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Could so be Australia
(Preview)
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Woody2
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0
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697
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Where's your licence?
(Preview)
A police officer pulled over a bloke and asked him for his license, the bloke said "sorry I must have left it at home". The officer said "Ok, can you at least identify yourself"So the bloke adjusted his rear view mirror, took a quick look at himself and said: "Yes, it's me."
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oldbloke
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0
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731
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Compassion.
(Preview)
FEMALE COMPASSION (NEVER TO BE UNDERESTIMATED)A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.The second woman said 'Ha...
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rgren2
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1
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835
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True love
(Preview)
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered toda...
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oldbloke
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2
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773
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Another Airline
(Preview)
When I was in the pub last-night I overheard a couple of d1ckheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on a Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman! What a pair of sexist Tw*ts. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the flaming thing is it?. -- Edited by Possum3 on Tuesday 11th of July 2017 04:09:0...
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Possum3
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1
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871
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WALKING THE DOG......
(Preview)
A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney Along the way. The flight attendant explained that There would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted To get off the aircraft the plane would re-board In 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one...
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kiwijims
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1
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866
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Irish Text
(Preview)
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kiwijims
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0
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810
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Makes perfect sense to me....
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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1
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807
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Ma & Pa
(Preview)
Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college grad...
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Possum3
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0
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876
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Diesel Fitter
(Preview)
A husband and wife lost their jobs at the underwear factory, so attended the social Welfare to sign on. After they had finished, Paddy turned to the wife and asked "How Much a week did you get?" Mavis looked at her husband and said 350pw, what about you? Paddy Replied " 500pw" "That's outrageous discrim...
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Possum3
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0
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832
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A Message from Bessie Windsor
(Preview)
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your i...
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RustyD
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0
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756
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Does it hurt
(Preview)
A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...
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Woody2
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1
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888
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Taxis drivers
(Preview)
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, "...
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Woody2
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2
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889
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Advantages of mothers milk
(Preview)
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:1) It is perfect formula f...
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Woody2
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0
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668
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Breast feeding baby
(Preview)
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she sa...
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Woody2
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1
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749
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You gotta love Grandmas!
(Preview)
A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...
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Woody2
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0
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695
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Is this what we have to look forward too
(Preview)
This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hea...
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Woody2
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0
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662
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You can now plant the tomatoes
(Preview)
An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling...
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Woody2
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2
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668
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YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH...
(Preview)
YOU CAN TELL 'EM IN CHURCH Two boys were walking home from Sunday schoolafter hearing a strong preaching on the devil.One said to the other, 'What do you think aboutall this Satan stuff?'The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'~~~~~~~...
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aussie_paul
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1
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823
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Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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813
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