"Hello, Seņor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Seņor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Seņor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Seņor Bob."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Seņor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Seņor Bob ..."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Seņor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Seņor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Seņor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Seņor Bob."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Seņor Bob."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Seņor Bob. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
SILENCE...........
LONG SILENCE.........
VERY LONG SILENCE............
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****."
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If you don't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them.
