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TEXT TO NEIGHBOUR:
(Preview)
TEXT TO NEIGHBOUR:Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. Ive got a confession to make. Ive been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least Im telling you in this text and I cant live with myself a minute longer without you knowing abo...
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Paintar
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2
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1018
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What percentage?
(Preview)
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...
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fwdoz
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0
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883
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Ballerina
(Preview)
One day a woman walked into the bar. She was the ugliest thing you have ever seen. Sweaty, covered in spots and smelling of piss. She also had the hairiest armpits you have ever seen. Suddenly she raised her arm, hairs sticking out of her pit, and said "What man out there will buy a woman a drink?"Everyone...
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fwdoz
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0
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710
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One Liners
(Preview)
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says "No, I'm traveling light". I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone". "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them". "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn'...
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fwdoz
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0
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623
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What is?
(Preview)
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.
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fwdoz
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0
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659
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The Pearly Gates
(Preview)
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"...
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fwdoz
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0
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713
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Inventions
(Preview)
The bathtub was invented in 1850. The telephone was invented in 1875. This might not seem like much, but if you had lived back then, you could have sat in the bathtub for twenty-five years without being bothered by the phone.
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fwdoz
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0
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713
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Another lol.... :)
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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866
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Little Johnny
(Preview)
Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg "E-G-G" "Very good" says the teacher.Peter says he had toast "T...
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fwdoz
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7
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1225
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Agricultural Income is tax-free.
(Preview)
A young woman walks into a Chartered accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her tax Returns. The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions.' He gets her name, address etc. and then asks, ' What's your occupation?' 'I'm a prostitute', she says. The account...
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Paintar
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0
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755
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Question
(Preview)
Question: Why do people have Armies? Answer: So they have somewhere to hang their Handies !
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reikioz
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0
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823
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A Few of my favourite things
(Preview)
Does this fit for you ? Julie Andrews Turning 79 - this is hysterical! To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' fr...
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Cupie
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4
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1119
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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868
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Door knocker
(Preview)
Today a man knocked at my door and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool.. I gave him a glass of water. woody
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Woody n Sue
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1
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965
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'A Rectum Stretcher!'
(Preview)
A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'She replied, 'I'm late for work.''Oh yeah,' said the cop...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1042
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Pick up hitchhiker ?
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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2
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841
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My Pet Mud Crab
(Preview)
Just love this guy .. A bit controversial at times though.
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Cupie
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0
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1024
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A HEART WARMING LAWYER STORY?
(Preview)
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "We...
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Blues Man
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0
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694
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Car Problems
(Preview)
My wife came home yesterday and said "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is". I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I thought for a moment, then said "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburetto...
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fwdoz
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1
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776
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Football Wedding
(Preview)
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says "Well, we have a name for it in my family". "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding". The first asks "What's...
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fwdoz
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1
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750
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