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Left or Right
(Preview)
A man and his wife are sitting by the fire when an announcement comes up on the television. Were expecting a lot of snow tonight, folks, the presenter says. Please make sure youre parked on the even-numbered side of the road so we can plough. The man goes out to move the car. The next day, the same thing hap...
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Possum3
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0
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1039
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Have A Good Trip
(Preview)
JET FUEL Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers At Pert Airport. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hanger with nothing to do. Dave said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Peter said, "Me too, Y'know, I've heard you can dr...
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Bushpie
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0
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865
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Used washer and dryer for sale please make an offer $
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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2
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1027
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Possibly some truth in this...
(Preview)
Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Cooktown. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents!They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me p...
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aussie_paul
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0
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760
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Dentist Visit
(Preview)
A man goes to the dentist for a check-up and requires a tooth removal. He tells the dentist he's scared of needles and can't take the gas due to allergies. The dentist offers him two small pills. "What are these?" he asks The dentist replies "Viagra" "Will that help with the pain" he asks. "No" replied th...
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mustangdude
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0
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927
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Confucius did not say....
(Preview)
Confucius Did Not Say.....Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.Man who runs in fr...
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hako
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2
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851
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Oops...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1117
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The Cowboy
(Preview)
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you e...
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RustyD
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0
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901
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sex change
(Preview)
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JayDee
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0
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1104
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City lawyer..
(Preview)
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmers field on the other side of a fence.As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, I shot a duck and it fell i...
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aussie_paul
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0
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991
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Dying priest
(Preview)
An old priest lay dying in Woden's, Canberra Hospital. He had served the people near the nation's capital, at Manuka for many years.He motioned for the nurse to come near."Yes father?" said the nurse."I would really like to see Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten before I die" whispered the priest....
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oldbloke
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2
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1070
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Lamborghini
(Preview)
My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamboghini, I said , " wow , that's an amazing car "! He replied , " If you work hard, put all your hours in and strive for exellence, I'll get another one next year " Cheers
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Recoup
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1
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1040
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Fast Food
(Preview)
Went into Mc Donalds and got a big Mac served by a lady wearing a black Burqua, Went to Charlies Chicken and got a box of Nuggets served by a lady wearing a black Burqua, Went to Hungry Jacks and got a Whopper served by a lady wearing a multi -coloured Burqua with flowers all over it. I asked the lady at Hun...
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Possum3
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1
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984
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Chick with big knockers
(Preview)
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RustyD
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0
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946
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A good reason not to have too many unused items
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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870
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wife left.
(Preview)
A man in his forties bought a new convertible car and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 100km/h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. Theres n...
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Possum3
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1
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1098
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Computer diagnosis
(Preview)
One day, Pete complained to his friend, My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor. His friend said, Dont do that. Theres a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem a...
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Possum3
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1
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1101
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Sign in Bar
(Preview)
A man walks into a Bar and sees a sign; Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.25 Hand Job $15.00 The man checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender "Äre you the one that gives the Hand Jobs?' "Why yes" she purred, "I am" "Well, wash your Feckin hands" says the Man. "I want a cheese sandwich".
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Possum3
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2
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1076
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The Subway
(Preview)
Two drunks are walking around Melbourne when one suddenly disappears down the subway. His mate walks around for a few hours and finally finds his mate coming up out of a subway. Where the hell have you been? asks the guy waiting on the street. Down in some guys cellar and you should see the train set he has...
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RustyD
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0
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997
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Boring lunch
(Preview)
An Irishman, an Australian and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the twentieth floor of the building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch Im going to jump off this building. The Australi...
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Possum3
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0
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927
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