up !!! http://safeshare.tv/w/kLlmcNCGBk K.J.
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kiwijims
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3
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1234
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Trump
(Preview)
Donald Trump became US President and went on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he was on a tour of Jerusalem he suffered a heart attack and died. The undertaker then told the American Diplomats who were accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Ho...
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Hendo
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1
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1184
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Ten dollars is ten dollars
(Preview)
George and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year George would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know George, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year George and Martha went to the...
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Yarra
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0
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905
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Blonde convention
(Preview)
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.The leader asks her, "What is...
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Yarra
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0
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901
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Mum's Driving Liscence
(Preview)
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. 'Mummy', the little girl asks, 'how old are you?''Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age', the mother replied. 'It's not polite'.'OK', the little girl says, 'What colour was your hair 2 years ago?''Now really', the mo...
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Moorey
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0
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935
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Groaners
(Preview)
TEN PUNS TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY1. Two vultures board an air plane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."2. Two boll weevils grew up in the deep South. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. Th...
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Yarra
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0
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1035
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Musings
(Preview)
1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!2. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.3. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.4. Last year I joined a...
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rgren2
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0
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1040
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