Just Joking

sarg · sarg

A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...

Vic41 · Vic41

You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...

Vic41 · Vic41

The floods....

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

The Makeover http://www.youtube.com/embed/tiAZ01dkcdc?feature=player_embedded

Vic41 · Vic41

The Aisle, the Altar, the Hymn Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. ...

Vic41 · Vic41

A frog goes into a bank andapproaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,...

Rob49 · Rob49

She always used to tell me how great she was at multi-tasking. I said, if that's so , how come she can't have sex & a headache at the same time? Maybe that's why I'm solo.

jimbo · jimbo

THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST SHORT JOKE - For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out t...

Rob49 · Rob49

How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers.

Vic41 · Vic41

Little Johnny Again A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with tor that ate things. The first little boy said,Alligator." Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said,"Predator." Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." L...

Vic41 · Vic41

AUSTRALIAN IDIOT SIGHTINGS. IDIOT SIGHTING 1: I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25...

Hendo · Hendo

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.&quo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane! Aussie Paul.

Vic41 · Vic41

Ten inches... The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that!" &qu...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Kids plaything! Brinquedo indiano

Rob49 · Rob49

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was embarrass...

Rob49 · Rob49

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was?---Sir Cumference, he acquired his size from too much Pi. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects. ...

Rob49 · Rob49

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' mi...

Hendo · Hendo

The following text message appeared on a man's iPhone from his next-door neighbour: "I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer li...

Maggie and Alex · Maggie and Alex

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Bears (Preview) A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour. The bear remover arrived, and got out...	sarg	1	538	02:14 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Woolly
	Perth In Summer... (Preview) You know you're in a Perth summer when:1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. 2. Hot water comes out of both taps. 3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. 4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. 5. You discover that i...	Vic41	0	581	12:47 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Vic41
	London Flooding. (Preview) The floods....	Vic41	0	558	12:37 PM Feb 28, 2014 by Vic41
	The Makeover (Preview) The Makeover http://www.youtube.com/embed/tiAZ01dkcdc?feature=player_embedded	Gunsondeck	1	920	07:32 PM Feb 27, 2014 by astroid60
	The Aisle, The Alter, The Hymn...... (Preview) The Aisle, the Altar, the Hymn Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. ...	Vic41	0	772	06:03 PM Feb 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Frog Loan..... (Preview) A frog goes into a bank andapproaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,...	Vic41	0	727	05:10 PM Feb 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Ex-missus (Preview) She always used to tell me how great she was at multi-tasking. I said, if that's so , how come she can't have sex & a headache at the same time? Maybe that's why I'm solo.	Rob49	1	680	09:50 AM Feb 27, 2014 by sarg
	Young Joseph! (Preview) THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST SHORT JOKE - For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out t...	jimbo	0	618	08:55 AM Feb 27, 2014 by jimbo
	An oldie (Preview) How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers.	Rob49	0	684	06:35 PM Feb 26, 2014 by Rob49
	Little Johnny Again.. (Preview) Little Johnny Again A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with tor that ate things. The first little boy said,Alligator." Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said,"Predator." Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." L...	Vic41	0	661	05:07 PM Feb 26, 2014 by Vic41
	Idiot Sightings....Don't got to Qld Wombat !!! (Preview) AUSTRALIAN IDIOT SIGHTINGS. IDIOT SIGHTING 1: I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25...	Vic41	0	698	05:04 PM Feb 26, 2014 by Vic41
	Little Johnny (Preview) One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.&quo...	Hendo	0	525	04:56 PM Feb 26, 2014 by Hendo
	Ha ha... (Preview) Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane! Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	7	1005	11:13 PM Feb 25, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Ten Inches.... (Preview) *Ten inches...* The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that!" &qu...	Vic41	0	720	09:20 PM Feb 25, 2014 by Vic41
	Brinquedo indiano (Preview) Kids plaything! Brinquedo indiano	Gunsondeck	1	539	07:52 PM Feb 25, 2014 by sucastja
	Hospital Stay (Preview) An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was embarrass...	Rob49	2	706	08:17 AM Feb 25, 2014 by mongrel
	Just a couple (Preview) The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was?---Sir Cumference, he acquired his size from too much Pi. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects. ...	Rob49	0	701	06:15 PM Feb 24, 2014 by Rob49
	Remember Abbot & Costello and who's on first? (Preview) You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' mi...	Rob49	0	852	05:48 PM Feb 24, 2014 by Rob49
	Text Messaging (Preview) The following text message appeared on a man's iPhone from his next-door neighbour: "I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer li...	Hendo	0	458	03:51 PM Feb 24, 2014 by Hendo
	Church Painting (Preview) There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the o...	Maggie and Alex	1	614	12:19 PM Feb 24, 2014 by grahos
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