Just Joking

jimricho · jimricho

For Seniors 60 plus deodorant. I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome!

twobob · twobob

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is wor...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah . and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ... after all, she stuck by me durin' the drough...

Firefly · Firefly

-- Edited by Firefly on Monday 2nd of November 2009 03:44:34 PM

Firefly · Firefly

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again a...

twobob · twobob

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We tr...

jimricho · jimricho

If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Pauline Hanson DO NOT OPEN IT as it may contain a virus! If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Julia Gillard DO NOT OPEN IT as may contain a nude photo of Julia Gillard!

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blon...

Firefly · Firefly

At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery ( Tasmania ), Tooheys ( New South Wales ), XXXX ( Queensland ), CUB ( Victoria ) and Coopers ( South Australia ) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the waitress asked what the...

twobob · twobob

when will it end!!! I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to P*ss off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!

jimricho · jimricho

WARNING; DON'T "DE-SPOONERISE" IF NAUGHTY WORDS OFFEND! In Memory Of A Great Man, The Late Ronnie Barker This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a sn igger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one comp...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of LakeBurley Griffin in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand howyou can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same sizeas kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been ea...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane That will teac...

Firefly · Firefly

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy Marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems By taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-si...

Firefly · Firefly

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts...

jimricho · jimricho

The NSW Government and the NSW Greens party were recently presenting an alternative method to NSW Farmers for controlling that States rampant dingo population. It seems that after years of the farmers using the tried and true traditional methods of shooting or trapping the predators, the tree-h...

Firefly · Firefly

A Mallee farmer got into his ute, drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door. "Is your Dad home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, &q...

jimricho · jimricho

MOUSE BALLS... I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	60 plus deodorant. (Preview) For Seniors 60 plus deodorant. I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome!	jimricho	2	1140	05:53 PM Nov 5, 2009 by Disco Duck
	the junior conductor (Preview) A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b***ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b***ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos...	twobob	1	1011	05:51 PM Nov 5, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Stay Calm (Preview) A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is wor...	Disco Duck	0	940	01:06 PM Nov 4, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Didn't Quite Understand? (Preview) Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah . and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ... after all, she stuck by me durin' the drough...	Disco Duck	0	1121	12:58 PM Nov 4, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Grizzly Bears (Preview) -- Edited by Firefly on Monday 2nd of November 2009 03:44:34 PM	Firefly	0	864	04:42 PM Nov 2, 2009 by Firefly
	The Womens Remote (Preview)	Firefly	0	1059	12:45 PM Nov 2, 2009 by Firefly
	Bugs Bunny (Preview) A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again a...	Wombat 280	1	1386	06:05 PM Nov 1, 2009 by jimricho
	God of Golf (Preview) A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We tr...	twobob	0	892	08:45 PM Oct 30, 2009 by twobob
	Important!!...Virus Warning...Nude photos (Preview) If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Pauline Hanson DO NOT OPEN IT as it may contain a virus! If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Julia Gillard DO NOT OPEN IT as may contain a nude photo of Julia Gillard!	jimricho	0	1336	08:20 PM Oct 30, 2009 by jimricho
	Its a man thing (Preview) One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blon...	Gary and Kerry	1	1094	02:38 PM Oct 30, 2009 by JRH
	A Queensland Joke. (Preview) At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery ( Tasmania ), Tooheys ( New South Wales ), XXXX ( Queensland ), CUB ( Victoria ) and Coopers ( South Australia ) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the waitress asked what the...	Firefly	2	1563	01:49 PM Oct 30, 2009 by biggles
	Charity (Preview) when will it end!!! I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to P*ss off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!	twobob	2	1152	09:51 PM Oct 29, 2009 by robert and esther
	Rindercella and her sugly isters (Preview) WARNING; DON'T "DE-SPOONERISE" IF NAUGHTY WORDS OFFEND! In Memory Of A Great Man, The Late Ronnie Barker This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a sn igger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one comp...	jimricho	9	4229	04:31 PM Oct 27, 2009 by dave06
	Losing Weight (Preview) Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of LakeBurley Griffin in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand howyou can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same sizeas kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been ea...	Wombat 280	0	1211	11:43 AM Oct 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	University of Life (Preview) A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane That will teac...	Wombat 280	0	1103	11:15 AM Oct 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Murder At Woolworths (Preview) Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy Marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems By taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-si...	Firefly	2	1002	11:51 PM Oct 23, 2009 by ElBe
	Travellers (Preview) Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts...	Firefly	2	1294	11:45 PM Oct 23, 2009 by ElBe
	Greenies n dingoes (Preview) The NSW Government and the NSW Greens party were recently presenting an alternative method to NSW Farmers for controlling that States rampant dingo population. It seems that after years of the farmers using the tried and true traditional methods of shooting or trapping the predators, the tree-h...	jimricho	1	1250	07:03 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
	The Mallee Farmer (Preview) A Mallee farmer got into his ute, drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door. "Is your Dad home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, &q...	Firefly	1	1193	07:01 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
	MOUSE BALLS... (Preview) MOUSE BALLS... I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled...	jimricho	3	1191	07:00 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
«First < 1 … 679 680 681 682 683 … 706 > Last» \| Page of 706 sorted by