2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
12. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
13. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
14. Every calendar's days are numbered.
15. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine & 'taint enough of it!!
16. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
17. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
18. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Merda tauris scientia vincit