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Very Clever
(Preview)
WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles inKabul,Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind...
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Disco Duck
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0
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704
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You May Have Seen Before
(Preview)
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,...
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Disco Duck
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0
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788
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Mums worst nightmare
(Preview)
Dear mum, I am writing you this note to say that I haven't been honest to you lately. I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy. I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant. His friends will come over all the time so I can get a l...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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766
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just plain funny
(Preview)
Tampax are changing their design they are replacing the string with a piece of tinsel .... This is for the Christmas period only!
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twobob
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1
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617
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Replacement Windows.
(Preview)
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,....... just because I'm...
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Firefly
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1
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927
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Medical Stimulus Package
(Preview)
Medical Stimulus Package: Apparently the Australian Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package..... The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neu...
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Firefly
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1
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926
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Private Parts
(Preview)
MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.' Knowing her patients were a little forgetf...
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Disco Duck
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0
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821
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The Scotsman.
(Preview)
A Scotsman moves to the United States and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!" The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers &qu...
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Firefly
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0
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940
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HELPING HAND.
(Preview)
An old Italian man wanted to dig up his tomato garden to plant next years crop , Due to his age & health he was unable to do the work , His only son ,Vinney,was serving time in jail , He writes a letter to his son, Dear son, wish you were here to dig the tomato garden for me , He receives a letter back, Dear far...
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justcruisin01
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0
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917
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911
(Preview)
An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentallyshoots his wife. He immediately dials 911 Irishman: ''It's my wife! I've accidentally shot her,I've killed her!'' Operator: ''Please calm down Sir, can you firstmake sure she is actually dead!'' clickclick - *BANG* Irishman: ''Okay, done t...
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Firefly
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0
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933
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Grandpas
(Preview)
THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as G...
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Disco Duck
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0
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772
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Wear underwear in Public !
(Preview)
Advice to all men Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Stockton-on-Tees couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping whi...
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Gary and Kerry
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2
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968
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Euro-English
(Preview)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and...
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Palebushman
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6
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1053
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Ever wondered ?
(Preview)
Ever wondered about Guts or Balls... There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by...
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Disco Duck
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0
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593
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Important Dietary Information
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live lo...
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The Gnome
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3
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1120
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Relationships
(Preview)
I'm about three years into my relationship now and have started having erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas about what the problem could be. She bought me some Viagra I bought the fat bitch a treadmill.
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Disco Duck
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0
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848
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Rodney Rude at his best. (Warning strong language)
(Preview)
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? Eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ---...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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973
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Irish Farmer
(Preview)
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a road accident with a lorry. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.. Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded...
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jimricho
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1
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953
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For the golfers.....
(Preview)
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make,I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've b...
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Basil Faulty
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1
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798
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help
(Preview)
we are buying our first van and are looking at a 7.3 mtr van and they tell me i cant pull it with a 2004 ford wagon is this right or should i go smaller percy
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percy
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0
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547
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