|
Santa's been busy this year.........
(Preview)
|
kiwijims
|
5
|
1186
|
|
|
|
|
Probably takes the best email prize for 2016
(Preview)
Buttock Tattoo Terror LandsHull Pair in HospitalA furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time plus size model Tracey Munter (...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1376
|
|
|
|
|
This is good
(Preview)
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.Shocked, she asked, 'What in the world are you doing?'The daughter replied, 'Mum, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and th...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
1107
|
|
|
|
|
The neighbour
(Preview)
About a week ago I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night (as I often do) and I noticed a person who was wearing a mask with a knife in hand, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from behind and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instant...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
914
|
|
|
|
|
MALE LOGIC
(Preview)
Male logic... flawless This a conversation between a man and a woman. Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about three Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man:...
|
Moorey
|
3
|
1574
|
|
|
|
|
Throne of Heaven
(Preview)
Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing before the Throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says," before granting you a place at my side,I must as you what you have learned and what you believe in." God asks Obama first, "what do you believe?"Obama looks God in the eye and replies, "I believe in hard work a...
|
Yarra
|
2
|
1312
|
|
|
|
|
Cooking Instructions...
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
0
|
1052
|
|
|
|
|
Things to think about while waiting for your wife
(Preview)
When they get married, the woman is thinking that from now on they can go on dates all the time. The man is thinking the exact opposite. It's difficult for me to anticipate what women are going to do or say because I find they think differentlly. And more often. As she gets older, your wife may start losi...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
948
|
|
|
|
|
At Church
(Preview)
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she tu...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
999
|
|
|
|
|
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
(Preview)
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.Defense A...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
Stole another one.
(Preview)
A married old man thought he would give his wife a Christmas surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him. "What colour?" they asked. He settled for white. "How much does it cost?" he asked. "Twenty-four dollars."... "Expensi...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1019
|
|
|
|
|
Big People Words
(Preview)
A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you we...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
963
|
|
|
|
|
Lizards
(Preview)
I had to take my sons lizard to the vet. Heres what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. Hes just lying there looking sick, he told me. Im serious, Dad. Can you help? I put my best lizard-healer exp...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1041
|
|
|
|
|
Purina
(Preview)
I was at Coles Supermarket buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, beca...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
974
|
|
|
|
|
Al Bran
(Preview)
. The couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise over the pas...
|
Woody2
|
1
|
955
|
|
|
|
|
Nude Runner
(Preview)
*Nude Runner*A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainyday she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard herhusband's car pull into the driveway.'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband'shome early!''I can't jump out...
|
Woody2
|
1
|
1089
|
|
|
|
|
Bitches 'til the end
(Preview)
Bitches 'til the End! The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news.You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order..'The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into thewaiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well, daught...
|
Woody2
|
0
|
1035
|
|
|
|
|
Baby at 65
(Preview)
Childbirth at 65 ( Too good not to pass on.Enjoy! ) With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked. 'Not yet,' she said. '...
|
grahos
|
0
|
1038
|
|
|
|
|
Self Defence Advice
(Preview)
Its a woody special Moorey
|
Moorey
|
4
|
1217
|
|
|
|
|
The wrong record....
(Preview)
The worlds leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop. He asks the assistant, Do you have European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.Certainly, replies the assistant. Would you like to listen before you buy it?That would be wonderful, says the expert,...
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
965
|
|
|
