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Tech Support for Seniors (…be sure to read the entire list!!)
(Preview)
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? **************************** Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Eve...
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Dunmowin
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886
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THE KEY;;
(Preview)
A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wan...
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justcruisin01
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2
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842
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dreams
(Preview)
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy...
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SLUG
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575
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My lovely hotel...
(Preview)
This is a great poem.... Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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691
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Had me fooled....
(Preview)
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.Rear toilet? He suggests.Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and sli...
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Delta18
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0
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728
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the face lift
(Preview)
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,...
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SLUG
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935
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parents going at it
(Preview)
One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. What are you doing, Mommy? The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. Well, sweetie, som...
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SLUG
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650
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therapy session
(Preview)
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom....
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SLUG
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534
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little billie
(Preview)
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?&quo...
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SLUG
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590
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the leper
(Preview)
What did the leper say to the prostitute?"Keep the tip"
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SLUG
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499
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the pirate
(Preview)
A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He asks for some rum. The bartender says, "Yes, but sir, do you realize you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate says, "Arr! It's driving me nuts!"
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SLUG
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569
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sexy halloween attire
(Preview)
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HOOK
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1206
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Aussie Burqa
(Preview)
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The Doo crew
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0
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636
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Escape
(Preview)
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The Doo crew
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1
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575
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Elmo
(Preview)
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's do...
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reglynn
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2
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562
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Horseback Riding....
(Preview)
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action.. as it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for t...
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Vic41
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1
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839
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50 Shades in REVERSE
(Preview)
He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth...in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was ge...
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reglynn
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935
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Why Ethel changed motels
(Preview)
Why Ethel Changed Motels Last week, Ethel checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calli...
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Joe50
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760
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Fable Of The Porcupine....
(Preview)
Fable of the Porcupine It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After a w...
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Vic41
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654
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Perscription;;
(Preview)
DIVORCE vs. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husba...
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justcruisin01
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