Just Joking

reglynn · reglynn

1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? ...

reglynn · reglynn

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...

Russue · Russue

Some of us may have seen this before but it always gives me a good chuckle!HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't use...

yeoeleven · yeoeleven

reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,Ford issued a press release stating: If...

reglynn · reglynn

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls.There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after...

Baggie · Baggie

Herbie & Harry were good mates having a game of golf when they got stuck behind these two women who were spending most of their time talking & stuffing about rather than play golf. This went on hole after hole. Herbie said to Harry, "Why don't you go up to them & ask if we can play through...

reglynn · reglynn

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. S...

JRH · JRH

Why did the Swan Ale? Because the Emu Bitter.

Lesley F · Lesley F

It's a long read - but highly amusing - I wish I thought of it!!! Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my...

Felix · Felix

What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. I...

Lesley F · Lesley F

Lesley F · Lesley F

I love this mans energy - he's absolutely gorgeous!! I apologize if I've posted this previously. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8

Lesley F · Lesley F

The Politically Correct Christmas PartyMEMO: FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 01 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill...

SLUG · SLUG

Arhhhh da Irish> > I found myself in a pub in Cork. > > A group of American tourists came in. > > One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your > > great drinkers. > > I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 > >...

Hurls · Hurls

How to get to Heaven from Ireland : A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher. I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church,...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Due to considerable reader demand here are some more Tommy Cooper one liners.Yes, he was brilliant!! 1. Two blondes walk into a building ........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any. 4. My friend drowne...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired gentleman in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. the circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion.He ate my last tamer so y...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An older couple arise early on their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man sits at the kitchen table while his beloved wife fixes breakfast. Before heating the frying pan she picks it up and brings it down hard on the old man's head...knocking him out of his chair. Groggily, he picks himself up and ask...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Hed never been to church in his life.After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said: Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?Murphy said: I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I mispla...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.He has no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woma...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS (Preview) 1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? ...	reglynn	0	1145	10:19 PM Dec 15, 2014 by reglynn
	When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? (Preview) There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...	reglynn	0	961	09:52 PM Dec 14, 2014 by reglynn
	How to start a Saturday ....... with a good laugh (Preview) Some of us may have seen this before but it always gives me a good chuckle!HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't use...	Russue	0	1285	03:27 PM Dec 13, 2014 by Russue
	Ford vs Microsoft (Preview) reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,Ford issued a press release stating: If...	yeoeleven	0	1029	05:52 AM Dec 13, 2014 by yeoeleven
	Just thought you'd like to know.. (Preview) Medical distinction between Guts and Balls.There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after...	reglynn	0	985	08:18 AM Dec 12, 2014 by reglynn
	More on golf. (Preview) Herbie & Harry were good mates having a game of golf when they got stuck behind these two women who were spending most of their time talking & stuffing about rather than play golf. This went on hole after hole. Herbie said to Harry, "Why don't you go up to them & ask if we can play through...	Baggie	0	982	05:49 PM Dec 11, 2014 by Baggie
	To start the day (Preview) Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden? POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. S...	reglynn	0	918	12:36 PM Dec 11, 2014 by reglynn
	Beer joke (Preview) Why did the Swan Ale? Because the Emu Bitter.	JRH	8	1269	04:29 PM Dec 7, 2014 by Ontos45
	a letter to the bank manager (Preview) It's a long read - but highly amusing - I wish I thought of it!!! Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my...	Lesley F	1	1017	03:43 PM Dec 6, 2014 by bill12
	price of stupidity (Preview) What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. I...	Felix	1	1327	12:45 AM Dec 6, 2014 by D and D
	which house? (Preview)	Lesley F	0	1082	07:10 PM Dec 5, 2014 by Lesley F
	gay referee?? (Preview) I love this mans energy - he's absolutely gorgeous!! I apologize if I've posted this previously. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8	Lesley F	0	1039	07:05 PM Dec 5, 2014 by Lesley F
	the politically correct xmas party (Preview) The Politically Correct Christmas PartyMEMO: FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 01 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill...	Lesley F	1	1323	10:10 PM Dec 3, 2014 by rockylizard
	The irish again (Preview) Arhhhh da Irish> > I found myself in a pub in Cork. > > A group of American tourists came in. > > One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your > > great drinkers. > > I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 > >...	SLUG	0	925	08:29 PM Dec 3, 2014 by SLUG
	How to Get to Heaven (Preview) How to get to Heaven from Ireland : A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher. I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church,...	Hurls	0	925	05:26 PM Dec 3, 2014 by Hurls
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) Due to considerable reader demand here are some more Tommy Cooper one liners.Yes, he was brilliant!! 1. Two blondes walk into a building ........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any. 4. My friend drowne...	aussie_paul	0	1104	08:11 PM Nov 30, 2014 by aussie_paul
	The older gentleman...... (Preview) A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired gentleman in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. the circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion.He ate my last tamer so y...	aussie_paul	0	1125	12:50 PM Nov 28, 2014 by aussie_paul
	The 50th Anniversary Starts Bad,..... (Preview) An older couple arise early on their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man sits at the kitchen table while his beloved wife fixes breakfast. Before heating the frying pan she picks it up and brings it down hard on the old man's head...knocking him out of his chair. Groggily, he picks himself up and ask...	aussie_paul	0	794	10:42 PM Nov 27, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday (Preview) Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Hed never been to church in his life.After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said: Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?Murphy said: I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I mispla...	aussie_paul	0	1094	01:12 PM Nov 27, 2014 by aussie_paul
	SCOTTISH COMPASSION............ (Preview) A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.He has no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woma...	aussie_paul	0	876	01:03 PM Nov 27, 2014 by aussie_paul
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