Just Joking

Yarra · Yarra

Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...

Spydermann · Spydermann

Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...

Yendorane · Yendorane

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, &...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Dad and Dave was a bit of a skit on the radio back in the 1940s & 50s. It used to be on most evenings, and was about the life and adventures of a Victorian outback farmer and his son. Dave started out as a little boy, and grew into a big boy, and when he was about 18 he married Mable. The story goes like this. J...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that m...

Possum3 · Possum3

http://www.unsealed4x4.com.au/issue015/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=10+Things+I+Learned+Crossing+The+Madigan+Line&utm_campaign=Unsealed+Issue+015+-+Send+003#181

June · June

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're a...

Yarra · Yarra

A successful farmer died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, butknew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad in thenewspaper for a farm hand. Two farm hands applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk....

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Hendo · Hendo

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about the request and decided to talk to her about it. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?" Maria replied " Well Senora, there are three reasons why a wanna increase, the first is that I iron...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM

pidge · pidge

Urgently required. Care taker for Flaggy Rock Community Centre Qld. Duties include ground keeping building and amenities cleaning, swimming pool maintenance and management of overnight self contained caravans. Pensioners and self funded people would be ideal. Own caravan is a must. First aid...

Hendo · Hendo

At breakfast, the wife says to her husband "What would you do if I won Lotto?" "I'd take half and leave you" he replied. "Great" she says. "Here's $6, I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch".

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.... The blonde came to the door an...

dING · dING

The golfer and the Leprechaun A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods. Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his head and golf ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer gets his water bottle from the cart and pours it over the little guy, reviving hi...

Magnarc · Magnarc

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied... 'Well, strip d...

nimrod · nimrod

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and s...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A Glasgow couple are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll try being a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do so the husband says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a bloke. Tell him you charge a hundred pounds......any questions and I'll be parked around the corner".. Sh...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A Muslim gentleman was sitting next to Paddy on an International Flight. Paddy ordered a single malt whiskey. The Stewardess asked the Muslim gentleman if he'd also like a drink? He replied in utter disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than ever let liquor touch my lips. Paddy promptl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Barter System (Preview) Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...	Yarra	1	1018	05:38 AM Sep 28, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Did I read it right (Preview) Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...	Spydermann	0	1220	11:38 AM Sep 17, 2015 by Spydermann
	A few quickies by a 75 year old, sorry I meant 7.5 years. (Preview) You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...	Young Simmo	0	997	11:53 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Young Simmo
	DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER (Preview) 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, &...	Yendorane	0	841	05:06 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Yendorane
	Dad and Dave (Preview) Dad and Dave was a bit of a skit on the radio back in the 1940s & 50s. It used to be on most evenings, and was about the life and adventures of a Victorian outback farmer and his son. Dave started out as a little boy, and grew into a big boy, and when he was about 18 he married Mable. The story goes like this. J...	Young Simmo	0	1053	11:02 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Young Simmo
	A conversation in HEAVEN (Preview) SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that m...	Young Simmo	0	822	10:58 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Russel Coit (Preview) http://www.unsealed4x4.com.au/issue015/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=10+Things+I+Learned+Crossing+The+Madigan+Line&utm_campaign=Unsealed+Issue+015+-+Send+003#181	Possum3	0	1002	05:52 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Possum3
	Drafting Guys Over 60........ (Preview) I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're a...	June	2	1104	12:30 PM Sep 16, 2015 by aussie_paul
	The Gay Farm Hand (Preview) A successful farmer died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, butknew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad in thenewspaper for a farm hand. Two farm hands applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk....	Yarra	2	1675	08:33 AM Sep 15, 2015 by Ondabeach
	This trike runs on natural gas (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	739	10:31 PM Sep 13, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Mexican Maid (Preview) The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about the request and decided to talk to her about it. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?" Maria replied " Well Senora, there are three reasons why a wanna increase, the first is that I iron...	Hendo	0	823	09:37 AM Sep 13, 2015 by Hendo
	I guess this says it .. Bad moon rising .. Aha (Preview) Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM	Aus-Kiwi	1	857	06:36 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Gunsondeck
	caretaker position (Preview) Urgently required. Care taker for Flaggy Rock Community Centre Qld. Duties include ground keeping building and amenities cleaning, swimming pool maintenance and management of overnight self contained caravans. Pensioners and self funded people would be ideal. Own caravan is a must. First aid...	pidge	4	1046	09:02 PM Sep 13, 2015 by grahos
	JOW - Lotto (Preview) At breakfast, the wife says to her husband "What would you do if I won Lotto?" "I'd take half and leave you" he replied. "Great" she says. "Here's $6, I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch".	Hendo	4	1397	06:17 PM Sep 8, 2015 by Felicia
	Blonde (Preview) A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.... The blonde came to the door an...	Possum3	0	850	09:29 AM Sep 7, 2015 by Possum3
	The golfer and the Leprechaun (Preview) The golfer and the Leprechaun A golfer in Ireland hooks his drive into the woods. Searching for his ball, he finds a little Leprechaun lying flat on his back, a bump on his head and golf ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer gets his water bottle from the cart and pours it over the little guy, reviving hi...	dING	0	861	06:19 PM Sep 5, 2015 by dING
	Never assume anything....... (Preview) A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied... 'Well, strip d...	Magnarc	0	1024	08:18 AM Sep 4, 2015 by Magnarc
	Hillbilly First Aid (Preview) Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and s...	nimrod	0	746	01:17 AM Sep 4, 2015 by nimrod
	The Glasgow Hooker..... a tad off colour... (Preview) A Glasgow couple are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll try being a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do so the husband says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a bloke. Tell him you charge a hundred pounds......any questions and I'll be parked around the corner".. Sh...	Goldfinger	0	878	11:06 PM Sep 3, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Paddy.... (Preview) A Muslim gentleman was sitting next to Paddy on an International Flight. Paddy ordered a single malt whiskey. The Stewardess asked the Muslim gentleman if he'd also like a drink? He replied in utter disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than ever let liquor touch my lips. Paddy promptl...	Goldfinger	1	839	07:00 PM Sep 4, 2015 by Blues Man
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