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Confucius did not say....
(Preview)
Confucius Did Not Say.....Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.Man who runs in fr...
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hako
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2
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825
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Oops...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1093
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The Cowboy
(Preview)
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you e...
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RustyD
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0
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876
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sex change
(Preview)
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JayDee
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0
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1079
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City lawyer..
(Preview)
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmers field on the other side of a fence.As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, I shot a duck and it fell i...
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aussie_paul
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0
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963
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Dying priest
(Preview)
An old priest lay dying in Woden's, Canberra Hospital. He had served the people near the nation's capital, at Manuka for many years.He motioned for the nurse to come near."Yes father?" said the nurse."I would really like to see Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten before I die" whispered the priest....
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oldbloke
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2
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1030
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Lamborghini
(Preview)
My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamboghini, I said , " wow , that's an amazing car "! He replied , " If you work hard, put all your hours in and strive for exellence, I'll get another one next year " Cheers
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Recoup
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1
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1007
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Fast Food
(Preview)
Went into Mc Donalds and got a big Mac served by a lady wearing a black Burqua, Went to Charlies Chicken and got a box of Nuggets served by a lady wearing a black Burqua, Went to Hungry Jacks and got a Whopper served by a lady wearing a multi -coloured Burqua with flowers all over it. I asked the lady at Hun...
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Possum3
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1
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958
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Chick with big knockers
(Preview)
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RustyD
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0
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921
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A good reason not to have too many unused items
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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847
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wife left.
(Preview)
A man in his forties bought a new convertible car and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 100km/h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. Theres n...
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Possum3
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1
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1073
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Computer diagnosis
(Preview)
One day, Pete complained to his friend, My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor. His friend said, Dont do that. Theres a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem a...
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Possum3
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1
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1074
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Sign in Bar
(Preview)
A man walks into a Bar and sees a sign; Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.25 Hand Job $15.00 The man checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender "Äre you the one that gives the Hand Jobs?' "Why yes" she purred, "I am" "Well, wash your Feckin hands" says the Man. "I want a cheese sandwich".
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Possum3
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2
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1046
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The Subway
(Preview)
Two drunks are walking around Melbourne when one suddenly disappears down the subway. His mate walks around for a few hours and finally finds his mate coming up out of a subway. Where the hell have you been? asks the guy waiting on the street. Down in some guys cellar and you should see the train set he has...
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RustyD
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0
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964
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Boring lunch
(Preview)
An Irishman, an Australian and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the twentieth floor of the building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch Im going to jump off this building. The Australi...
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Possum3
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0
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902
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Train set.
(Preview)
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop. And all you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your arses in...
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Possum3
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0
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935
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Air disaster
(Preview)
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, If Im going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. She removes all her clothing and asks, Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman? A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, Her...
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Possum3
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2
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1061
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Son of a B
(Preview)
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine. His mother heard what he was saying and was shocked. What are you doing? she asked. The little boy answered, Im just doing my math homework, Mum. And this is ho...
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Possum3
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0
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1062
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Sorry can't hear you.
(Preview)
A grandfather with serious hearing problems for a number of years decided hed finally do something about it, and went to the doctor. After a hearing test he was told that when he got fitted with a hearing air it would return his hearing to 100 per cent. The doctor was right. The grandpa could hear as wel...
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Possum3
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0
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951
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Well that's diffferent then...
(Preview)
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00. A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them theyd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: JESUS SAVES.... One of the girl...
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Possum3
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2
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929
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