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Always wear undies
(Preview)
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily Telegraph comes this story of a Sydney couple who drove their car to Westfield Blacktown, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixe...
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sucastja
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2
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1104
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polish divorce
(Preview)
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked...
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sucastja
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1
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991
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What would you do?
(Preview)
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip-toe into th...
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sucastja
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0
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891
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Old Lady
(Preview)
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "...
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sucastja
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0
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773
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BAKED BEANS - This is hilarious!
(Preview)
I'd met a sweet man and fell in love. When it becameapparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave upBaked Beans.Some months later, and as it happens on my birthday,my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in thecountryside..I had no choice but to call home and leave...
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gerard gue
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3
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1204
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Tragedy
(Preview)
Julia Gillard was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Ms Gillard if she would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy' A li...
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sucastja
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1
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1031
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IRISH BLONDE
(Preview)
An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, ro...
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gerard gue
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1
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945
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TWO IRISH MEN;
(Preview)
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1154
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BP;
(Preview)
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?' 'I'm out of gas,' the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and in...
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justcruisin01
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0
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985
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THE STORK'
(Preview)
THE STORK The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks theteacher, are you sure abou...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1026
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IRISH SERVO;
(Preview)
A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the p...
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justcruisin01
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0
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840
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NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN;
(Preview)
Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to rea...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1007
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SIX AFFAIRS;
(Preview)
The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and dr...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1054
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Shorty
(Preview)
A man goes into a bookstore and asks the young lady assistant... "Do you have that new book out for men with short penises...... I can't remember the title?" She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." The man said, "that's the one, I'll take a copy."
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jimbo
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0
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691
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Earth Day.
(Preview)
Here,s something I saw in The Australian. The Canadian eco minister has a candle lit diner with wife to celebrate Earth day, and was rudely interupted when he caught the pet cat on fire........., then refused to use an electric fan to get rid of the smell(after dousing the cat ), caught the curtain...
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bill12
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0
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769
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Guide Dogs
(Preview)
Paddy say's "hey Mick" I'm thinking of getting a Labrador, Mick said, bugger that Paddy have you seen how many of their owners go blind !!!!! The grim reaper come for me last night ! I beat him of with a vacuum cleaner, talk about "Dyson" with death
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miroku12g
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0
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793
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Blind faith.
(Preview)
Two mates walking their dogs on a nice sunny afternoon. After a while they come across a pub, one of the guys, says to his mate, "how about we go over and have a drink?" Is mate replies, "We can't go in the pub with the dogs." Watch, says his mate. He then pulls out his sunglasses and te...
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Landfall
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0
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868
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My Dad!
(Preview)
During a recent flood in a small town, a young girl and a > boy were perched on top of their house. As they sat watching > articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go > past. > > Suddenly, the hat turned and came back, then turned around > and went downstream. After it had gon...
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jimbo
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0
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960
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The "Bottom" Line
(Preview)
The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the d...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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944
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Bank Loan to a Scottish millionaire
(Preview)
A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, CentralLondon and asks for the manager.He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeksand needs to borrow £5,000.The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for theloan,so Hamish ha...
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gerard gue
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1
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969
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