Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladiesand Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, rela...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, unt...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...

Santa · Santa

A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...

reglynn · reglynn

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...

reglynn · reglynn

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...

sarg · sarg

Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...

reglynn · reglynn

A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.****This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...

Hurls · Hurls

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...

Hurls · Hurls

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...

Hurls · Hurls

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...

Hurls · Hurls

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...

Hurls · Hurls

Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

Hurls · Hurls

*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...

Jonathan · Jonathan

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM

sarg · sarg

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING; (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladiesand Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, rela...	justcruisin01	1	749	06:16 AM Dec 6, 2013 by sarg
	TURKEY SANDWICHES; (Preview) Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, unt...	justcruisin01	1	636	06:14 AM Dec 6, 2013 by sarg
	TRUE BLUE AUSSIE'S (Preview) The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...	justcruisin01	1	653	05:11 PM Dec 5, 2013 by bill12
	Old timers bar- all drinks 10 cents. (Preview) A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...	Santa	0	654	09:10 PM Dec 4, 2013 by Santa
	New Boots (Preview) A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...	reglynn	0	742	11:45 AM Dec 4, 2013 by reglynn
	Blondes & Frozen Crabs (Preview) A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...	reglynn	0	661	11:38 AM Dec 4, 2013 by reglynn
	DONT YOU lOVE ME ? (Preview) Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...	sarg	2	684	07:23 PM Dec 4, 2013 by mongrel
	A Truckies Breakfast (Preview) A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...	reglynn	1	618	01:28 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg! (Preview) Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg, 'Hello?' 'Hi honey.**This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?' 'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.' After a brief pause, Daddy says, **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...	justcruisin01	1	702	01:25 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	5 OLD LADIES; (Preview) 5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...	justcruisin01	1	659	01:21 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Two Irish Nuns (Preview) Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...	Hurls	1	532	01:19 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	On a Dark & Stormy Night (Preview) Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...	Hurls	3	681	01:17 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	Barter - Aussie Style (Preview) This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two cartons of Victoria Bitter beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station for fuel where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump. Sh...	Hurls	1	623	01:13 PM Dec 4, 2013 by sarg
	IRISH BIRTH CONTROL; (Preview) Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be ther...	justcruisin01	0	811	08:06 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	DOCTOR DOCTOR! (Preview) A doctor in St John's Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his janitor. "I am goin' huntin' tomorrow Buddy and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients and I'll give you fifty bucks." "Yes, si...	justcruisin01	0	621	08:04 PM Dec 3, 2013 by justcruisin01
	Married 4 Times (Preview) The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,&q...	Hurls	0	576	02:48 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	Resetting your password (Preview) Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...	Hurls	0	551	02:47 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	Two Wooodpeckers (Preview) Two Woodpeckers This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. T The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...	Hurls	0	472	02:45 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Hurls
	light up your life .. (Preview) My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk .. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage. -- Edited by Jonathan on Tuesday 3rd of December 2013 08:15:16 PM	Jonathan	0	531	08:09 PM Dec 3, 2013 by Jonathan
	PADDY IS BACK (Preview) Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an...	sarg	0	604	12:06 PM Dec 2, 2013 by sarg
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