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a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...

My misses asked me "watcha doing today" I said nuttin She said u done that yesterday I said "i aint finished yet ___________________ Man comes home and finds his wife in bed with one of his mates. So he shoots him dead. Wife says u keep doing that your gunna...

There was this 10 year old boy walking down the street dragging a squashed frog on a string. He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. The Madam answered the door , looked down at the little boy and asked what he wanted, he said i want to have sex with one of your girls, i have money and im no...

To all those into Barra fishing as I am this will make you cry . These fish are reported to have been washed over the slip way at Moondarra Dam at the Isa . Crashed onto the rocks and floating up down stream . Old story Ya should have been here yesterday

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is ru...

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things...

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_______...

During our last trip, our power supply failed in the pop top. We purchased a Setec ST20-11 20 amp power supply to replace it, which has an inbuilt regulator and 5 amp output battery charger. From my research, I now find it is just a matter of mounting a battery and running leads through an isolation swit...

The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down t...

: BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?

Can anyone suggest a good book of the diagrams for Tai-chi, The Sapphire mine is too wet for digging , and with the bus the only activity I need some more exercise and variety

Gidday all I have been in the internet backwaters for over a month, with yet another long term failure. I am on Satellite, so repairs take time I have missed this site, the jokes and the general exchange. Not to mention emails and catching up with mates via messenger Funny how this internet has beco...

Hi Folks, I'm at Blinman in the Flinders Rasnges and I've been out of range for the last few days and probably won't be in range again for at least a week. See ya then

Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sad...

We should all get together and write 10 commandments for all the Newbies who havent done this before, Like , if you intend to drink the water, dont look in the tank, My sons suggestion, he is about to embark on his first trip, dont know where,?? I think hes going to follow my advise and turn first left, the...

A free bunch of bananas to anyone who can tell me. What was the Australian Prime Ministers name in 1958.

I am putting this post on here because I think it is mainly we solo's who feel this kind of vulnerability! Headed into the Grampians area and thought I would stay at Lake Lonsdale. Red tick in the book! Got to the boat ramp, down a obviously disused road to find just toilets sitting there and a boat ramp to a...

hi all i am thinking of retiring after 53 years in the work force. the problem being what does one do with oneself. i am keen to see australia but wonder if people are hostile and wont give me work whilst i am travelling. i dont want to work full time any more but would like a little bit of work just to get me...