Just Joking

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man calls home to his wife and says,"Honey I have been asked to fly up to Cairns with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for the long weekend and you will appreciate this is a good opportunity for me to get 'that' promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack eno...

June · June

Can I buy you a drink? (let's hop in the sack) Let's just be friends. (Now that we have been to bed what else is there) Call me at the office. I live there. (I'm married) I miss you. (I have no more clean clothes. Come over and do the laundry) I'm divorcing my wife so I can marry you. (When Hell freezes over) I...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

One night a young bloke takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, he of course starts feeling a little horny, With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and broadly smiling he says to her, "Honey, would you have 'rumpy pump...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of Russian voters went to visit a school in Moscow to have a human chat with the pupils/kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the Russian people. At the end of his talk, there is a section for questions, and li...

Lesley F · Lesley F

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/the-puddles-pity-party-youtube-7-foot-singing-clown-hit-brings-his-charact...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

As you know it was St. Patrick's Day earlier this week, and I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you also know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities, often on the way home after a "social session' with family or friends...

JET · JET

Cadpete · Cadpete

One I found on another site - A secondary school teacher was arrested today at Melbourne international airport as he attempted to board an international flight while in possesstion of a ruler, a protractorm a compass, slide rule and a calculator. At a press conference a spokesman for the Federal P...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active! 1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child 's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butchery shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he w...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b28_wgzR34YDick Tingeler - Bradly Walsh Can't stop Laughing

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyItREx0VbQ I've put this in previously, but it's hysterical, worth a second look. A clip from THE CHASE where the host asks a question about a German athlete named: Fanny Chmelar.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Dave had proposed to Megan and been accepted. But, added Megan, before we get married I must tell you something dreadful about my past life.No, said Dave, I wont hear of it. You can tell me after were married.After they were married and had set off for their honeymoon in Byron Bay, Megan again brought u...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

1. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just join a free camp Happy Hour, and by the time I eventually leave .....I look just fine!....... 2. How many days in a Grey Nomads' week? Six Saturdays and one Sunday. 3. What do Grey Nomads' do all week? Monday to Friday - Nothing...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

In Church on Sunday, I heard a sweet elderly lady, in the pew next to me, saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just had to share it with you: "Dear Lord", the past couple of years have been very tough for me. You have taken- My favourite actor - James Garner, My favourite actres...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A young lady started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell/handle condoms to the public... The owner was going away on holidays for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the Chemist shop on her own. She felt compelled to confide in him her worries abou...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Last week Ethel ,<sheesh I hope we don't have an Ethel here? forgive me if we do please>....anyways she checked into a Motel on her 70th Birthday as she was a tad lonely and reflective.. She thought, I'll call one of those "stud" men I see advertised in phone books and on late SBS for E...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

An elderly couple were in church one Sunday when halfway through the seR ice the wife penned a note to her husband " I just let off a silent fart what do you think I should do " to which he writes back " put a new battery in your hearing aid "

KFT · KFT

FIVE RIDDLES. THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS . 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fi...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

1, I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older....Then it dawned on me They were cramming for their finals.. 2. My brother tell me he wants a real fun funeral, so the invite is going to say "Hawaiian themed" But he's only going to send that invite to...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Valentines DayJust booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; shes lousy at snooker... Low BatteryA man saved his girlfriends phone number on his mobile as Low Battery. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the char...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Outsmart a woman......Are you kidding?..... (Preview) A man calls home to his wife and says,"Honey I have been asked to fly up to Cairns with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for the long weekend and you will appreciate this is a good opportunity for me to get 'that' promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack eno...	Goldfinger	0	971	10:47 PM Mar 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Man Talk (Translated) (Preview) Can I buy you a drink? (let's hop in the sack) Let's just be friends. (Now that we have been to bed what else is there) Call me at the office. I live there. (I'm married) I miss you. (I have no more clean clothes. Come over and do the laundry) I'm divorcing my wife so I can marry you. (When Hell freezes over) I...	June	3	964	06:44 PM Mar 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	'Good Night Kiss'........ (Preview) One night a young bloke takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, he of course starts feeling a little horny, With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and broadly smiling he says to her, "Honey, would you have 'rumpy pump...	Goldfinger	0	819	03:20 PM Mar 24, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Vladimir Putin....... (Preview) Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of Russian voters went to visit a school in Moscow to have a human chat with the pupils/kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the Russian people. At the end of his talk, there is a section for questions, and li...	Goldfinger	2	1018	01:03 PM Mar 24, 2015 by Goldfinger
	puddles pity party - am I ever gunna see your face again (Preview) http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/the-puddles-pity-party-youtube-7-foot-singing-clown-hit-brings-his-charact...	Lesley F	0	1043	10:20 PM Mar 23, 2015 by Lesley F
	St. Patrick's Day Personal Celebrations..... (Preview) As you know it was St. Patrick's Day earlier this week, and I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you also know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities, often on the way home after a "social session' with family or friends...	Goldfinger	1	815	09:36 PM Mar 23, 2015 by ballast2
	50 Shades of Grey (Preview)	JET	1	637	07:53 PM Mar 23, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Who's good at maths (Preview) One I found on another site - A secondary school teacher was arrested today at Melbourne international airport as he attempted to board an international flight while in possesstion of a ruler, a protractorm a compass, slide rule and a calculator. At a press conference a spokesman for the Federal P...	Cadpete	4	898	06:02 PM Mar 23, 2015 by Cadpete
	A collection of .... (Preview) *Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active!* 1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child 's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butchery shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he w...	Woody n Sue	0	1001	06:03 PM Mar 22, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	The Chase - Now we have a dick tingeler (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b28_wgzR34YDick Tingeler - Bradly Walsh Can't stop Laughing	Lesley F	0	445	09:06 PM Mar 21, 2015 by Lesley F
	The Chase - a question about athlete named: Fanny Chmelar!!!!! (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyItREx0VbQ I've put this in previously, but it's hysterical, worth a second look. A clip from THE CHASE where the host asks a question about a German athlete named: Fanny Chmelar.	Lesley F	3	1554	04:43 PM Mar 21, 2015 by mongrel
	The dreadful secret.... (Preview) Dave had proposed to Megan and been accepted. But, added Megan, before we get married I must tell you something dreadful about my past life.No, said Dave, I wont hear of it. You can tell me after were married.After they were married and had set off for their honeymoon in Byron Bay, Megan again brought u...	aussie_paul	0	837	03:55 PM Mar 21, 2015 by aussie_paul
	...and a few more profound observations..... (Preview) 1. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just join a free camp Happy Hour, and by the time I eventually leave .....I look just fine!....... 2. How many days in a Grey Nomads' week? Six Saturdays and one Sunday. 3. What do Grey Nomads' do all week? Monday to Friday - Nothing...	Goldfinger	1	1229	02:06 PM Mar 21, 2015 by spida
	Prayers... (Preview) In Church on Sunday, I heard a sweet elderly lady, in the pew next to me, saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just had to share it with you: "Dear Lord", the past couple of years have been very tough for me. You have taken- My favourite actor - James Garner, My favourite actres...	Goldfinger	0	837	09:42 PM Mar 19, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A young lady started working in the village Chemist Shop....... (Preview) A young lady started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell/handle condoms to the public... The owner was going away on holidays for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the Chemist shop on her own. She felt compelled to confide in him her worries abou...	Goldfinger	0	769	09:31 PM Mar 19, 2015 by Goldfinger
	She wants it hot......and she wants it NOW!..... (Preview) Last week Ethel ,<sheesh I hope we don't have an Ethel here? forgive me if we do please>....anyways she checked into a Motel on her 70th Birthday as she was a tad lonely and reflective.. She thought, I'll call one of those "stud" men I see advertised in phone books and on late SBS for E...	Goldfinger	0	1117	05:29 PM Mar 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A silent one (Preview) An elderly couple were in church one Sunday when halfway through the seR ice the wife penned a note to her husband " I just let off a silent fart what do you think I should do " to which he writes back " put a new battery in your hearing aid "	Woody n Sue	1	929	08:48 PM Mar 17, 2015 by Baggie
	Five really good Riddles-Love the last one (Preview) FIVE RIDDLES. THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS . 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fi...	KFT	2	1140	03:10 PM Mar 15, 2015 by rockylizard
	...and a few more jokes for no reason..... (Preview) 1, I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older....Then it dawned on me They were cramming for their finals.. 2. My brother tell me he wants a real fun funeral, so the invite is going to say "Hawaiian themed" But he's only going to send that invite to...	Goldfinger	1	1496	12:30 AM Mar 15, 2015 by madaboutled
	Jokes.. (Preview) Valentines DayJust booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; shes lousy at snooker... Low BatteryA man saved his girlfriends phone number on his mobile as Low Battery. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the char...	aussie_paul	1	1092	04:13 PM Mar 14, 2015 by grahos
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