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Proud to be a Queenslander
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Melbourne scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Victorians, in the weeks that followed, a Sydney arch...
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Palebushman
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0
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792
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Melons, pears and onions
(Preview)
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but ha...
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Cinnamon
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1
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1176
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Two Assies
(Preview)
Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving muc...
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jimricho
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0
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757
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Old Farts
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...
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clazandaza
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0
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987
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SCHOTTISH HUBBY;
(Preview)
A THOUGHTFUL SCOTTISH HUSBAND? Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Margaret - put your hat and coat on lassie.' she replied, ' Awe Jock that's nice - are you ta...
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justcruisin01
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1
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751
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It'sabout to start
(Preview)
A bloke comes home from work and goes into the lounge and plonks himself in his favourite chair and turns on the telly. He says to the missus "Quick honey get me a beer it's gunna start" She gets him a beer and as he finishes it he says to the missus "Quick honey, get me another beer it's gunn...
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DKay
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0
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902
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Morning Sex
(Preview)
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, &...
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Gary and Kerry
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5
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1298
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Moral question
(Preview)
MORAL DILEMMA This test will only take one minute and only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision....
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clazandaza
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5
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942
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New Deodorant
(Preview)
I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome. -- Edited by jimricho on Friday 12th of February 2010 07:24:39 PM
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jimricho
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0
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732
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Truckie
(Preview)
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.He said, 'I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair ofrunning boards.' The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pai...
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Xtrail51
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0
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841
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DUCKY
(Preview)
Three little ducks go into a Bar...... 'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck..'Huey,' was the reply.'How's your day been, Huey?''Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender. H...
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justcruisin01
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0
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671
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gorilla escaped Sydney Harbour!
(Preview)
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travelaustralia1
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0
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2584
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DOLLY VERSES THE QUEEN;
(Preview)
The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them g...
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justcruisin01
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1
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785
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Dinner with old friends..
(Preview)
> > > >>A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet > >>for dinner. > >> > >> Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen > >> restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blous...
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Xtrail51
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1
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849
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Redneck Limo
(Preview)
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jimricho
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0
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697
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MERLOT;
(Preview)
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy littlerestaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stare...
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justcruisin01
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0
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631
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Good Ol' Days
(Preview)
"When I were a lad, my mum would send me down to da corner store wiv' a dollar, and I'd come back wiv' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now...too many @#&ken security cameras."
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jimricho
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1
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732
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Slightly blonde
(Preview)
Two sperm are traveling inside a blonde. One says to the other "How far are we from the egg?" The other says "Not far now, we just passed the tonsils."
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clazandaza
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0
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588
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Diary Of A Pom
(Preview)
Diary of a Karratha Summer (by a pom) August 31st Just got transferred with work into our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!. Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautifu...
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joebee
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0
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1022
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The Lawyer
(Preview)
A client went to a lawyer and asked him if he could answer two questions for a fee of $1000 each. "Sure" said the lawyer, "What's the second question"?!! Thommo. -- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 2nd of February 2010 11:05:33 PM
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thommo
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2
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811
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