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ONE for the OLD FELLA'S
(Preview)
A little old man totters into a chemist to buy some Viagra."Can I have 6 tablets please and I want each of them cut into quarters"The chemist says "I can do that sir, but a quarter will not give youa full erection""I am 96 and don't have much use for an erection. I just w...
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gerard gue
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1
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766
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Grand Parents...
(Preview)
GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ....... If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is......then se...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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765
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Sweet Little Poem.
(Preview)
A fart is a pleasant thing...It gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter... And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud A fart can be short... Or a fart can be long... Some farts have been known... To sound like a song...
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barina
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0
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790
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HEAVENLY TALK;
(Preview)
.Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi, Wanda! 2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I d...
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justcruisin01
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0
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586
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It could happen to anyone...
(Preview)
I swallowed some Tippex last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
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rockylizard
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0
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561
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Irish Coffee
(Preview)
Irish Coffee An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when...
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copper1
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2
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829
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LUBRICANT;
(Preview)
Lubricant Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited b...
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justcruisin01
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0
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693
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PRICELESS!
(Preview)
PRICELESS! A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ... "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-...
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gerard gue
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0
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511
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A BLONDE ORDERS A BEER;
(Preview)
A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a gu...
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justcruisin01
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1
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728
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WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!!
(Preview)
WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandm...
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Big Gorilla
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2
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877
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THE DRUNK.
(Preview)
THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma'...
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sarg
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3
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2203
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Priceless
(Preview)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO no...
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spida
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0
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607
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Thoughts for the Day...
(Preview)
Thoughts for the day ; ..As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. ..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. .. A rabbit ru...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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1874
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DO THE MATHS;
(Preview)
Do the maths...... The owner of a business was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from University and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take of...
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justcruisin01
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0
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633
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Mad Monk
(Preview)
While walking down the street one day a Tony Abbot is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Golden Gate. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around thes...
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Kev-Maz
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1
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2144
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A CHURCH HOTLINE;
(Preview)
ITALIAN ALTAR BOY'S CONFESSION 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure...
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justcruisin01
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0
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672
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HEALTH TIP;
(Preview)
-- Edited by justcruisin01 on Tuesday 27th of August 2013 07:17:11 PM
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justcruisin01
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0
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752
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Last minute election change
(Preview)
BREAKING NEWS!!! Kevin RUDD will NOT be running For election in 2013 due to the Brain tumor found during his recent Colonoscopy.
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HOOK
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0
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574
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Aircraft Hits Four Buildings
(Preview)
...and scares the crap out of everyone.
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GaryKelly
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7
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874
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SENIOR'S BAR...
(Preview)
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Big Gorilla
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5
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778
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