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Dog's Tale.....
(Preview)
A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around theblock?'Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.''What does that mean?' asked the child.'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'The little girl goes out to the garage and says,'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...
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Vic41
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0
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689
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Two different doctors
(Preview)
Two patients limped into two different surgeries and saw two different doctors. Both patients required hip replacement. Patient one is examined straight away, sent off for an X ray within the hour and is booked in for surgery the following week. Patient two waits three weeks for an appointment with...
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Baggie
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0
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721
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Missing Wife...
(Preview)
A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife: Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet. Inspector: What is her height ? Husband: I never checked. Inspector: Slim or healthy ?. Husband: Not slim , she can be healthy. Inspec...
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Vic41
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0
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762
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Nails
(Preview)
Two little old ladies were discussing their husbands over tea. "I wish George would stop biting his nails," said one. "He makes me terribly nervous." "My Bob used to do the same thing," the other woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?&...
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rockylizard
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0
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583
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Lexophiles.....
(Preview)
"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year. This year...
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Vic41
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0
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804
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Robbery
(Preview)
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.Just as he pulled...
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TronicSavvyJohn
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0
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650
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Rural Australian Computer Terminology
(Preview)
RuralAustralian ComputerTerminology A little bit of Aussie Kulcha..... LOGON: Adding wood to make thebarbie hotter. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. DOWN...
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Hurls
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0
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620
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NEWS FLASH - I have three seats available
(Preview)
NEWS FLASH The Australian Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of Darwin today.This placed the Navy in a very awkward position, as the boat was not heading to , but away from Australia towards Indonesia.Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with Aussies who were all se...
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TronicSavvyJohn
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0
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679
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Donald Duck & Daisy
(Preview)
Donald Duck & Daisy Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condo...
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Hurls
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0
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648
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Lost Wife in the shop
(Preview)
I was in Home Depot the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I...
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TronicSavvyJohn
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0
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541
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THE BLIND COWBOY;;
(Preview)
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool & orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky...
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justcruisin01
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0
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605
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WINDOW REPLACEMENTS;;
(Preview)
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Helloooo ... just because I'm blonde d...
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justcruisin01
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0
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787
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The Church Organist
(Preview)
A CHURCH STORY A small church had a very attractive big busted organist, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be d...
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Hurls
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0
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611
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FACTS;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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1
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708
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Wife's new Panties
(Preview)
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ....... enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you weari...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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732
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Fill the Jar
(Preview)
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was a...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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621
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Love this woman's medicinal logic......
(Preview)
For better digestion I drink beer,in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine, in the case of low blood pressure I drink red winein the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch, and when I have a cold I drink schnapps. Do you ever drink water? Ive never been that sick!
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Big Gorilla
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0
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833
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Opportunistic Counselling....(Modified)
(Preview)
A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off. A homeless drunk Stopped and mumbled, "If you're about to kill yourself, how about a shag before you go?" The woman was angry and said, "No! Rack off you filthy old basket." The tramp turne...
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Vic41
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0
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692
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Priorities
(Preview)
It's important to have priorities in life.
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nomadic1
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4
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663
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DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?
(Preview)
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHENHE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!! HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN II EXPER...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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807
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