Just Joking

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A single glass of wine at night has been invented for Seniors . Some winemakers in th Hunter & Barossa grape areas got together to come up with a grape that is great for seniors at night Yes One glass of wine for a full uninterupted nights sleep , I kid you not , a wine for seniors . The Hunter & Baro...

robell · robell

I DID NOT THINK I WOULD GET WHAT TENJOOBERRYMUDS MEANT BUT BY THE TIME I READ THIS,I DO UNDER STAND WHAT IT MEANS..SEE IF YOU CAN TOO)! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn Vietnamese, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds. My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctor...

Peterpan · Peterpan

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. Th...

D-evil-ace · D-evil-ace

A group of tough looking bikers were out riding one day when they came across a girl about to jump off a bridge. They stopped & the lead biker, a big burly bloke got off his bike, strolled over to the girl & asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to commit suicide so don't come any closer&quo...

sucastja · sucastja

A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, I just came fr...

sucastja · sucastja

THE SENSITIVITY OF SENIORS. This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office in West Vancouver after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly gentleman received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to al...

jules47 · jules47

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...

jules47 · jules47

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...

ozi2 · ozi2

Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...

sucastja · sucastja

LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

ALRIGHT, who's the wise ass that sent this to me? WHOEVER SENT IT, send it to SOMEONE that COULD benefit from it, OKAY!

Peterpan · Peterpan

A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...

jimbo · jimbo

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........

sucastja · sucastja

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	At last (Preview) A single glass of wine at night has been invented for Seniors . Some winemakers in th Hunter & Barossa grape areas got together to come up with a grape that is great for seniors at night Yes One glass of wine for a full uninterupted nights sleep , I kid you not , a wine for seniors . The Hunter & Baro...	Zoomtopz	1	926	06:13 PM Jul 15, 2011 by jules47
	Tenjooberrymuds (Preview) I DID NOT THINK I WOULD GET WHAT TENJOOBERRYMUDS MEANT BUT BY THE TIME I READ THIS,I DO UNDER STAND WHAT IT MEANS..SEE IF YOU CAN TOO)! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn Vietnamese, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds. My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctor...	robell	2	1078	06:12 PM Jul 15, 2011 by jules47
	Alien (Preview) Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. Th...	Peterpan	0	838	12:08 AM Jul 14, 2011 by Peterpan
	Suicide (Preview) A group of tough looking bikers were out riding one day when they came across a girl about to jump off a bridge. They stopped & the lead biker, a big burly bloke got off his bike, strolled over to the girl & asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to commit suicide so don't come any closer&quo...	D-evil-ace	0	813	04:08 PM Jul 13, 2011 by D-evil-ace
	He should have seen it coming . . . (Preview) A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care, I just came fr...	sucastja	0	631	07:48 AM Jul 13, 2011 by sucastja
	The Sensitivity of Seniors (Preview) THE SENSITIVITY OF SENIORS. This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office in West Vancouver after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly gentleman received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to al...	sucastja	0	674	07:44 AM Jul 13, 2011 by sucastja
	Nude Runner (Preview) A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...	jules47	0	1251	10:04 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Beethoven (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...	jules47	4	911	09:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Right & left or left & right (Preview) I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo	Zoomtopz	0	581	09:30 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Alzheimers (Preview) Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...	Wombat 280	0	633	07:40 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Wombat 280
	How it started (Preview) Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...	Zoomtopz	1	549	05:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	holistic medicine (Preview) Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...	ozi2	1	717	04:11 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	A bit of Aussie Culture (Preview) LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...	sucastja	3	993	05:51 PM Jul 10, 2011 by jules47
	The Funeral (Preview) A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....	Peterpan	1	623	05:16 PM Jul 7, 2011 by jules47
	ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND (Preview) ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over...	oldrtvute	1	1021	06:24 PM Jul 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Senior Signs (Preview) ALRIGHT, who's the wise ass that sent this to me? WHOEVER SENT IT, send it to SOMEONE that COULD benefit from it, OKAY!	Cruising Granny	16	1150	06:15 PM Jul 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	A Twisted Tale (Preview) A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...	Peterpan	1	893	01:29 PM Jul 6, 2011 by jimbo
	Letter to Bank Manager (Preview) this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...	_wombat_	0	863	07:59 AM Jul 5, 2011 by _wombat_
	Will this bloke ever learn (Preview) The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........	jimbo	1	793	07:21 PM Jul 4, 2011 by robell
	Gift for Mother in Law (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"	sucastja	0	611	07:08 PM Jul 4, 2011 by sucastja
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