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Gotta just love golf!
(Preview)
While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very beautiful and attractive lady, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?" As I looked up I noticed she w...
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Possum3
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2
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1081
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Bits and pieces
(Preview)
Odd Ode No 4. The following is attributed to Giles Cholmondely-Smythe, 1870-1912, Poet, Thespian and well known soak. A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the bowel great ease, It warms the bed on a frosty night, and suffocates the fleas.
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Magnarc
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0
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867
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Suspicious
(Preview)
What is the definition of suspicious? When your hotdog develops veins
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deverall11
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0
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1034
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Proof they exist
(Preview)
Pic did not show -- Edited by Chicken strangler on Saturday 28th of October 2017 12:16:36 PM
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Chicken strangler
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9
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1585
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Little Johnny - Some kids are smart !!!!
(Preview)
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Bill Shorten fans.Not really knowing what a Shorten fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John...
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aussie_paul
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2
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986
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Pharmacist
(Preview)
The woman asked the pharmacist, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it work?" "Yes," he answered. She said, "Can you get it over the counter?" "I can, if I take two," he replied.
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rockylizard
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1
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1313
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Romantic!!!!
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1011
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Kiwi
(Preview)
Did you hear about the Kiwi that come to Australia ??? He thought that the Canning Stock Route, was an annual event.
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rgren2
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0
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1024
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The Duck
(Preview)
A Duck started to cross the road and a chicken said "Don't do it!" - you'll never hear the end of it.
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Possum3
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2
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1536
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Makes me proud.
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American archa...
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RustyD
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1
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880
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Jewish Sunbathers*
(Preview)
A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach near Tel-Aviv. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation w...
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67HR
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1
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1348
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Daughters text to dad...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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878
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Old Blue
(Preview)
OLD BLUE We pensioned off old Blue the dog when old age got him down We sent him for company to old Grandma in the town But while Granny was elated Blue still craved the great out doors and he would roam the town exploring while old granny did the chores So it was this sunday morning Blue was fossicking...
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Cupie
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5
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1864
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A day at the races..
(Preview)
A Day At The Horse Races.... Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.The teacher assig...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1240
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Bigger than yours..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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3
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1200
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Of course not!
(Preview)
An old couple is sitting on their couch, and the woman turns to her husband. If I died tomorrow, would you still want to get married again at your age? The husband shrugs. Well, I wouldnt want to be lonely so yes. The wife shoots him a dirty look. Would you live in our house with your new wife? Well, the house...
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Possum3
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0
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1312
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Make it a double...
(Preview)
I lost my s*i*. Quite literallySo today's visit to a Tesco store where Daddy (maintenance) was showing his Fire Engine to the public. A pleasant experience for all. We dropped off his lunch had a go at being the neee nooor driver and returned to the car.When I got back to my car an oversized, too old to be a...
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aussie_paul
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7
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1452
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Dirty dishes
(Preview)
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, Are you sure these plates are clean?Without looking up the old man said, I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water ca...
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oldbloke
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1
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1309
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Priest
(Preview)
An old priest lay dying in Woden's, Canberra Hospital. He had served the people near the nation's capital, at Manuka for many years.He motioned for the nurse to come near."Yes father?" said the nurse."I would really like to see Malcolm Turnbull and Bill Shorten before I die" whispered the priest....
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oldbloke
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0
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1110
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For the teachers....
(Preview)
For the teachers.... Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door."God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France.""Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?""Because that's what I wrote in my geography tes...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1089
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