|
Slightly naughty
(Preview)
The following should be sung to a popular Dean Martin song. "When you swim round a rock and and an eel bites your c--k, thats a Moray.
|
Magnarc
|
0
|
1094
|
|
|
|
|
case dismissed
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he...
|
Pete49
|
0
|
953
|
|
|
|
|
An engineer dies and is sent to hell
(Preview)
He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it.Things cool down quickly.The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily.The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satelli...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
879
|
|
|
|
|
Woman golfers
(Preview)
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning...The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a pair of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the gro...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
1021
|
|
|
|
|
Save $1000
(Preview)
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcom...
|
Yarra
|
1
|
1123
|
|
|
|
|
New Christmas tree this year
(Preview)
Just bought my Christmas Tree from the market and the man said if I kept it healthy by giving it plenty of light and water he would even come and take it away for me come February! What a great deal and nice young man he was!! K.J.
|
kiwijims
|
2
|
1060
|
|
|
|
|
Two irishman
(Preview)
Two irishman decided they would go cut their own Christmas tree...they walked for miles...up and down hills...looking for the perfect tree...finally one turned to the other and said...."We're cutting the next tree we find....whether it has lights or not"..
|
Yendorane
|
0
|
1029
|
|
|
|
|
Forward and Backward
(Preview)
Girl: Ah, finally. This is the moment!Boy: Will you leave me?Girl: Nah!Boy: Do you love me?Girl: Yes, a lot!Boy: Have you ever cheated on me?Girl: No, why are you asking this?Boy: Will you kiss me?Girl: Every time i get the chance!Boy:Will you ever hit me?Girl: Are you crazy?! Of course not!Boy: Can i...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1059
|
|
|
|
|
snow dropper.
(Preview)
I'm not saying my lady friend is large but the other morning we realized somebody had pinched her undies from the line. That didn't really upset me as much as > > > > > > > the fact he took the sixteen pegs as well.
|
Stl
|
1
|
1427
|
|
|
|
|
I just couldn't help myself
(Preview)
After Quasimodo's death, the Archbishop of Paris at the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Archbishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin what he thought would be a long screeni...
|
Moorey
|
3
|
1246
|
|
|
|
|
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand
(Preview)
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1347
|
|
|
|
|
Santa's been busy this year.........
(Preview)
|
kiwijims
|
5
|
1192
|
|
|
|
|
Probably takes the best email prize for 2016
(Preview)
Buttock Tattoo Terror LandsHull Pair in HospitalA furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time plus size model Tracey Munter (...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1382
|
|
|
|
|
This is good
(Preview)
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.Shocked, she asked, 'What in the world are you doing?'The daughter replied, 'Mum, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and th...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
1112
|
|
|
|
|
The neighbour
(Preview)
About a week ago I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night (as I often do) and I noticed a person who was wearing a mask with a knife in hand, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from behind and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instant...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
919
|
|
|
|
|
MALE LOGIC
(Preview)
Male logic... flawless This a conversation between a man and a woman. Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about three Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man:...
|
Moorey
|
3
|
1578
|
|
|
|
|
Throne of Heaven
(Preview)
Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing before the Throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says," before granting you a place at my side,I must as you what you have learned and what you believe in." God asks Obama first, "what do you believe?"Obama looks God in the eye and replies, "I believe in hard work a...
|
Yarra
|
2
|
1316
|
|
|
|
|
Cooking Instructions...
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
0
|
1059
|
|
|
|
|
Things to think about while waiting for your wife
(Preview)
When they get married, the woman is thinking that from now on they can go on dates all the time. The man is thinking the exact opposite. It's difficult for me to anticipate what women are going to do or say because I find they think differentlly. And more often. As she gets older, your wife may start losi...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
952
|
|
|
|
|
At Church
(Preview)
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she tu...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1003
|
|
|
