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I hope this is not out of bounds
(Preview)
There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over except his 'thing.' So, he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried in the sand, exc...
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Young Simmo
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1
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1087
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|
|
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Be Carefull
(Preview)
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so...
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Young Simmo
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0
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1038
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Think Old
(Preview)
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Wombat 280
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3
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1185
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10 husbands, still a virgin.
(Preview)
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin.""What?" said the puzzled groom."How can that be if you've been married ten times?""Well, Husband #1 w...
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Yarra
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0
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920
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TO BUMS
(Preview)
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, ...
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SLUG
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0
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1007
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Three little ducks
(Preview)
Three little ducks go into a Bar...... "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck. "Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" sa...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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877
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Here I go again
(Preview)
Three Aussie guys, Shane, Ricky and Jeff, were working on a high-rise building project in Wagga Wagga. Unfortunately, Shane falls off the scaffolding and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ricky says, 'Someone should go and tell his wife.' Jeff says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at t...
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Young Simmo
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5
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1187
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Murphy's at it again.
(Preview)
A coloured guy and Murphy go into a pastry shop. The black guy whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't even notice. The black guy says to Murphy, "You see how clever we are? You Paddies can never beat that!" Murphy says to the black guy, "Watch dis,...
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Baggie
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0
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799
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Be careful
(Preview)
If anybody is wondering where my post in the jokes section, "Who can you trust" has gone, well the 2%ers told the Moderators it was Racist and to take it down which they did. The interesting thing is, it wasn't Racist when I put it up, it suddenly became racist after 3 days and 20 plus comments...
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Young Simmo
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16
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1310
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You win some & you loose some.
(Preview)
A guy at a bar was just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy...
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Young Simmo
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0
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855
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|
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Do I satisfy you in bed
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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706
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A girl came skipping home from school one day
(Preview)
"Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10! See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!""Very good." said her mother."Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"Yes, it's because you're blonde.&q...
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Yarra
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1
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872
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Puddles
(Preview)
It was raining hard and a big puddle hadformed in front of the little Irish pub.An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.'Fishing,' replied the old man.'Poor old bugger' thought the gent...
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Yarra
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1
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756
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A drunk guy calls a radio station..
(Preview)
...and tells the DJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it." The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can retur...
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Yarra
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0
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795
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|
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TRICKY
(Preview)
An elderly man in Louisiana calls his son in New Y ork and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't...
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SLUG
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0
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1021
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the elderly
(Preview)
An elderly man in Louisiana calls his son in New Y ork and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't s...
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SLUG
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3
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980
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|
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Were you ready for marriage
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1095
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|
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Jokes-enjoy
(Preview)
At a ****tail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day s...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1136
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Aussie Bob
(Preview)
Bob, a middle-aged Australian tourist on his first time in America, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whisp...
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Yarra
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0
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1120
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The Rectum Stretcher...
(Preview)
A woman in Ireland driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar gun lying in wait.The policeman pulled her over, walked up to the car, with a patronising smirk and asked, "What's your hurry?"She replied, "I'm late for work.""Oh...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1176
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