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Apologies to my Yank mates.
(Preview)
A Texan visitor to England asked an Englishman to show him the biggest building in town.There it is, said the Englishman. Its quite impressive, I must admit.You call that big? scoffed the Texan. Back in Texas we have buildings just like that but over a hundred times bigger!Im not surprised, said the E...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1122
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What is it called?
(Preview)
Little Johnny asked his grandfather a question that had been bothering him for a while. Grandpa, he said. Whats it called when there is someone on top of someone else in bed? The grandad felt very uncomfortable but decided to take the mature route and tell his grandson the truth, Well, thats called in...
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Possum3
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2
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759
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BJ
(Preview)
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.You know that dishwasher you promised me?I bought it with the insurance mo...
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rgren2
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2
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842
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A parking area for Dads with BBQ .
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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647
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Wrong again
(Preview)
A woman returned from a fishing trip with her husband, who refused to speak to her the whole ride back. When they got home, she shared her troubles with a neighbour. I did everything wrong again, she said. I talked too loudly, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in to soon and I caught more than he did.
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Possum3
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1
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815
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Compliment.
(Preview)
A thirsty man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Suddenly he hears someone say: Hey! Nice tie! The man looks around to see who complimented him, but he couldnt see anyone. Hey! Nice shirt! Again, the man looks around but still cant see anyone. Hey! Nice suit! The man then called the bartender over to ask i...
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Possum3
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0
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640
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Warning the f word is mentioned. Message from Australians to Australian Parliament
(Preview)
https://youtu.be/m0ufUSVSyUc
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Lesley F
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3
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638
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DNA Test.
(Preview)
A mother thinks there is something strange about her son so she has a DNA test done in secret. After a long, nervous few days of waiting, the results finally come back. She is shocked to find out that her son is not actually related to her or her husband at all. With a heavy heart, she approaches her husban...
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Possum3
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1
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686
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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633
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Rye Bread..
(Preview)
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he eats to have so much energy.The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye brea...
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aussie_paul
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2
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804
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Ageing - Brilliant!!!!!
(Preview)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERSYOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THEWAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH ANEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.SUDDENL...
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aussie_paul
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2
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899
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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509
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Deaf Couple.
(Preview)
A deaf couple check into a hotel very late at night and, after moving into their assigned room, they fall straight into bed. In the middle of the night, the woman has a headache so she goes to the bathroom for aspirin. But after struggling to find any she remembers she left them in the car and, afraid to go o...
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Possum3
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0
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597
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Relief
(Preview)
A man walk in to the the chemist with raised hand :The chemist ask:hand cream?No , five Viagra tablets.Five woman I have a date today.Next day a man turn up again hand in the air.The chemist say: I know ,five Viagra.No. The man says,Hand cream. None of the women turned up.
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rgren2
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0
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664
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Sneeze.
(Preview)
A man and woman are sitting beside each other on a flight across the world. The woman suddenly sneezes, takes out a tissue, and wipes her nose before visibly shuddering for about ten seconds. A few minutes later, the woman sneezes again. Once more, she takes a tissue, wipes her nose and shudders. A few m...
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Possum3
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1
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820
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Strip club
(Preview)
Johns wife thinks that hes pushing himself too hard, so she decides to take him to a city strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets the pair and says: Hello John! Welcome back! His wife is confused and asks if hes been to this club before. Oh no sweetheart, says John. Hes just on my golf tea...
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Possum3
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1
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732
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Injuns
(Preview)
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would le...
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reikioz
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0
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759
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Friendship.
(Preview)
Friendship between Women A woman doesn't come home one night. Next morning, she tells her husband she stayed over at a girlfriend's place. The husband rings ten of her best friends and not one of them knew anything about it. Friendship between men. A man doesn't come home one night. Next morning, he te...
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Possum3
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1
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667
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Fluctuations
(Preview)
I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was very irritated .. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it chang...
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Paintar
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2
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673
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Wrecked the Tractor.
(Preview)
A boy overturned his fathers tractor. The farmer who lived next door saw what happened so he went over to the boy and said: Hey son, dont worry about that. Come over and have dinner with us and Ill help you get the tractor up later. Thats really nice of you, the boy replied. But I dont think my dad would like m...
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Possum3
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1
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671
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