|
Made me smile again
(Preview)
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after noticing that there is no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the man sitti...
|
Young Simmo
|
2
|
1104
|
|
|
|
Chinese Travel Agent
(Preview)
There was this Chinese girl at a travel agency when I was in Shanghai , I asked her if she could escort me for a city tour and asked for her mobile number, so I could call her to make arrangements.She got excited and said: "sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonigh"Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese...
|
Ole Grizzly
|
2
|
870
|
|
|
|
An Irishman walks into a job interview
(Preview)
A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.""Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy."And proceeds to draw three trees."...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
949
|
|
|
|
Should I join Facebook
(Preview)
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand ki...
|
Bushpie
|
3
|
1492
|
|
|
|
Made me smile
(Preview)
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marvelling at the different sights. Eventually they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apar...
|
Young Simmo
|
0
|
627
|
|
|
|
An unusual family tradition
(Preview)
This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson motorbike. One day he has finally saved enough to buy one so he goes down to the dealer to by one . After he picks his dream bike the dealer tells him of an old biker trick that will keep the Chrome on him bike rust free . The dealer tells him all he has to do...
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
972
|
|
|
|
I hope this is not out of bounds
(Preview)
There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over except his 'thing.' So, he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried in the sand, exc...
|
Young Simmo
|
1
|
1099
|
|
|
|
Oldies and strokes.
(Preview)
Three little old lady's waiting at the bus shelter. Along comes a man wearing a rain coat, he flings it open exposing himself. The nearest lady she has a stroke, The next lady, she has a stroke to, Be dammed the last lady just couldn't reach! Like that heh Simmo?
|
iana
|
1
|
875
|
|
|
|
Because I am a man....
(Preview)
(A community service announcement to help women better understand men) Because I'm a man - when I lock my keys in the car, I will continue to fiddle with a coat hanger until long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the RACV is not an option. I will win. Because I'm a man - I can be relied upon to purchase...
|
June
|
1
|
948
|
|
|
|
Be careful
(Preview)
If anybody is wondering where my post in the jokes section, "Who can you trust" has gone, well the 2%ers told the Moderators it was Racist and to take it down which they did. The interesting thing is, it wasn't Racist when I put it up, it suddenly became racist after 3 days and 20 plus comments...
|
Young Simmo
|
16
|
1322
|
|
|
|
Be Carefull
(Preview)
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so...
|
Young Simmo
|
0
|
1049
|
|
|
|
Think Old
(Preview)
|
Wombat 280
|
3
|
1201
|
|
|
|
10 husbands, still a virgin.
(Preview)
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin.""What?" said the puzzled groom."How can that be if you've been married ten times?""Well, Husband #1 w...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
932
|
|
|
|
Here I go again
(Preview)
Three Aussie guys, Shane, Ricky and Jeff, were working on a high-rise building project in Wagga Wagga. Unfortunately, Shane falls off the scaffolding and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ricky says, 'Someone should go and tell his wife.' Jeff says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at t...
|
Young Simmo
|
5
|
1198
|
|
|
|
TO BUMS
(Preview)
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, ...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
1023
|
|
|
|
Three little ducks
(Preview)
Three little ducks go into a Bar...... "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck. "Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" sa...
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
889
|
|
|
|
Murphy's at it again.
(Preview)
A coloured guy and Murphy go into a pastry shop. The black guy whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't even notice. The black guy says to Murphy, "You see how clever we are? You Paddies can never beat that!" Murphy says to the black guy, "Watch dis,...
|
Baggie
|
0
|
810
|
|
|
|
You win some & you loose some.
(Preview)
A guy at a bar was just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy...
|
Young Simmo
|
0
|
866
|
|
|
|
Do I satisfy you in bed
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
719
|
|
|
|
A girl came skipping home from school one day
(Preview)
"Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10! See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!""Very good." said her mother."Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"Yes, it's because you're blonde.&q...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
884
|
|
|