Late again, Johnny, said Miss Crabtree, arms crossed as little Johnny slipped into class nearly three hours past the bell.
It aint my fault, Miss Crabtree, Johnny said, eyes wide with innocence. Blame my daddy. Its cause he sleeps in the nude!
Now Miss Crabtree had been teaching third grade for over thirty years. Shed heard every excuse in the book but this one gave her pause.
With a wary sigh, she asked, Johnny what does your father sleeping naked have to do with you being late?
Johnny grinned, clearly enjoying every second of his story.
Well, Miss Crabtree, we got ourselves a real sneaky coyote out at the ranch. The past few nights he got six of our hens and even killed Mamas best milk goat!
So last night, Daddy heard something in the chicken coop. He jumped up, grabbed his shotgun, and hollered, That dang coyotes back! Im gonna get him!
He told us kids to stay inside. And off he wentnaked as a jaybird! No boots, no pants, no nothin!
Johnny pantomimed crawling on the ground.
He creeped out to the coop real quiet-like, crawlin through the dirt like some kind of cowboy ninja. Then he poked his double-barrel through the henhouse window, just waitin
Miss Crabtree raised a brow. Go on.
Well, Johnny continued, our old black Lab, Hudson, woke up and went lookin for Daddy and just as Daddy was starin into the dark, thinkin he had that coyote cornered
Johnny paused dramatically, Hudson snuck up behind him and stuck his cold nose right in Daddys crack!
The class erupted.
Johnny added proudly, We been pluckin chickens since three this mornin. Daddy fired both barrels straight through the roof!
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Age does not weary us, makes us go travelling more
