Just Joking

Hendo · Hendo

An old bloke living in north Queensland owned a bit of a farm on which was a large pond. It wasn't a bad swimming hole so he planted a couple of fruit trees around it and put in a picnic table. One hot afternoon he decided to go down for a swim and pick some fuit while he was there. Off he went with his five-gallo...

Vic41 · Vic41

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shoutin...

Hendo · Hendo

The latest poll taken by the Federal Government asked whether people who live in Australia think that illegal immigration is a serious problem. 29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem" 71% of respondents answered: "Mafi mushkila shukran"

Hendo · Hendo

DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beau...

Spook · Spook

Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Co...

navynurse · navynurse

Back in the days when I wore pusser's crabs (service issue boots). The skipper lined us up on the quarter deck and told us he had a survey from comand. It's only one question so it won't take long. Swain he says to me when did you last have sex? About 2 weeks ago on leave sir says I. Buffer when did you last hav...

Vic41 · Vic41

IRISH TEXT MESSAGE: Paddy texts his wife: Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get Reincarnated but mustcome back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said: "You obviously haven't beenlistening." ----------------------------------------------------------------...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Jenzarl · Jenzarl

I was wondering how everyone keeps track of their trips ie:- Photos, places visited, camps, good petrol prices, expenses, ect Do you used online resources, exercise books, PC's or apps We are about to head off in a few weeks for our first trip. We starting to get a tad excited Jen Sorry this has gone in...

sarg · sarg

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, A passing soldier assures her that he can help.She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, .....Rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens......."That's so clever," the woman gasp...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere....

Hendo · Hendo

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time." She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all you...

Hendo · Hendo

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow,...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

You Beauty...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...

Vic41 · Vic41

A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so tha...

Vic41 · Vic41

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old wido...

Vic41 · Vic41

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answere...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Old Bloke (Preview) An old bloke living in north Queensland owned a bit of a farm on which was a large pond. It wasn't a bad swimming hole so he planted a couple of fruit trees around it and put in a picnic table. One hot afternoon he decided to go down for a swim and pick some fuit while he was there. Off he went with his five-gallo...	Hendo	1	897	02:48 PM Feb 18, 2014 by sarg
	The Magician and The Parrot... (Preview) A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shoutin...	Vic41	0	701	11:33 AM Feb 18, 2014 by Vic41
	Government Poll (Preview) The latest poll taken by the Federal Government asked whether people who live in Australia think that illegal immigration is a serious problem. 29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem" 71% of respondents answered: "Mafi mushkila shukran"	Hendo	1	700	10:23 AM Feb 18, 2014 by dazren
	Pommie in WA (Preview) DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beau...	Hendo	4	1204	10:08 AM Feb 18, 2014 by Diggings
	Mexitorians (Preview) Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Co...	Spook	0	645	07:12 AM Feb 18, 2014 by Spook
	Government survey (Preview) Back in the days when I wore pusser's crabs (service issue boots). The skipper lined us up on the quarter deck and told us he had a survey from comand. It's only one question so it won't take long. Swain he says to me when did you last have sex? About 2 weeks ago on leave sir says I. Buffer when did you last hav...	navynurse	0	625	12:28 AM Feb 18, 2014 by navynurse
	Irish Text Message (Preview) *IRISH TEXT MESSAGE:* Paddy texts his wife: Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.	Vic41	0	764	09:37 PM Feb 17, 2014 by Vic41
	The Wife... (Preview) I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get Reincarnated but mustcome back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said: "You obviously haven't beenlistening." ----------------------------------------------------------------...	Gunsondeck	0	636	05:54 PM Feb 17, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Neighbours- (Preview)	Gunsondeck	0	629	05:50 PM Feb 17, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	keeping track of the trip (Preview) I was wondering how everyone keeps track of their trips ie:- Photos, places visited, camps, good petrol prices, expenses, ect Do you used online resources, exercise books, PC's or apps We are about to head off in a few weeks for our first trip. We starting to get a tad excited Jen Sorry this has gone in...	Jenzarl	6	798	10:33 PM Feb 16, 2014 by Bunkerbob
	the soldier (Preview) Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, A passing soldier assures her that he can help.She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, .....Rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens......."That's so clever," the woman gasp...	sarg	1	697	05:32 PM Feb 16, 2014 by GaryKelly
	Wife finding... (Preview) The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere....	rockylizard	0	634	09:22 AM Feb 16, 2014 by rockylizard
	Happy & Sad (Preview) A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time." She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all you...	Hendo	0	661	02:57 PM Feb 15, 2014 by Hendo
	Letter to God (Preview) There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow,...	Hendo	4	1475	08:32 PM Feb 14, 2014 by sarg
	The real Clinton story (Preview) Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was...	Gunsondeck	0	704	10:40 AM Feb 14, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	New Victa (Preview) You Beauty...	Gunsondeck	0	633	10:37 AM Feb 14, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	The Boss (Preview) The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...	rockylizard	0	616	09:10 AM Feb 14, 2014 by rockylizard
	Poof ! The Light Goes On & Off ! (Preview) A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so tha...	Vic41	0	649	01:40 PM Feb 13, 2014 by Vic41
	Dear God (Preview) There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old wido...	Vic41	0	608	12:52 PM Feb 13, 2014 by Vic41
	How to get to Heaven from Scotland... (Preview) I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answere...	Vic41	4	736	10:35 PM Feb 12, 2014 by 2foot6
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