Just Joking

Woody2 · Woody2

It is best to whisper!! A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied, in a loud voice "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was dee...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A bloke had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there. "No," the man replied, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," sai...

Bruce and Bev · Bruce and Bev

A couple have been married for 60 years and their 13 kids decide to chip in and pay to send them on their original honeymoon. Some of the roads and hotels have long since gone, but the hotel they spent their marriage night in still survives and has only had modest updates. The couple arrive that late after...

goldfinger · goldfinger

The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by the Doctor. "In...inf...in front of you?" He asks shyly... The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.... The patient said: "But not one like mine...you'd die laughing at...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,...

goldfinger · goldfinger

MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES.. A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him..... She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought....jus...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'OLD TIMER'S BAR - ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!' They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is tooo good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Com...

Yarra · Yarra

..while his wife waits at home. He promises to be back by five.Five'o'clock comes and goes and the husband hasn't come back yet. Gradually, the hours tick by and no sign of the husband. The wife is about to go looking for him when the front door opens and the husband shuffles in.The wife is worried sick.&...

Yarra · Yarra

A Scottish-born Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied formembership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application hadbeen rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye, and I am a...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window." Th...

Yarra · Yarra

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square offfor the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots...

Yarra · Yarra

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...

goldfinger · goldfinger

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...

Moorey · Moorey

Dave

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...

Moorey · Moorey

His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees. Dave

goldfinger · goldfinger

Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...

goldfinger · goldfinger

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Its best to whisper (Preview) It is best to whisper!! A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied, in a loud voice "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was dee...	Woody2	1	1169	10:46 PM Mar 3, 2016 by KFT
	Super Bowl...Yanks love their Gridiron... (Preview) A bloke had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there. "No," the man replied, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," sai...	goldfinger	0	850	05:20 PM Mar 3, 2016 by goldfinger
	60th Wedding Night (Preview) A couple have been married for 60 years and their 13 kids decide to chip in and pay to send them on their original honeymoon. Some of the roads and hotels have long since gone, but the hotel they spent their marriage night in still survives and has only had modest updates. The couple arrive that late after...	Bruce and Bev	2	1247	09:27 PM Mar 4, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	Just a tiny phallusy....... (Preview) The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by the Doctor. "In...inf...in front of you?" He asks shyly... The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.... The patient said: "But not one like mine...you'd die laughing at...	goldfinger	0	1070	07:38 PM Mar 1, 2016 by goldfinger
	Are my testicles black ? (Preview) A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,...	Aus-Kiwi	1	1020	12:08 AM Mar 2, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	You Ladies only THINK men don't remember Anniversaries...... (Preview) MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES.. A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him..... She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought....jus...	goldfinger	0	961	01:01 PM Mar 1, 2016 by goldfinger
	Old Timer's Bar.... (Preview) Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'OLD TIMER'S BAR - ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!' They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is tooo good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Com...	goldfinger	1	1079	07:56 PM Feb 29, 2016 by rockylizard
	A man goes out to play golf... (Preview) ..while his wife waits at home. He promises to be back by five.Five'o'clock comes and goes and the husband hasn't come back yet. Gradually, the hours tick by and no sign of the husband. The wife is about to go looking for him when the front door opens and the husband shuffles in.The wife is worried sick.&...	Yarra	0	864	09:00 AM Feb 29, 2016 by Yarra
	SCOTTISH JEW AND THE GOLF CLUB (Preview) A Scottish-born Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied formembership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application hadbeen rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye, and I am a...	Yarra	0	776	08:51 AM Feb 29, 2016 by Yarra
	....and a few more zingers........ (Preview) A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window." Th...	goldfinger	1	1135	11:05 PM Feb 26, 2016 by Hey Jim
	Irish Wrestler (Preview) A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square offfor the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots...	Yarra	1	1100	10:10 AM Feb 26, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Can you describe your wife ? (Preview) Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...	Yarra	1	1013	11:19 AM Feb 25, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	Snow in Jamaica (Preview) A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...	Woody n Sue	0	915	10:27 PM Feb 24, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	100 LBS OF DYNAMITE... (Preview) The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...	goldfinger	1	945	11:21 AM Feb 25, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	The Observant Kangaroo (Preview) Dave	Moorey	2	930	10:09 PM Feb 24, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	The Very Patient Grandpa... (Preview) I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...	aussie_paul	2	1139	10:49 PM Feb 24, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Husband Prepares Dinner (Preview) *His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees.*** Dave	Moorey	1	1236	08:32 AM Feb 24, 2016 by grahos
	Troublesome five year old.... (Preview) Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...	goldfinger	0	979	07:49 PM Feb 22, 2016 by goldfinger
	Time for a 'Quickie'..... (Preview) During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...	goldfinger	0	911	07:37 PM Feb 22, 2016 by goldfinger
	He said tonight is all about you darling (Preview)	Woody n Sue	3	1281	09:22 PM Feb 22, 2016 by Baz421
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