Just Joking

RustyD · RustyD

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...

Woody2 · Woody2

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...

Woody2 · Woody2

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...

Woody2 · Woody2

This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 6th of July 2017 11:28:58 AM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Getting Old Should Require Training ... I bought a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." It hurts to walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely .

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Husband: Love..... Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep now. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times. H...

RustyD · RustyD

RustyD · RustyD

Possum3 · Possum3

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, So I did; she's 21 and her name's Lucy. ----------------------------------------------------------- Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, Just because my girlfriend...

RustyD · RustyD

I couldn't help but over-hear two young guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired. His buddy says: Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 & 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do." A f...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

RustyD · RustyD

FOUR old retired guys are walking down a street in Cooktown. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me...

Possum3 · Possum3

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?" Again, the barber looks a...

Possum3 · Possum3

IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle. IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day. AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.... IN PRISON..........you get ti...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Monday 3rd of July 2017 09:35:42 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A Message from Bessie Windsor (Preview) A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...	RustyD	0	781	04:45 PM Jul 8, 2017 by RustyD
	Advantages of mothers milk (Preview) Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...	Woody2	0	696	07:46 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	You gotta love Grandmas! (Preview) A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...	Woody2	0	727	07:41 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	Is this what we have to look forward too (Preview) This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...	Woody2	0	707	07:37 PM Jul 7, 2017 by Woody2
	Gated... (Preview) Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 6th of July 2017 11:28:58 AM	aussie_paul	1	769	02:11 PM Jul 6, 2017 by Tony Bev
	Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	850	01:52 PM Jul 6, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Getting Old Should Require Training ... (Preview) Getting Old Should Require Training ... I bought a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: "Remove cap and push up bottom." It hurts to walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely .	aussie_paul	3	773	08:56 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Another lol. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	716	08:10 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Enjoyment.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	789	08:09 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Somethings different.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	788	06:37 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
	She is hot... (Preview) Husband: Love..... *Wife:* Leave me alone! *Husband:* It won't take long. *Wife:* I won't be able to sleep afterwards. *Husband:* I can't sleep now. *Wife:* Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? *Husband:* Because I'm hot. *Wife:* You get hot at the darnedest times. *H...*	aussie_paul	0	818	06:28 PM Jul 5, 2017 by aussie_paul
	Old Meanings (Preview)	RustyD	0	686	05:00 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Another Year Older (Preview)	RustyD	0	709	04:59 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Try again (Preview) The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, So I did; she's 21 and her name's Lucy. ----------------------------------------------------------- Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, Just because my girlfriend...	Possum3	1	816	04:51 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Too Much Sex (Preview) I couldn't help but over-hear two young guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired. His buddy says: Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 & 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do." A f...	RustyD	0	698	02:14 PM Jul 5, 2017 by RustyD
	Guys I need some help ! (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	880	12:14 AM Jul 5, 2017 by Tony Bev
	Cooktown (Preview) FOUR old retired guys are walking down a street in Cooktown. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me...	RustyD	1	786	10:02 AM Jul 4, 2017 by brickies
	Barber (Preview) A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?" Again, the barber looks a...	Possum3	0	689	09:51 AM Jul 4, 2017 by Possum3
	Prison vs work (Preview) IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle. IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day. AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.... IN PRISON..........you get ti...	Possum3	0	633	08:54 AM Jul 4, 2017 by Possum3
	Cold in Canberra. (Preview) Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Monday 3rd of July 2017 09:35:42 PM	aussie_paul	2	796	12:26 AM Jul 4, 2017 by Aus-Kiwi
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