Recently Active Topics

Coming up for my sixteenth birthday, Mum asked "What would you like for your birthday?". I thought about this for about half a second and replied, " I WANNA WATCH " but they didn't let me.

A young woman visits her parents and brings her new partner to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man. The father invites the man to his library for a drink and asks him: So what are your plans? I am a Torah scholar, he says. The father answers: A To...

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the f...

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap an...

A boy was asked to do a report on childbirth and so he asked his parents how he was born. Well honey, said the slightly prudish parent. The stork brought you to us. Oh, said the boy. Well, how did you and daddy get born? Oh, your grandparents found us under a rock. the mother answered getting quite uncomfor...

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked: Why are some of your hairs white, Mum? Her m...

A truck driver was driving along on the highway. He passed a sign that said ?low bridge ahead.? Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck underneath it. Cars were backed up for kilometres behind him. Finally, a police car pulled up. The officer got out of his car and walked aroun...

Four guys were at a campsite. They had to bunk two to a room but no one wanted to share with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasnt fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept in the same cabin as Daryl, and came to breakfast the next mor...

https://www.google.com/search?q=the+kiffness+sounds+of+silence&oq=the+kiffness+sounds+of+silence&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i64.10086j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Funny

After less than 3 years our kitchen tap is leaking under the sink. Contacted the workshop of the dealer and it was suggested the cheapest option is to replace the mixer tap. The original is Camec 220mm spout. The only alternative appears to be a Coast although that may need extra fittings. Is one brand b...

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his ...first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, '...

How to send same!

A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one ano...

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the re...

I like many of you, at times escape into the fantasy of "" I DREAM THE DREAM "" and yes Saturday night's lotto is till on my bucket list. I like what Charlie Brown has to say below. I notice that C.B. even has the big brown bag ready for the $$$$$ Jay&Dee -- Edited by JayDee on Friday 15th of May 2020 06:45...

Regular readers/writers will no doubt remember my rantings a number of weeks ago regarding my "OSTI" problem. Nutshell. An operation on my lower back. Pain had/has been bad for about 6 years. 2017. An op to stop the pain. First time in hospital. 2 weeks later, and I am without pain. Must get out of the so...

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student fem...ale nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "...

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me". Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".... Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". Paddy spends the next 2 hours...

Bud light commercial.........