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Forgive me, father..
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There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The prie...
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When..
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Hell..
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mis..
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Pants..
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A bakery owner..
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A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt, and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. Id like some ra...
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Weighing..
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A gorgeous...
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A priest
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A priest appears at the gate to hell. Surprised, because priests were rare in hell, a demon gets curious and jumps into the priest's path."How'd you die?" he thunders at him. The priest replied, "I had a heart attack." Demon: "Alright, what happened?" Priest: "Someone broke my windows, popped the ti...
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Things [NOT] to do when seeing Lord of the Rings
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1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?" 2. Block the entrance to the theatre while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!" 3. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts. 4. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis...
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Gundog
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The Lazy Worker..
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If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts andthinking things through, you will love this!Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy...
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Trust...
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EV
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OK
(Preview)
A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute... He says "how much for a hand job?" She says, it's $250. He says,"$250 for a lousy hand job? That's crazy! She says, "Honey, follow me" and takes him outside. "See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world...
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This is beyond classic! .... Enjoy!
(Preview)
PERFECTIONA man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. Hegets into the taxi and the cabbie says, Perfect timing. Youre justlike Frank.Passenger: Who?Cabbie: Frank Feldman. Hes a guy who did everything right all thetime. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened l...
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Desert island..
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A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years.One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.Man: "Hi! I am so happy to see you."Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"Man: "It's been 10 years!"...With this information the girl un...
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Paddy again..
(Preview)
Paddy Murphy suspects that Mrs Murphy is doing the jiggerypokery with Declan O'Toole from next door.Deciding to catch her at it, Paddy tells her he's working late when he leaves in the morning.That evening Paddy was hiding in the bushes over the road from his house, and sure enough, shortly after dar...
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Boots
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Southern Cruizer
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More funnies..
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What is good about Australia by a Yank !!
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What is good about Australia by a Yank !!This Bloke Sure Is Spot On with His readings.David Mason is a Writer, a Professor, and a Poet Laureate from Colorado, USAThere's a lot to admire about Australia, especially if you're a visiting American, says David Mason.More often than you might expect, Aust...
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