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A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Harbour.Just before she could throw herself off Circular Quay, a handsome young manstopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are offto Italy tomorrow. I can stow you a...

Out of the mouth of......A group of school kids went on an excursion to the police station.The police officer pointed to the 10 Most Wanted list and told them that these were the most wanted criminals in the whole country.One student pointed to the photo of the man at the top of the list and said, He is the...

aussie_paul, Your posts make me laugh so much I get the stitches, lol!

[url]https://www.reddit.com/r/CrappyDesign/comments/oyywav/the_mini_cooper_countrymans_right_t...

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his 'manhood' into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him...

The cyclone weather earlier this year in the Cairns area has caused much water damage to my Jayco Starcraft. It is not insured. I need to repair the floor in the toilet area and think that the best way of doing this is to open the rear end of the caravan to remove everything up to the fridge. That way I'd be...

We have a Webasto diesel heater installed a couple of months ago under a bench seat with a inlet for drawing air from inside in our MH. Over a period of 2 nights we accidentally operated the heater with an obstruction in front of the intake vent. The heater now works fine in every way, it turns on and heats a...

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for thedoctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, andexamined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned,asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.'Breast-fed,' she replied...'Well, strip d...

Jacob, age 92, and Reba, age 91, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"...

A plane was moving down the tarmac before it stopped abruptly, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off."What was the problem?" a worried passenger asked the flight attendant."The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," the flight attendant re...

Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"Selma, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"Morty yelled, "He says you wer...

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table.Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.They saw her and...