|
the face lift
(Preview)
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
976
|
|
|
|
|
parents going at it
(Preview)
One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. What are you doing, Mommy? The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. Well, sweetie, som...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
683
|
|
|
|
|
therapy session
(Preview)
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom....
|
SLUG
|
0
|
575
|
|
|
|
|
little billie
(Preview)
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?&quo...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
631
|
|
|
|
|
the leper
(Preview)
What did the leper say to the prostitute?"Keep the tip"
|
SLUG
|
0
|
532
|
|
|
|
|
the pirate
(Preview)
A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He asks for some rum. The bartender says, "Yes, but sir, do you realize you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate says, "Arr! It's driving me nuts!"
|
SLUG
|
0
|
610
|
|
|
|
|
sexy halloween attire
(Preview)
|
HOOK
|
0
|
1249
|
|
|
|
|
Aussie Burqa
(Preview)
|
The Doo crew
|
0
|
675
|
|
|
|
|
Escape
(Preview)
|
The Doo crew
|
1
|
606
|
|
|
|
|
Elmo
(Preview)
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's do...
|
reglynn
|
2
|
601
|
|
|
|
|
Horseback Riding....
(Preview)
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action.. as it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for t...
|
Vic41
|
1
|
879
|
|
|
|
|
50 Shades in REVERSE
(Preview)
He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth...in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was ge...
|
reglynn
|
0
|
971
|
|
|
|
|
Why Ethel changed motels
(Preview)
Why Ethel Changed Motels Last week, Ethel checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calli...
|
Joe50
|
0
|
801
|
|
|
|
|
Fable Of The Porcupine....
(Preview)
Fable of the Porcupine It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After a w...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
695
|
|
|
|
|
Perscription;;
(Preview)
DIVORCE vs. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husba...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
747
|
|
|
|
|
SENIORS;;
(Preview)
Gotta love us seniors During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
789
|
|
|
|
|
Education...
(Preview)
I went to school and was told: PUSSY meant a CAT SEX meant GENDER BITCH was a FEMALE DOG DICK was a NAME BANG was a SOUND RUBBER was an ERASER ASS was an ANIMAL SCREW was just a TOOL HEAD meant a part of BODY BALLS meant a round TOY NUTS meant DRYFRUIT 69 was just a NUMBER... Then I got friends like you and all my Ed...
|
Vic41
|
1
|
877
|
|
|
|
|
Haircut....
(Preview)
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barbers chair, eating a muffin while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get boobs...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
746
|
|
|
|
|
Little jonny
(Preview)
Jonny's little experimentA teacher at an infant school is doing a science lesson and asks all the children to perform an experiment of their own choosing. After the children have been busy for a few minutes, she gets to the desk of little Johnny. Johnny has a spider on his desk and she asks what he was doi...
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
896
|
|
|
|
|
Who Invented Sex?
(Preview)
Who Invented Sex?. A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture. Over coffee, the Greek says "Well, we built the Parthenon." The Italian replies "We built the Coliseum."The Greek retorts "We Greeks gave bi...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
1289
|
|
|
