Just Joking

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..... yet lives for 450 years. AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE! I'm retired,...

Firefly · Firefly

It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Cooper...

Firefly · Firefly

An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount...

Firefly · Firefly

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. .... and then, made the earth round. That God, She's such a joker.........

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD... Well, its ****... That's right, ****! **** may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke ****, buy ****, sell ****, lose ****, find ****, forget ****, And tell others to eat ****. Some people know their ****, while others can't tell the...

Old Crofter · Old Crofter

Three friends married women from different parts of the world. The first man married a British girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a South Af...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water p...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

more to come later

tonyd · tonyd

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 - EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE With v. British tongue in cheek -- The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised...

Firefly · Firefly

A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out...

gubby · gubby

Did you hear about the Barber who broke his leg skiing. Now he can only cut hair on crutches....

sucastja · sucastja

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all working as spies for the UK Government during the cold war when they're captured by the Ruskies.Several years pass and the Russian prison starts to get a bit full, and the oppurtunity arises for an exchange of prisoners. The Russians talk and decide not t...

sucastja · sucastja

One day I go abroad to a bigga hotel. Inna morning I go down to eata breakfast. I tella watress I wan two pissas toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wan two piss. She say go toilet. I say you you no understand, I wan two piss on ma plate. She say you betta no pissa onna plate you dirty sonna bitch. I donna ev...

jimbo · jimbo

INO COME WORK TODAY ----- Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her t...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag beca...

robell · robell

The Funeral Procession A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. ~ A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. ~ Behind the second hearse was a s...

Firefly · Firefly

jimricho · jimricho

Queenslander: Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the in...

robell · robell

An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an emplo...

DKay · DKay

The kids have all their little SMS codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the *seniors: * ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Centre DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HEALTH MESSAGE (Preview) 1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..... yet lives for 450 years. AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE! I'm retired,...	Cruising Granny	3	996	11:02 PM Jun 23, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Only In Queensland (Preview) It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Cooper...	Firefly	1	765	10:59 PM Jun 23, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Work Or Pleasure? (Preview) An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount...	Firefly	2	985	09:39 AM Jun 23, 2011 by Pam
	God's Promise (Preview) While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. .... and then, made the earth round. That God, She's such a joker.........	Firefly	3	999	06:58 AM Jun 22, 2011 by jimricho
	THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD.. (Preview) THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD... Well, its **... That's right, ! may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke , buy , sell , lose , find , forget , And tell others to eat . Some people know their **, while others can't tell the...	Cowboy7307	0	1050	06:02 AM Jun 22, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A TASMANIAN GIRL (Preview) Three friends married women from different parts of the world. The first man married a British girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a South Af...	Old Crofter	2	1038	10:10 PM Jun 21, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Men Are Seldom Depressed because - (Preview) Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water p...	Cruising Granny	5	1080	10:06 PM Jun 21, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	New pics of gubby (Preview) more to come later	_wombat_	21	1023	09:08 AM Jun 20, 2011 by gubby
	The best of British (Preview) ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 - EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE With v. British tongue in cheek -- The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised...	tonyd	0	932	11:26 PM Jun 19, 2011 by tonyd
	Never Lie To A Woman (Preview) A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out...	Firefly	2	992	08:14 PM Jun 19, 2011 by Firefly
	The Barber (Preview) Did you hear about the Barber who broke his leg skiing. Now he can only cut hair on crutches....	gubby	2	954	05:01 PM Jun 19, 2011 by clazandaza
	Walk up the Beam of Light (Preview) An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all working as spies for the UK Government during the cold war when they're captured by the Ruskies.Several years pass and the Russian prison starts to get a bit full, and the oppurtunity arises for an exchange of prisoners. The Russians talk and decide not t...	sucastja	1	1061	09:09 PM Jun 18, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Italian Abroad (Preview) One day I go abroad to a bigga hotel. Inna morning I go down to eata breakfast. I tella watress I wan two pissas toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wan two piss. She say go toilet. I say you you no understand, I wan two piss on ma plate. She say you betta no pissa onna plate you dirty sonna bitch. I donna ev...	sucastja	1	1200	02:28 PM Jun 18, 2011 by jimbo
	Hung Chow (Preview) INO COME WORK TODAY ----- Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her t...	jimbo	2	1252	04:19 AM Jun 18, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	THE UNDERTAKER'S BLACK EYE (Preview) Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?" asked his wife. "I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag beca...	Cowboy7307	2	1078	10:02 PM Jun 17, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	The funeral (Preview) *The Funeral Procession* A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. ~ A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. ~ Behind the second hearse was a s...	robell	2	1035	10:01 PM Jun 17, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Swimsuit Boutique (Preview)	Firefly	1	942	09:59 PM Jun 17, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Queenslander (Preview) Queenslander: Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the in...	jimricho	1	792	09:58 PM Jun 17, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Square Testicles (Preview) An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an emplo...	robell	0	925	08:47 PM Jun 17, 2011 by robell
	SMS / text codes for the seniors. (Preview) The kids have all their little SMS codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the seniors: * ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Centre DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blo...	DKay	2	1228	06:21 PM Jun 17, 2011 by jimricho
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