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Completely corked - A True French Incident
(Preview)
True story reported by an English guy who was stopped and asked to give a breathalyser test. The English guy lives near Le Bugue in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was as pis*Ed as a fart...The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks him if he has been drinking, and with a sl...
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gerard gue
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653
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Some More
(Preview)
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Hurls
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0
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646
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Behind the Scenes
(Preview)
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Hurls
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0
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541
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Scottish Baby
(Preview)
A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "Tha...
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Hurls
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0
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630
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Two Dublin Nuns
(Preview)
Two Dublin nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside. "Oi, get your tits out, you penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross". So Siste...
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Hurls
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0
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655
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Kirk's Ear
(Preview)
Why can Captain Kirk hear so well? Because he has three ears: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.
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copper1
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0
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547
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Which Barbie
(Preview)
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...
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copper1
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0
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581
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Hot enough for Ya
(Preview)
A man from The Snowy Mountains left the snowballed streets of Blue Cow for a vacation in Alice Springs. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had w...
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copper1
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0
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510
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The Environmentalist
(Preview)
A woman who was a tree hugging greenie purchased a piece of forest near Collie, WA.There was a large tree in one of the highest parts of her forest. She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attac...
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sarg
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2
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598
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LITTLE GIRLS
(Preview)
A little girl asked her mother "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough". The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" One day the first...
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sarg
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0
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851
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This is hysterical - take the time to read
(Preview)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html
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Lesley F
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1
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778
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GREY NOMADS
(Preview)
Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Cooktown. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come...
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sarg
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0
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666
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How it is; and how we got there
(Preview)
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. But Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Sa...
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Rip and Rosie
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0
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579
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Black Widows
(Preview)
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Rip and Rosie
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1
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771
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Nymphomaniac Convention
(Preview)
Nymphomaniac Convention A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. "Hello&qu...
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Hurls
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2
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694
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Sex Statistics
(Preview)
Global Facts About Sex At Any Given Moment: FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 old person is reading emails. You hang in there, Sunshine ....
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Hurls
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4
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867
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A blonde guy joke!!
(Preview)
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of the building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."The Mexi...
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Rip and Rosie
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2
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796
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First Time
(Preview)
FIRST TIME... It was my first time ever And I'll Never forget I'd do it Again Without a Single regret. The sky was Dark The moon Was high We were all Alone Just she And I. Her hair Was soft Her eyes Were blue I knew just What She wanted To do. Her skin so Soft Her legs so Fine I ran my Fingers Down her Spine.. I di...
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copper1
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1
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716
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This is not Born Free
(Preview)
In 1986, Dazza was on holiday in Kenya after dropping out of Broadmeadows High School. On a pissed hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dazza approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspect...
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D and D
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1
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995
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Good Talker !!
(Preview)
A MAN IN A FLORIDA SUPERMARKET TRIES TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE. THE VERY YOUNG PRODUCE ASSISTANT TELLS HIM THAT THEY SELL ONLY WHOLE HEADS OF LETTUCE . THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER. THE BOY SAYS HE'LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT. WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER, '...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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827
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