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BAKED BEANS - This is hilarious!
(Preview)
I'd met a sweet man and fell in love. When it becameapparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave upBaked Beans.Some months later, and as it happens on my birthday,my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in thecountryside..I had no choice but to call home and leave...
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gerard gue
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3
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1211
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Tragedy
(Preview)
Julia Gillard was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Ms Gillard if she would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy' A li...
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sucastja
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1
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1042
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IRISH BLONDE
(Preview)
An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, ro...
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gerard gue
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1
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953
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TWO IRISH MEN;
(Preview)
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1162
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BP;
(Preview)
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?' 'I'm out of gas,' the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and in...
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justcruisin01
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0
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995
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THE STORK'
(Preview)
THE STORK The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks theteacher, are you sure abou...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1038
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IRISH SERVO;
(Preview)
A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the p...
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justcruisin01
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0
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853
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NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN;
(Preview)
Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to rea...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1015
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SIX AFFAIRS;
(Preview)
The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and dr...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1064
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Shorty
(Preview)
A man goes into a bookstore and asks the young lady assistant... "Do you have that new book out for men with short penises...... I can't remember the title?" She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." The man said, "that's the one, I'll take a copy."
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jimbo
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0
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699
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Earth Day.
(Preview)
Here,s something I saw in The Australian. The Canadian eco minister has a candle lit diner with wife to celebrate Earth day, and was rudely interupted when he caught the pet cat on fire........., then refused to use an electric fan to get rid of the smell(after dousing the cat ), caught the curtain...
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bill12
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0
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779
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Guide Dogs
(Preview)
Paddy say's "hey Mick" I'm thinking of getting a Labrador, Mick said, bugger that Paddy have you seen how many of their owners go blind !!!!! The grim reaper come for me last night ! I beat him of with a vacuum cleaner, talk about "Dyson" with death
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miroku12g
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0
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805
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Blind faith.
(Preview)
Two mates walking their dogs on a nice sunny afternoon. After a while they come across a pub, one of the guys, says to his mate, "how about we go over and have a drink?" Is mate replies, "We can't go in the pub with the dogs." Watch, says his mate. He then pulls out his sunglasses and te...
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Landfall
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0
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879
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My Dad!
(Preview)
During a recent flood in a small town, a young girl and a > boy were perched on top of their house. As they sat watching > articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go > past. > > Suddenly, the hat turned and came back, then turned around > and went downstream. After it had gon...
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jimbo
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0
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971
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The "Bottom" Line
(Preview)
The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the d...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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956
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Bank Loan to a Scottish millionaire
(Preview)
A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, CentralLondon and asks for the manager.He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeksand needs to borrow £5,000.The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for theloan,so Hamish ha...
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gerard gue
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1
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977
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Dr Bumbuktu
(Preview)
A young woman want bigger breasts . But she does not want surgery . A friend tells her she has to go to Africa , and see Dr Bumbuktu . Off she goes , no problems says th Doc . Just recite this Every day , your boobs Will get bigger . "Scoobie , doobie , doobie , I want bigger boobies" . She does her exer...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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917
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Old Timers Bar
(Preview)
-- Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room...
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Kev-Maz
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0
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806
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S&M
(Preview)
One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She showed it to her husband. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?" The dad looke...
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goinsoon
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0
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852
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The Human Body
(Preview)
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria o...
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Firefly
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4
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957
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