Dont fart in Harrods.       
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely, she unexpectedly farts. 
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. 
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - good looking and cool as a cucumber,
he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store
like Harrods. 
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help
you today? 
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of
this lovely bracelet?' 
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you'll 'poop' yourself
when I tell you the price!"