|
Ex-missus
(Preview)
She always used to tell me how great she was at multi-tasking. I said, if that's so , how come she can't have sex & a headache at the same time? Maybe that's why I'm solo.
|
Rob49
|
1
|
711
|
|
|
|
|
Young Joseph!
(Preview)
THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST SHORT JOKE - For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out t...
|
jimbo
|
0
|
649
|
|
|
|
|
An oldie
(Preview)
How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers.
|
Rob49
|
0
|
710
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny Again..
(Preview)
Little Johnny Again A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with tor that ate things. The first little boy said,Alligator." Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said,"Predator." Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." L...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
690
|
|
|
|
|
Idiot Sightings....Don't got to Qld Wombat !!!
(Preview)
AUSTRALIAN IDIOT SIGHTINGS. IDIOT SIGHTING 1: I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny
(Preview)
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.&quo...
|
Hendo
|
0
|
561
|
|
|
|
|
Ha ha...
(Preview)
Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane! Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
7
|
1038
|
|
|
|
|
Ten Inches....
(Preview)
Ten inches... The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that!" &qu...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
747
|
|
|
|
|
Brinquedo indiano
(Preview)
Kids plaything! Brinquedo indiano
|
Gunsondeck
|
1
|
561
|
|
|
|
|
Hospital Stay
(Preview)
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was embarrass...
|
Rob49
|
2
|
745
|
|
|
|
|
Just a couple
(Preview)
The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was?---Sir Cumference, he acquired his size from too much Pi. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects. ...
|
Rob49
|
0
|
734
|
|
|
|
|
Remember Abbot & Costello and who's on first?
(Preview)
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' mi...
|
Rob49
|
0
|
893
|
|
|
|
|
Text Messaging
(Preview)
The following text message appeared on a man's iPhone from his next-door neighbour: "I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer li...
|
Hendo
|
0
|
499
|
|
|
|
|
Church Painting
(Preview)
There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the o...
|
Maggie and Alex
|
1
|
651
|
|
|
|
|
The Medium
(Preview)
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman'...
|
Happy Camper
|
0
|
588
|
|
|
|
|
Fanny who??
(Preview)
Hysterical
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmwGFX5pgXw
|
Lesley F
|
3
|
734
|
|
|
|
|
Man Rules
(Preview)
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.) ... WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE THESE ARE OUR RULES! PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE! 1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. 1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A...
|
Brenda and Alan
|
0
|
829
|
|
|
|
|
Just Smaller
(Preview)
Mum and Dad have a 13 year old daughter ,and mum thinks its time dad tells her about sex so dad takes her into the living room and sits her down and tell her about the birds and the bees when he was finished he asked if there was any questions, Yes she wanted to know what a penis was, so being a liberated male h...
|
Cowboy7307
|
0
|
658
|
|
|
|
|
Weekly Roundup!!
(Preview)
MONDAYThe mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wilful and any attempt to stop the girl would...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
957
|
|
|
|
|
Where are your glasses
(Preview)
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the camp and drinking beer is not a good thing, I said. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinkin...
|
rosco532
|
0
|
809
|
|
|
