Just Joking

eagles · eagles

A dapper young bloke walks into a bar and tries his luck with an attractive girl alone at a table. After trying all his lines and totally dispondent that she is not at all interested,he retires to the bar and comments to the barman that he has never been knocked back like that. A minute or so later an old dru...

pipes · pipes

My lady partner is always finding, and bringing home, lost or injured birds. The other day I slope into the house and there perched on the back of me favourite chair is a bloody big sea eagle. That was bad enough, but sitting on the couch were three ducks. One was reading the paper, and two were arguing o...

gubby · gubby

THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET 1. You walka pasta da Bakery. 2. You walka pasta da candy store. 3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop. 4. You walka pasta da table and da fridge. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT!!!! Guaranteed..... -- Edited by gubby on Friday 22nd of April 2011 11:36:50 AM

jack biggles · jack biggles

Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat,&quo...

robell · robell

Do you need a laugh??? What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department?? and shyly walked up to? the woman behind the counter and said,? 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.?'? 'What type of bra?'?asked the clerk.? 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,'...

robell · robell

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetl...

Firefly · Firefly

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Fergusontractor. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches hi...

clazandaza · clazandaza

Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the incident and...

robell · robell

One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He...

robell · robell

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creep...

robell · robell

Airline Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage Compartment and sat down in my Assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight from Perth.'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short sleep,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of diggers Came down the aisle and filled a...

robell · robell

BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents. And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL. I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART. Tribute to a man who DID make a difference. ON TURNING 70 'You still chase women...

Happywanderer · Happywanderer

Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN...

jules47 · jules47

Men are like.... 1. Men are likeLaxatives. They irritate the crap out of you. 2 Men are likeBananas . The older they get, the less firm they are. 3.Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them. 4.Men are like BlendersYou need one, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are likeChocolate Bars .....

jules47 · jules47

Sorry reposted same one by mistake -- Edited by jules47 on Friday 15th of April 2011 04:51:37 PM

jules47 · jules47

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small childr en . You all have obsessions,' he observed.. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've ev en named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your ob...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Enjoy life Now , it has an expiration date . Jn other words Aspire to Inspire before You Expire Richo

BGR · BGR

A guy calls the muso's union to get a quote on a 6 piece band for a wedding. The rep says "Off the top of my head...... about $2,000". The guys says "WHAT! FOR MUSIC?." The rep responds "I'll tell you what, why don't you call the plumbers union & ask for six plumbers to work f...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride! Richo

robell · robell

Subject: A Little Flab...................... One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt and said, "if you firmed up, we could get rid of your control top panty hose". While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent. The next morning...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	eyebrows (Preview) A dapper young bloke walks into a bar and tries his luck with an attractive girl alone at a table. After trying all his lines and totally dispondent that she is not at all interested,he retires to the bar and comments to the barman that he has never been knocked back like that. A minute or so later an old dru...	eagles	0	721	02:05 PM Apr 25, 2011 by eagles
	enough is enough (Preview) My lady partner is always finding, and bringing home, lost or injured birds. The other day I slope into the house and there perched on the back of me favourite chair is a bloody big sea eagle. That was bad enough, but sitting on the couch were three ducks. One was reading the paper, and two were arguing o...	pipes	0	931	04:17 PM Apr 23, 2011 by pipes
	THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET (Preview) THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET 1. You walka pasta da Bakery. 2. You walka pasta da candy store. 3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop. 4. You walka pasta da table and da fridge. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT!!!! Guaranteed..... -- Edited by gubby on Friday 22nd of April 2011 11:36:50 AM	gubby	0	714	11:33 AM Apr 22, 2011 by gubby
	upside down nails (Preview) Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat,&quo...	jack biggles	0	890	10:33 AM Apr 22, 2011 by jack biggles
	bras (Preview) Do you need a laugh??? What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department?? and shyly walked up to? the woman behind the counter and said,? 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.?'? 'What type of bra?'?asked the clerk.? 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,'...	robell	1	1307	05:18 PM Apr 23, 2011 by Pam
	Laugh (Preview) I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetl...	robell	0	997	10:09 PM Apr 21, 2011 by robell
	Paddy (Preview) Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Fergusontractor. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches hi...	Firefly	1	951	09:11 PM Apr 21, 2011 by robell
	Queenslander (Preview) Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the incident and...	clazandaza	0	979	07:02 PM Apr 20, 2011 by clazandaza
	one for the ladies (Preview) One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He...	robell	0	867	12:40 PM Apr 19, 2011 by robell
	Don't upset granny (Preview) Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creep...	robell	0	989	06:34 PM Apr 17, 2011 by robell
	They deserve it (Preview) Airline Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage Compartment and sat down in my Assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight from Perth.'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short sleep,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of diggers Came down the aisle and filled a...	robell	2	1441	01:55 PM Apr 18, 2011 by Pam
	memories (Preview) BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents. And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL. I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART. Tribute to a man who DID make a difference. ON TURNING 70 'You still chase women...	robell	1	874	05:51 PM Apr 17, 2011 by robell
	Three ladies in a sauna! (Preview) Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN...	Happywanderer	1	1044	04:56 PM Apr 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Men (Preview) Men are like.... 1. Men are likeLaxatives. They irritate the crap out of you. 2 Men are likeBananas . The older they get, the less firm they are. 3.Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them. 4.Men are like BlendersYou need one, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are likeChocolate Bars .....	jules47	0	930	09:21 AM Apr 17, 2011 by jules47
	Obsessions (Preview) Sorry reposted same one by mistake -- Edited by jules47 on Friday 15th of April 2011 04:51:37 PM	jules47	0	848	04:50 PM Apr 15, 2011 by jules47
	Obsessions (Preview) A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small childr en . You all have obsessions,' he observed.. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've ev en named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your ob...	jules47	1	1003	02:09 PM Apr 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Life's Moments (Preview) Enjoy life Now , it has an expiration date . Jn other words Aspire to Inspire before You Expire Richo	Zoomtopz	1	1031	02:13 PM Apr 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
	So you need a band (Preview) A guy calls the muso's union to get a quote on a 6 piece band for a wedding. The rep says "Off the top of my head...... about $2,000". The guys says "WHAT! FOR MUSIC?." The rep responds "I'll tell you what, why don't you call the plumbers union & ask for six plumbers to work f...	BGR	1	720	02:14 PM Apr 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
	My interpretation (Preview) Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride! Richo	Zoomtopz	2	849	05:33 PM Apr 25, 2011 by robell
	a little flab (Preview) Subject: A Little Flab...................... One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt and said, "if you firmed up, we could get rid of your control top panty hose". While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent. The next morning...	robell	1	984	02:16 PM Apr 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
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