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Post Info TOPIC: PUNOGRAPHY


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PUNOGRAPHY


 

·  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

 

·  When chemists die, they barium.

 

·  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is  now a seasoned veteran.

 

·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

 

·  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

 

·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

 

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,  but I'd never met herbivore.

 

·  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

 

·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words .

 

·  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

 

·  This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

 

·  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 

·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

 

·  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

·  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds..

 

·  I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

 

·  Broken pencils are pointless.

 

·  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

 

·  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

 

·  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

·  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

·  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.

   Police say they have nothing to go on.

 

·  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

·  Velcro - what a rip off!

 

·  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

.................................................................................



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Guru

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Clever

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Cheers Peter and Sue

"If I agree with you we'll both be wrong"

No, I'm not busy, I did it right the first time.

Self-powered wheelie walker, soon a power chair (ex. Nomad)



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Where do you dig these up from Vic..People might think I'm whacko but who cares ..Keep them coming mate..Mongrel..

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Alan and Adele

   The Mongrel

    and Delilah

 



Senior Member

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Vic and a lot of farmers in WA are proof that some people have too much time on their hands.

Bob

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Guru

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Yes I probably do spend too much time on the forum Bob, the jokes I don't research they are sent to me by friends Mongrel, some from overseas.

As another GN stated, who needs Facebook, they consider the GN forum as their facebook page, probably a good point, sharing with those with similar interests.....smile



-- Edited by Vic41 on Thursday 6th of March 2014 11:15:48 PM

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Senior Member

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Wasn't worried about the time on the Forum Vic. Was thinking about the time doing the research so you can post things on the Forum. Can't comment on those who allegedly send you stuff. That is hearsay and may be something that is said to take the heat of you.

Until I have proof that these people are spending their time enabling you to spend your time in the way that you spend your time, I cannot accept the argument that 'It wasn't me sir, honest sir, it was them".

Poor form pointing the finger Vic.

Bob

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Guru

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Better re-read your post Bob, you are the one doing the finger pointing and making unfounded accusations. 

Mongrel asked a question as to where I was getting my jokes from and I gave an honest reply, I do not research these jokes, they are ALL sent to me by friends (and I have many), if you can't accept that then too bad, I won't lose any sleep over it.

Without any substance or knowledge you are calling me a liar which I resent strongly and it is uncalled for. 

We do have rules on this forum, perhaps you should read them;

In part the forum rules say......"Posters should refrain from personal attacks. We welcome and encourage healthy discussion and debate but do expect members to show courtesy and respect to one another at all times" in case you are not aware of it.







-- Edited by Vic41 on Saturday 8th of March 2014 02:28:51 AM

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Guru

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Well said Vic..Could not agree with you more.

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Alan and Adele

   The Mongrel

    and Delilah

 



Senior Member

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Keep them coming Vic .. Having a whale of a time here !



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Jonathan     DMax & NewAge Van .. fulltime 

 



Guru

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I enjoy them all Vic. I also get some "puns" sent to me by my friends,

"cos they know I like them. Keep them coming.

Kevin.



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I used to be addicted to soap,  I'm clean now.



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Thanks all, certainly will do biggrin



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JRH


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Vic41 wrote:

Thanks all, certainly will do biggrin


 They are all great mate please keep them coming, they really make my day.



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If I don't get there today, I'll get there tomorrow or the day after.

John & Irona..........Rockingham Western Australia


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JRH wrote:
Vic41 wrote:

Thanks all, certainly will do biggrin


 They are all great mate please keep them coming, they really make my day.


 I look forward to them too



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Bryan



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Hmmmmm......just received an abusive and threatening pm from a certain person, will let Cindy deal with it....no no no



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Guru

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All of us with a sense of humour enjoy jokes Vic, don't let the grumpy 'working class' discourage you. biggrinbiggrin



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Neil & Lynne

Pinjarra 

Western Australia


MY23.5 Ford Wildtrak V6 Dual Cab / 21' Silverline 21-65.3

' 1260w Solar: 400ah Lithium Battery: 2000w Projecta IP2000 Inverter

Diesel Heater: SOG Toilet Kit: 2.5kw Fujitsu Split System A/c

 

 



Chief one feather

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Oh dear me, it's not even 2% Sunday yet biggrinbiggrin

Keep the funny's coming all. I only come in here now and then but enjoy it when I do. Minus the 2% of course biggrin



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Live Life On Your Terms

DOUG  Chief One Feather  (Losing feathers with age)

TUG.......2014 Holden LT Colorado Twin Cab Ute with Canopy

DEN....... 2014 "Chief" Arrow CV  (with some changes)

 



Master (of Mischief)

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Dougwe wrote:

Oh dear me, it's not even 2% Sunday yet biggrinbiggrin

Keep the funny's coming all. I only come in here now and then but enjoy it when I do. Minus the 2% of course biggrin


 looks like we now have 3% biggrin



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Master (of Mischief)

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Vic41 wrote:

Hmmmmm......just received an abusive and threatening pm from a certain person, will let Cindy deal with it....no no no


 can we see the pm, please. biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin



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Chief one feather

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Nope

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Live Life On Your Terms

DOUG  Chief One Feather  (Losing feathers with age)

TUG.......2014 Holden LT Colorado Twin Cab Ute with Canopy

DEN....... 2014 "Chief" Arrow CV  (with some changes)

 



Master (of Mischief)

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Dougwe wrote:

Nope


 spoilsport,  hey I was not asking you anyway mate biggrinbiggrin



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Guru

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_wombat_ wrote:
Vic41 wrote:

Hmmmmm......just received an abusive and threatening pm from a certain person, will let Cindy deal with it....no no no


 can we see the pm, please. biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin


Nope too.....that's why it is called a pm!! (in the fine print for pm's it says "not for Wombats eyes".....biggrin 

It's been dealt with now so best to let the matter rest now please. blankstare



-- Edited by Vic41 on Saturday 8th of March 2014 10:20:44 PM

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Master (of Mischief)

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Sunday is the day of rest so it can rest tomorrow biggrin



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Guru

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_wombat_ wrote:

Sunday is the day of rest so it can rest tomorrow biggrin


Wombat's don't know what day it is so that doesn't apply to you.....wink biggrin 



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Master (of Mischief)

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Vic41 wrote:
_wombat_ wrote:

Sunday is the day of rest so it can rest tomorrow biggrin


Wombat's don't know what day it is so that doesn't apply to you.....wink biggrin 


 then how did I know tomorrow is Sunday? biggrinbiggrin

and no, Mrs W did not tell me. biggrin



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Guru

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Date:

_wombat_ wrote:
Vic41 wrote:
_wombat_ wrote:

Sunday is the day of rest so it can rest tomorrow biggrin


Wombat's don't know what day it is so that doesn't apply to you.....wink biggrin 


 then how did I know tomorrow is Sunday? biggrinbiggrin

and no, Mrs W did not tell me. biggrin


confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse confuse  



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Guru

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Plenty of support Vic..Mongrel..

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Alan and Adele

   The Mongrel

    and Delilah

 



Chief one feather

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Probably cos I said it earlier wombat mate blankstare

I might be nice this week biggrin



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Live Life On Your Terms

DOUG  Chief One Feather  (Losing feathers with age)

TUG.......2014 Holden LT Colorado Twin Cab Ute with Canopy

DEN....... 2014 "Chief" Arrow CV  (with some changes)

 



Master (of Mischief)

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Date:

Dougwe wrote:

Probably cos I said it earlier wombat mate blankstare

I might be nice this week biggrin


 ok prove it, I am having problems with my av it keeps running off to the left, so for you to prove that you are being nice this week please lay down in front of it to stop it running, it needs something very big to stop it. biggrin



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Chief one feather

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Problem sorted mate, I tied a anchor to the back of your van.

See, said I'd be nice this week.

Now, mate, I reckon we leave this thread alone as it is done and hopefully dusted.

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Live Life On Your Terms

DOUG  Chief One Feather  (Losing feathers with age)

TUG.......2014 Holden LT Colorado Twin Cab Ute with Canopy

DEN....... 2014 "Chief" Arrow CV  (with some changes)

 



Master (of Mischief)

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Posts: 10942
Date:

Dougwe wrote:

Problem sorted mate, I tied a anchor to the back of your van.

See, said I'd be nice this week.

Now, mate, I reckon we leave this thread alone as it is done and hopefully dusted.


 thanks MATE.

hey what was this topic about? I lost track when mongrel went off topic biggrin



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