Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And G...

Hendo · Hendo

I was in Somnia last month but didn't get much sleep. ( Your turn )

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A sign of the times > A woman walks into the City Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .> 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?'> 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.> She says, 'Sit down Terry.'...

bridget · bridget

Nelly · Nelly

I was asked by the local minister to play the bagpipes at a funeral for an old homeless man - he had no family, no friends and was to be buried in a paupers grave. I agreed to do this for the old man. On the day of the funeral I got lost, and being a man, I didn't ask for directions therefore I was an hour late to th...

sarg · sarg

Very sad news at the Cadbury factory in Tasmania today. A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me", everyone just cheered. ...

copper1 · copper1

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour.... He had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. the woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so r...

copper1 · copper1

When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. This ******* looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Crown Larger or VB?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t? *********** I was talking to a girl i...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

JC.

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

LORD, THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER .. Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 chi...

Vic41 · Vic41

http://safeshare.tv/w/GnFzeOCVZF

sarg · sarg

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. 'Hello,' said the little boy'Hi,' replied the little girl. 'Where are you going?' asked the little boy. 'I've been to church this morn...

Yendorane · Yendorane

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

Hendo · Hendo

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Thoughts from a friend: I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world and realized that at my age, I don't really give much of a rat's ass anymore. - If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. - A rabbit r...

copper1 · copper1

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Starbucks "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee." ... "I couldn't even m...

Hendo · Hendo

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if she had a newspaper handy. "This is the 21st century Dad," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my I Pad." I can tell you this: I Pads are bloody useless for swatting flies.

bridget · bridget

Hendo · Hendo

On a train from London to Manchester to watch the cricket, an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm ME! I hav...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AN EXPLANATION OF LIFE; (Preview) On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And G...	justcruisin01	1	735	12:20 PM Jan 16, 2014 by sarg
	Places I've been # 2 (Preview) I was in Somnia last month but didn't get much sleep. ( Your turn )	Hendo	9	864	11:48 AM Jan 16, 2014 by Hendo
	A SIGHN OF THE TIMES; (Preview) A sign of the times > A woman walks into the City Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .> 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?'> 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.> She says, 'Sit down Terry.'...	justcruisin01	1	667	12:38 AM Jan 16, 2014 by Bunkerbob
	flowers anyone ...lol (Preview)	bridget	0	547	01:10 PM Jan 15, 2014 by bridget
	Burial (Preview) I was asked by the local minister to play the bagpipes at a funeral for an old homeless man - he had no family, no friends and was to be buried in a paupers grave. I agreed to do this for the old man. On the day of the funeral I got lost, and being a man, I didn't ask for directions therefore I was an hour late to th...	Nelly	0	627	09:33 AM Jan 15, 2014 by Nelly
	TASMANIAN ACCCIDENT. (Preview) Very sad news at the Cadbury factory in Tasmania today. A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me", everyone just cheered. ...	sarg	1	662	02:49 PM Jan 15, 2014 by copper1
	TOMATOE'S....!! (Preview) A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour.... He had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. the woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so r...	copper1	0	595	09:22 PM Jan 14, 2014 by copper1
	When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. (Preview) When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. This ***** looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Crown Larger or VB?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t? ********* I was talking to a girl i...	copper1	1	617	09:14 PM Jan 14, 2014 by sarg
	MANUAL LABOR; (Preview) JC.	justcruisin01	1	657	08:20 PM Jan 14, 2014 by mongrel
	Ethel and Margaret (Preview) LORD, THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER .. Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 chi...	Gunsondeck	2	1188	06:10 PM Jan 14, 2014 by Bunkerbob
	Masculine Moments..... (Preview) http://safeshare.tv/w/GnFzeOCVZF	Vic41	1	829	05:27 PM Jan 14, 2014 by GaryKelly
	Sunday CLOTHES (Preview) A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. 'Hello,' said the little boy'Hi,' replied the little girl. 'Where are you going?' asked the little boy. 'I've been to church this morn...	sarg	1	769	03:52 PM Jan 14, 2014 by mongrel
	Morris (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	Yendorane	2	769	10:03 PM Jan 13, 2014 by sarg
	Places I've been (Preview) I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several...	Hendo	0	563	09:29 AM Jan 13, 2014 by Hendo
	: BETTY WELCOMING HOME HER CRICKET TEAM. (Preview)	Gunsondeck	0	591	09:21 AM Jan 13, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Thoughts from a friend: (Preview) Thoughts from a friend: I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world and realized that at my age, I don't really give much of a rat's ass anymore. - If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. - A rabbit r...	Gunsondeck	1	1108	04:33 PM Jan 13, 2014 by Patto44
	Getting Old (Preview) A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Starbucks "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee." ... "I couldn't even m...	copper1	1	624	09:21 AM Jan 13, 2014 by dazren
	I Pad (Preview) I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if she had a newspaper handy. "This is the 21st century Dad," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my I Pad." I can tell you this: I Pads are bloody useless for swatting flies.	Hendo	0	555	12:05 PM Jan 12, 2014 by Hendo
	Give me a BIG HUG..lol (Preview)	bridget	1	623	01:52 PM Jan 12, 2014 by Cowboy7307
	The Englishman (Preview) On a train from London to Manchester to watch the cricket, an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm ME! I hav...	Hendo	1	691	10:10 AM Jan 12, 2014 by sarg
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