Just Joking

Chazza · Chazza

Race day at Cunnamulla. Crowds of people everywhere you look. A bloke pushes his way through the people around one of the bookies. "M-m-mate," he stutters, "I b-b-backed a f-f-five t-t-to..." "Go on, get out of the way will you?" the bookie responds. "Can't y...

sarg · sarg

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...

copper1 · copper1

*Coffee with the Pope* Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican.After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from '...

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

Have you ever seen a van parked in a camping area that was rocking, and wondered what was going on inside? Here's one version.

jules47 · jules47

If you had sex every night for 365 days, then boiled all the rubbers you used down to make a tyre - what would you have? A bloody Goodyear!!!!!

Duh · Duh

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Blonde says to daughter; I taught here every thing I know! & she stills knows nothing. JC.

jimbo · jimbo

FOR ALL THE LOVERS . . .* He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth. ..in and out...in and out She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts and trickling down the small of...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT: My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be lan...

Chazza · Chazza

This is an all-time classic poem based on the manner in which Australians apply a certain adjective in a loosely integrated manner. It is a characteristic that leaves our Anglo cousins bemused... and the Seppos totally dumbfounded. You'll know it when you read it. THE INTEGRATED ADJECTIVE by John...

Magnarc · Magnarc

There was a young man from Tonnorn, Who wished he had never been born, He wouldn't have been if his daddy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn. ( No offence intended) -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 18th of June 2013 01:43:14 PM

Magnarc · Magnarc

A little old manshuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

sarg · sarg

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your...

Chazza · Chazza

It's not new but I heard it again today and thought it worth repeating: A bloke goes into a Saloon Bar for a drink on the way home. It's very quiet and he chats with the barman. As they chat, he realises the most incredibly beautiful piano music is being played nearby. He asks the barman where the piano rec...

Hurls · Hurls

Last week, the Governor General, Quentin Bryce, returning from visiting flood-ravaged Bundaberg, disembarked from her official RAAF flight at Canberra Airport, carrying a small piglet under each arm. Her ADC, a bright, young Army officer, there to greet her, came to attention, snapped off a sal...

Chazza · Chazza

We had discussed with our great-grandies, over time, about being "Grey Nomads". While visiting family a week ago, Mr Five-Year-Old said something that made me pause and ask for a repeat (mainly because my - selective - hearing in not what it once was). Too young to understand what he'd sai...

Chazza · Chazza

The King of ancient Persia was a fisherman of some note. He spent every spare hour (when not flaying people alive) participating in his favourite pastime, wetting a line. He was a pretty inventive sort of fellow and developed a device three thousand years before it came into more widespread use. He ma...

spida · spida

Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks: "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers, "Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door sa...

sarg · sarg

While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for abou...

spida · spida

Best Irish Joke in a long Time! Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the Night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll Not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll Be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and st...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	RACE DAY AT CUNNAMULLA (Preview) Race day at Cunnamulla. Crowds of people everywhere you look. A bloke pushes his way through the people around one of the bookies. "M-m-mate," he stutters, "I b-b-backed a f-f-five t-t-to..." "Go on, get out of the way will you?" the bookie responds. "Can't y...	Chazza	1	871	04:34 PM Jun 21, 2013 by GaryKelly
	MUSIC (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...	sarg	1	685	03:58 PM Jun 21, 2013 by Chazza
	Coffee with the Pope (Preview) Coffee with the Pope Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican.After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from '...	copper1	1	947	01:36 PM Jun 21, 2013 by sarg
	Rocking caravan (Preview) Have you ever seen a van parked in a camping area that was rocking, and wondered what was going on inside? Here's one version.	GaryKelly	1	769	12:51 PM Jun 21, 2013 by Zoomtopz
	Rubber Tyres (Preview) If you had sex every night for 365 days, then boiled all the rubbers you used down to make a tyre - what would you have? A bloody Goodyear!!!!!	jules47	1	757	08:42 PM Jun 20, 2013 by dazren
	The Stranger.... (Preview) A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my...	Duh	1	896	04:11 PM Jun 20, 2013 by Peterpan
	THINK ABOUT THIS; (Preview) Blonde says to daughter; I taught here every thing I know! & she stills knows nothing. JC.	justcruisin01	0	691	03:06 AM Jun 20, 2013 by justcruisin01
	For all the Lovers (Preview) FOR ALL THE LOVERS . . .* He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth. ..in and out...in and out She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts and trickling down the small of...	jimbo	0	720	10:45 PM Jun 19, 2013 by jimbo
	THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT; (Preview) THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT: My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be lan...	justcruisin01	2	1577	12:34 AM Jun 20, 2013 by GaryKelly
	THE INTEGRATED ADJECTIVE by John O'Grady (Preview) This is an all-time classic poem based on the manner in which Australians apply a certain adjective in a loosely integrated manner. It is a characteristic that leaves our Anglo cousins bemused... and the Seppos totally dumbfounded. You'll know it when you read it. THE INTEGRATED ADJECTIVE by John...	Chazza	1	1744	06:09 PM Jun 19, 2013 by jules47
	Dirty ditty (Preview) There was a young man from Tonnorn, Who wished he had never been born, He wouldn't have been if his daddy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn. ( No offence intended) -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 18th of June 2013 01:43:14 PM	Magnarc	2	739	03:56 PM Jun 19, 2013 by Magnarc
	Oh dear! (Preview) A little old manshuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'	Magnarc	2	737	07:52 PM Jun 18, 2013 by Magnarc
	ITS A DOGS LIFE (Preview) Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your...	sarg	1	725	05:11 PM Jun 18, 2013 by Chazza
	IT PAYS TO SPEAK UP...! (Preview) It's not new but I heard it again today and thought it worth repeating: A bloke goes into a Saloon Bar for a drink on the way home. It's very quiet and he chats with the barman. As they chat, he realises the most incredibly beautiful piano music is being played nearby. He asks the barman where the piano rec...	Chazza	0	582	05:19 AM Jun 18, 2013 by Chazza
	Excellent Trade (Preview) Last week, the Governor General, Quentin Bryce, returning from visiting flood-ravaged Bundaberg, disembarked from her official RAAF flight at Canberra Airport, carrying a small piglet under each arm. Her ADC, a bright, young Army officer, there to greet her, came to attention, snapped off a sal...	Hurls	0	665	10:27 PM Jun 17, 2013 by Hurls
	OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES...! (Preview) We had discussed with our great-grandies, over time, about being "Grey Nomads". While visiting family a week ago, Mr Five-Year-Old said something that made me pause and ask for a repeat (mainly because my - selective - hearing in not what it once was). Too young to understand what he'd sai...	Chazza	2	674	05:01 AM Jun 18, 2013 by Chazza
	FOR THE FISHERMAN: A HISTORY LESSON (Preview) The King of ancient Persia was a fisherman of some note. He spent every spare hour (when not flaying people alive) participating in his favourite pastime, wetting a line. He was a pretty inventive sort of fellow and developed a device three thousand years before it came into more widespread use. He ma...	Chazza	2	680	01:04 AM Jun 18, 2013 by Chazza
	Bought v Homemade (Preview) Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks: "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers, "Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door sa...	spida	0	955	08:33 PM Jun 16, 2013 by spida
	SENIOR ROAD TRIP (Preview) While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for abou...	sarg	1	821	08:54 PM Jun 16, 2013 by pauline
	Another Irish Joke (Preview) Best Irish Joke in a long Time! Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the Night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll Not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll Be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and st...	spida	1	870	01:45 PM Jun 16, 2013 by sarg
«First < 1 … 573 574 575 576 577 … 699 > Last» \| Page of 699 sorted by