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CONQUER THE SCOTS...
(Preview)
Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England) comes to Scotland to conquer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield, there suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill, a short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt. 'Hammer O the Scots?' yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill...
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Happy Camper
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1
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784
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Sparky (Electrician) Goes To Heaven....
(Preview)
A Sparky ('Electrician' Royalty of all Trades) dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand. Jus...
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Vic41
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2
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984
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The Flasher
(Preview)
Three old women sitting on a park bench, when a flasher walked up to them and did his thing, Two of the women had a stroke, The third couldn't reach Well i thought it was funny
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Cowboy7307
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1
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767
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A major International company
(Preview)
A major International company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world. In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer w...
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Yendorane
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2
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761
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Bar Joke
(Preview)
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, an Australian, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?".
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rockylizard
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1
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738
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Are U Ready for the Old Age Home
(Preview)
Gotta love us seniors During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."...
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Redlander
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5
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1120
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New word for seniors
(Preview)
I love this new word ... I even like pronouncing it!
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Joe50
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1
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737
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Oh No!!
(Preview)
A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to toe. The doctor comes in "Ah I see you have woken up. Now you wont remember but you were in a horrible car accident. You are going to be O.K but your penis was severed and we couldn't find it." The man groans but the doctor goes on."You have $90...
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Collo
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3
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840
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Would this be a job for a grey nomad
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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792
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A touching moment...
(Preview)
This letter was sent to the Broken Hill High School Principal's office in Broken Hill, outback Australia after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit t...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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1004
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GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR
(Preview)
A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. She woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her h...
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Yendorane
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0
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769
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Divorce vs Murder (oldie but a goodie)
(Preview)
DIVORCE VS. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pha...
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Vic41
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0
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692
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Rolf......
(Preview)
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Vic41
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3
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728
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Lucky to miss the accident
(Preview)
Two old blokes were on a tractor they drove across the paddock and without looking continued straight out onto the highway. A young man in a Porsche was doing about 200 Kmh down the highway he came around the bend and saw the tractor , swerved left to miss it, crashed through the paddock fence did a Hugh ci...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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691
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$64,000 question
(Preview)
It was the final round of the $64,000 quiz and only three constants were left an Englishman, a Texan and an Australian. the question is , finish this song Title and spell the answer " Old McDonald had a ??? the Englishman goes first and says " Estate "" E-S-T-A-T-E" sorry wro...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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652
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Blondes
(Preview)
A blonde read in a magazine that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. ......."There are 5 people in my family," she said to herself. "I wonder which one of them it is.?..it could be my mum or dad.....or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chi--Lim....but I'm pretty...
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robmac
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0
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798
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The Squeezer
(Preview)
The bar patrons were so sure that their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many p...
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Vic41
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2
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720
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Walking into the bar
(Preview)
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees...
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Yendorane
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3
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756
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Misunderstandings
(Preview)
The Doctor used to drop into his "club"most nights to have his favorite ****tail, an almond daquiri.......
One night Dick the bartender found he was out of almonds, so he added some crushed hickory nuts instead
The doctor took one sip and beckoned to the barman. "Is this an almon...
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robmac
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1
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664
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sunbather
(Preview)
A man is sun baking in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a cup of cold milk. 'Good heavens', she remarks, 'I always wondered how you guys re-loaded those thin...
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Yendorane
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0
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636
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