A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, Ill serve you, but dont start anything.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

Without geometry life is pointless.

A termite walks into a bar and asks Is the bar tender here?

I am terrified of elevators. Im going to start taking steps to avoid them.

A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.

Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.

Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested charged with battery

A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says Sorry, we dont serve food here

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Slept like a log last night woke up in the fireplace.

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.