A guy walks into a bar with his dog, plops him on a barstool, and orders a bourbon & Coke.  Then he turns to the dog and says, Whatll you have, Rover?
Rover looks at the bartender and says, Scotch and soda light on the soda. 
The bartender stares. No way. That dog cant talk youre a ventriloquist.
Nope, hes the real deal, the man says. Im going to the restroom talk to him yourself. But dont let him out of your sight. Hes worth a fortune.
When the man comes back no dog.
Wheres Rover?!
I didnt believe he could talk, so I gave him a couple of bucks to get me a newspaper and some chewing tobacco at the drugstore.
No sign of him at the drugstore, so they search all over town until eventually they find him in an alley having a whale of a time on top of a French poodle. 
The man shouts, Rover! What on earth are you doing?! Youve never done this before!
Rover pants and says First time I ever had any money!