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WRONG ANSWER;
(Preview)
WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Makes...
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justcruisin01
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0
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670
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SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPEC SAVERS;
(Preview)
FORGOT MY GLASSES .... Yesterday, my daughter again asked me why I didn't do something useful with my time.Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.She said that she was "only thinking about me", and suggested that I go down t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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701
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Stuttering
(Preview)
A teacher's story about Stuttering A teacher is explaining biology to her 2nd grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, as...
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Hurls
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0
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707
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A Touch of Warmth
(Preview)
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GaryKelly
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6
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1009
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Truism
(Preview)
*The Circle of Life. What is Success? . . .* *A Simple Explanation* 1. At the age of 3, Success means : Keeping your underwear clean. 2. At the age of 12, Success means : Having friends. 3. At the age of 18, Success means : Having a driver's licence. 4. At the age of 20, Success means : Having sex. 5. At the age o...
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Magnarc
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3
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964
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The Joy of Being Self Employed
(Preview)
Subject: The Joy of being Self employed (Thought you'd like this one!) The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to Burin to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.&qu...
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Hurls
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1
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1063
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we learn as we go
(Preview)
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along. So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a resort. One morning...
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sarg
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2
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726
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Out of the mouths of children.
(Preview)
This did not upset me, so hopefully it will not upset any members of this forum. it is one of my cherished memory and something that I will carry with me with a smile for many years .... or at least while I still remember! We were just into our annual camping trip with our 12 year old grandson, when we visite...
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chaslib
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2
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829
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50 Shades of Grey - by Pam Ayres
(Preview)
By Pam Ayres......... So get the right rhythm. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)The missus bought a Paperback,Down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appe...
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nomadic1
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2
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4306
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Zen teachings.
(Preview)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Alway...
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nomadic1
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0
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713
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Maths Quiz
(Preview)
Subject: MATH QUIZ: Reveals your favourite movieTHIS IS TRULY AMAZING - AND WORTH THE EFFORT. MATH QUIZ: Reveals your favourite movie!! I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my numerical capabilities. Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough it IS my ver...
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clazandaza
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7
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1572
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OLD WAY OF HOW TO GOOGLE
(Preview)
-- Edited by 2foot6 on Friday 17th of May 2013 03:46:00 PM
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2foot6
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2
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724
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HOW TRUE IS THIS
(Preview)
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2foot6
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1
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749
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5 star chinese hotel.
(Preview)
Brochure circulated by a 5-Star Chinese Hotel Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The mana...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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989
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Blonde Job Applicants
(Preview)
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position to enter the Police Acadamy. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a fol...
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Hurls
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1
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799
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One for golfers
(Preview)
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Seņor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Seņor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? T...
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tonyd
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0
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597
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Government Under Threat, Please Help
(Preview)
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Canberra. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the car window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire Lower House and Senate at Parliament House, and t...
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Hurls
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5
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764
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Not a joke, but worth watching.
(Preview)
Subject: FW: Judge Jeanine to the mother of the Tsarnaev brothers Wow ! Why she doesn't she tell us how she REALLY feels ! This woman speaks the truth and most of the Western World would agree with her. BUT who among us in Australia at the elected level would be brave enough to deliver a similar tira...
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Hurls
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2
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741
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DUI ;
(Preview)
Two indigenous Australians were driving their well used and abused old EH Holden wagon in the outback recently, when off in the distance they saw a police "booze bus". Rather than trying to avoid it, the driver headed straight for it. As they pulled up, the driver wound his window down and...
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justcruisin01
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0
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828
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SENIOR BANKING
(Preview)
You'll love this one! Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calcula...
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Renfrew
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0
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732
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