Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Who loves you more, Your wife or your dog?If you really want to know - Lock them both in the boot of your car.Then let them out after an hour or so, ThenSee who's happy to see you.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. Avoid cutting yourself whilst slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assista...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Wife; "I have a huge bag of clothing that I would like to donate to Salvo's".Husband: "Why not just throw it into the trash? It's much easier."Wife; "But there are poor starving people that could use these clothes".Husband: "Honey, anyone that fits into your clothing is not starving".************...

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

67HR · 67HR

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...

BarneyBDB · BarneyBDB

BarneyBDB · BarneyBDB

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was walking through a seedy part of town the other day, when I came across a couple of louts beating up this young bloke. Of course I jumped in to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the three of us..

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Shoe shine boy.Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal in minute detail while the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the s...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion. He said his wife thought that we should read a book...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Baptist DinnerA group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to h...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens."That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?""Eas...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I'd like to buy some cyanide."The Pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."The Pharmacist's eyes grew bi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Who loves you more.. (Preview) Who loves you more, Your wife or your dog?If you really want to know - Lock them both in the boot of your car.Then let them out after an hour or so, ThenSee who's happy to see you.	aussie_paul	0	335	05:34 PM Nov 22, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Amazingly simple home remedies: (Preview) 1. Avoid cutting yourself whilst slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing th...	aussie_paul	0	317	05:32 PM Nov 22, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Our Government.. (Preview) Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assista...	aussie_paul	0	318	05:29 PM Nov 22, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Donate!!! (Preview) Wife; "I have a huge bag of clothing that I would like to donate to Salvo's".Husband: "Why not just throw it into the trash? It's much easier."Wife; "But there are poor starving people that could use these clothes".Husband: "Honey, anyone that fits into your clothing is not starving".************...	aussie_paul	0	315	05:26 PM Nov 22, 2025 by aussie_paul
	A Miracle (Preview)	Southern Cruizer	0	395	07:35 PM Nov 21, 2025 by Southern Cruizer
	A poor Sole (Preview)	67HR	0	386	08:26 AM Nov 21, 2025 by 67HR
	Limited Hearing (Preview)	Southern Cruizer	0	377	07:21 PM Nov 20, 2025 by Southern Cruizer
	RETARDED GRANDPARENTS.. (Preview) RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...	aussie_paul	0	380	02:49 PM Nov 20, 2025 by aussie_paul
	RETARDED GRANDPARENTS.. (Preview) RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...	aussie_paul	0	271	02:46 PM Nov 20, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Seenager .... (Preview)	BarneyBDB	0	334	09:57 PM Nov 19, 2025 by BarneyBDB
	Safety chain attach hack (Preview)	BarneyBDB	0	570	05:17 PM Nov 18, 2025 by BarneyBDB
	Older person.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	636	08:33 AM Nov 15, 2025 by Magnarc
	HELPING OUT.. (Preview) I was walking through a seedy part of town the other day, when I came across a couple of louts beating up this young bloke. Of course I jumped in to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the three of us..	aussie_paul	0	548	12:47 PM Nov 14, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Shoe shine boy.. (Preview) Shoe shine boy.Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal in minute detail while the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the s...	aussie_paul	0	510	12:45 PM Nov 14, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Mistake.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	512	07:50 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Everywhere.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	469	07:47 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
	The Men's Shed Group.. (Preview) We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion. He said his wife thought that we should read a book...	aussie_paul	0	501	07:32 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
	The.. (Preview) The Baptist DinnerA group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to h...	aussie_paul	0	457	06:36 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Finding a woman sobbing.. (Preview) Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens."That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?""Eas...	aussie_paul	0	407	05:03 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
	A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, (Preview) A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I'd like to buy some cyanide."The Pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."The Pharmacist's eyes grew bi...	aussie_paul	0	400	05:01 PM Nov 13, 2025 by aussie_paul
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