A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.

He has no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England, Wales,  and Scotland, 
Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man.
 
The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman asked, "'ave ya ever been f****d  laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said,  "No".
 
She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."