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NOT WHAT YOU SAY ; BUT THE WAY YOU SAY IT;
(Preview)
At the Saturday night tent revival the preacher announces, "Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar." Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies: "Pr...
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justcruisin01
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0
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957
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THE PERFECT WEEKEND
(Preview)
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip. Two days before the group is to leave, David's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Davids's friends are very upset that hecan't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site...
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GrumpyOne
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1
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964
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Be careful what you ask for
(Preview)
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, hes...
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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788
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Elementary my dear Watson
(Preview)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see. Watson replied: I see millions and millions of stars. Holmes said: and wh...
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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815
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An oldie but a goodie
(Preview)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's ma...
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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889
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????????????????????????????????????
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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1
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900
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the ekka - (brisbane show)
(Preview)
two ****ies pat and jim. pat says to jim "are ya going to the ekka this year jim. jim says yeah i am. pat says what route are ya taking? jim says oh i think i'll take the missus, afterall she stuck by me through the drought.......
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petengail
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0
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843
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SINGLE
(Preview)
Little old lady is sitting on a bench on Bondi Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In...
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goinsoon
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0
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1286
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What's your name?
(Preview)
What's Your Name, Again? Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, &q...
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goinsoon
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0
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917
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HORISONTAL VR,S VERTICAL?
(Preview)
> > Two > Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, > looking up. > > > A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing > > Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the > height of this flagpole, but we don't have a > ladder..' > >...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1122
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unused;
(Preview)
The Elderly Irish Virgin In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the l...
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justcruisin01
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1
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928
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BLIND LEADER;
(Preview)
THE LABRADOR Paddy tells Mick ..."Im thinking of buying a Labrador. " "Fook off "say's Mick, " Are you mad???!!!!" "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind!?"
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justcruisin01
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0
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843
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BLONDS
(Preview)
DISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.. They started crying and turned around and went home. FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the...
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justcruisin01
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2
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986
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quick answers;
(Preview)
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man app...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1016
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Fortune-Teller
(Preview)
John went to a fortune teller for some guidance. The fortune-teller gazed into her crystal ball and then started laughing uncontrollably.So John punched her on the nose. It was the first time he'd ever struck a happy medium.
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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838
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Wiremu
(Preview)
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, So he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prost...
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jimricho
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1
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928
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Bacon Tree
(Preview)
Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si...
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clazandaza
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2
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934
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A bit short
(Preview)
A three legged dog limped into a saloon . I'm looking for th bloke who shot my paw
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1061
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Life in the Australian Army...
(Preview)
Life in the Australian Army... Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better th...
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jimricho
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2
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1103
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R&R
(Preview)
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. Th...
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goinsoon
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1
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1028
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