Dogs cant operate MRI machines. But catscan.

I went to play with my boomerang, but forgot how to use it. Then it came back to me.

A monk paid $20 for a hotdog. When he asked the vendor where his change was, the vendor replied "Change comes from within"

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they are shellfish.

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was nothing left but de brie.

I went to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.

use to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

I start a new job in Seoul next month. I hope it will be a good Korea move.

What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood? The spaghetto

I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.

I just swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof.