Just Joking

Roostertales · Roostertales

:They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken :99% of lawyers give the others a bad name :Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "what the hell happened" :A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory :If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of paym...

rowdy · rowdy

A little girl goes to her mother and asks "Mummy do birds have spare parts" The mother assures her that "no birds don't have spare parts." The little girl returns later and says "Mummy are you sure birds don't have spare parts" "Of course I...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

A man was sitting on a blanket down on the beach he had no arms or legs 3 women came walking passed seen the poor bloke sitting all alone so first lady walks over and asks if she could give him a hug the bloke say y not, she hugs him gently. The second asks if he would mind if she kissed him, he says...

ROAMIN · ROAMIN

Dave06, My i take this time to wish you and every one on this fourm a MERRY CHRISTMAS A SAFE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. Roamin.

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling... Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother rep...

Roostertales · Roostertales

A different slant on an old theme. Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand! Mum used to cut chicken, slice eggs and spread butter on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning. My Mum used to defrost mince-meat on the kitchen sink AND I used to eat a bite raw somet...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

I just had to share this one:- This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister...

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.' Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I u...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Siamese twins walk into a pub in Brisbane and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two XXXX Draught beers please' The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the be...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you g...

Roostertales · Roostertales

> > > > > > > > An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and > begins exchanging her money. > > After the transaction is complete she asks the teller > 'Why it change, yesterday I get two hunat dollar for...

Roostertales · Roostertales

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her Return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff.....

Roostertales · Roostertales

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.' He did what he needed to, and as he sa...

Roostertales · Roostertales

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.. NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The Sta...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb

NannyMon · NannyMon

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Natu...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold an egg. 5...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

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Roostertales · Roostertales

Not sure if anyone has seen this : http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Late nite funnies (Preview) :They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken :99% of lawyers give the others a bad name :Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "what the hell happened" :A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory :If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of paym...	Roostertales	0	1285	10:56 PM Dec 27, 2008 by Roostertales
	spare parts (Preview) A little girl goes to her mother and asks "Mummy do birds have spare parts" The mother assures her that "no birds don't have spare parts." The little girl returns later and says "Mummy are you sure birds don't have spare parts" "Of course I...	rowdy	1	1384	01:36 PM Dec 27, 2008 by dave06
	Female compassion (Preview) A man was sitting on a blanket down on the beach he had no arms or legs 3 women came walking passed seen the poor bloke sitting all alone so first lady walks over and asks if she could give him a hug the bloke say y not, she hugs him gently. The second asks if he would mind if she kissed him, he says...	drongo & wendy	0	1063	09:08 AM Dec 27, 2008 by drongo & wendy
	Christmas (Preview) Dave06, My i take this time to wish you and every one on this fourm a MERRY CHRISTMAS A SAFE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. Roamin.	ROAMIN	1	1134	08:58 PM Dec 23, 2008 by dave06
	Sunday morning Church bells (Preview) I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling... Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother rep...	Gary and Kerry	1	1752	09:47 PM Dec 22, 2008 by Pam
	uh oh - I belong to this brigade ! (Preview) *A different slant on an old theme.* *Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand!* Mum used to cut chicken, slice eggs and spread butter on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning. My Mum used to defrost mince-meat on the kitchen sink AND I used to eat a bite raw somet...	Roostertales	8	1459	11:49 AM Dec 21, 2008 by JRH
	The dog that ran out of petrol (Preview) A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...	Basil Faulty	0	1276	06:02 PM Dec 15, 2008 by Basil Faulty
	Did you have a Jellyfish bad day? (Preview) I just had to share this one:- This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister...	Cruising Granny	1	1479	04:24 PM Dec 14, 2008 by dave06
	OH LORD Funny but Naughty (Preview) When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.' Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I u...	Xtrail51	0	1446	10:10 PM Dec 13, 2008 by Xtrail51
	TWINS (Preview) Siamese twins walk into a pub in Brisbane and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two XXXX Draught beers please' The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the be...	Gary and Kerry	1	1249	10:05 PM Dec 13, 2008 by jimbo
	Quote of the day (Preview) 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you g...	Gary and Kerry	0	1202	07:15 PM Dec 12, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Fresh off the presss (Preview) > > > > > > > > An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and > begins exchanging her money. > > After the transaction is complete she asks the teller > 'Why it change, yesterday I get two hunat dollar for...	Roostertales	1	1400	08:33 AM Dec 12, 2008 by Pam
	I love a good Irish gag (Preview) An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her Return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff.....	Roostertales	0	1159	01:00 PM Dec 11, 2008 by Roostertales
	one for the ladies ! (Preview) In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.' He did what he needed to, and as he sa...	Roostertales	0	1209	10:35 AM Dec 10, 2008 by Roostertales
	One for the Kiwi's amongst us - economic's (Preview) SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.. NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The Sta...	Roostertales	2	1148	04:34 PM Dec 9, 2008 by Roostertales
	Bit of Fun (Preview) http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb	Gary and Kerry	0	1048	09:24 PM Dec 8, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Poem by Pam Ayres (Preview) Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Natu...	NannyMon	1	2083	08:24 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
	Stages of Life (Preview) GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold an egg. 5...	Gary and Kerry	1	1198	07:56 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
	Poms In the Outback ( Read at own Risk ) (Preview) <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"T...	Wombat 280	8	2056	07:25 PM Dec 8, 2008 by Dragonfly
	Doghouse blues (Preview) Not sure if anyone has seen this : http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx	Roostertales	3	1113	01:30 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
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