Just Joking

dING · dING

ManYana Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on UK television with British TV host Anne Diamond. He used the word "manyana" (pronounced "man -yana"). Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means: "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow; Maybe the nex...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didnt tell her husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches and wen...

Delta18 · Delta18

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big. What kind of car you get will depend on your answer."...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Palebushman · Palebushman

His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia ---------------------...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Infinite loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that reflects on the first action etc A company CEO tells his secretary: "Next week we're going to a convention abroad and spend some quality...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

reglynn · reglynn

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A doctor in Dublin, feeling overworked wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"."Yes, sir!" answers Murph...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A bloke was sent to prison and on the first day said to his cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied, "Well the judge did give you 6 years." "Yeah I know, but I think the wife will break me out, she's never let me finish a f***g sentence before." Aussie Paul.

HOOK · HOOK

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. I think its raining, says the man. No its snowing, says the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? Hes always right Exclaims the man. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? Definitely ra...

Loffty · Loffty

D'oh :)

D and D · D and D

http://youtu.be/4QWittRwnY8

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Merry Christmas! With Christmas close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with famil...

reglynn · reglynn

While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for about...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...

Cadpete · Cadpete

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ManYana (Preview) ManYana Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on UK television with British TV host Anne Diamond. He used the word "manyana" (pronounced "man -yana"). Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means: "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow; Maybe the nex...	dING	0	1532	08:08 AM Jan 8, 2015 by dING
	The gardener.. (Preview) A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didnt tell her husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches and wen...	aussie_paul	0	1215	11:16 PM Jan 6, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Three guys in Heaven (Preview) Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big. What kind of car you get will depend on your answer."...	Delta18	0	1134	01:41 PM Jan 6, 2015 by Delta18
	This will put your mind at rest (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	1020	12:58 PM Jan 5, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	THE FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as GO) (Preview) His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia ---------------------...	Palebushman	1	974	08:00 AM Jan 5, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Haircut... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1003	10:38 PM Jan 4, 2015 by aussie_paul
	I met an older woman at a bar last night..... (Preview) I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...	aussie_paul	0	1156	10:36 PM Jan 4, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Infinite Loop (Preview) *Infinite loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that reflects on the first action etc* A company CEO tells his secretary: "Next week we're going to a convention abroad and spend some quality...	Wombat 280	1	962	07:37 PM Jan 3, 2015 by grahos
	My brain... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	847	07:34 PM Jan 3, 2015 by grahos
	The Secret of Senior Sex (Preview) This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How...	reglynn	1	1539	10:41 PM Jan 2, 2015 by rosa
	The sentiments of us oldies.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	943	02:34 PM Jan 1, 2015 by aussie_paul
	A doctor in Dublin......... (Preview) A doctor in Dublin, feeling overworked wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"."Yes, sir!" answers Murph...	aussie_paul	0	977	06:56 PM Dec 30, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Prison break... (Preview) A bloke was sent to prison and on the first day said to his cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied, "Well the judge did give you 6 years." "Yeah I know, but I think the wife will break me out, she's never let me finish a f***g sentence before." Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1116	09:41 PM Dec 29, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Raining at Christmas (Preview) A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. I think its raining, says the man. No its snowing, says the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? Hes always right Exclaims the man. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? Definitely ra...	HOOK	2	994	10:20 PM Dec 26, 2014 by sarg
	Need an opinion? (Preview) D'oh :)	Loffty	0	772	09:00 PM Dec 26, 2014 by Loffty
	Christmas for the Kids (Preview) http://youtu.be/4QWittRwnY8	D and D	0	886	10:12 PM Dec 24, 2014 by D and D
	Drinking and driving... (Preview) Merry Christmas! With Christmas close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with famil...	aussie_paul	0	997	11:18 AM Dec 24, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Senior Road Trip (Preview) While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for about...	reglynn	3	1233	03:30 PM Dec 23, 2014 by reglynn
	Politically correct seasonal message.... (Preview) Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...	aussie_paul	0	1258	08:42 PM Dec 21, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Traffic Warden (Preview) As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"	Cadpete	0	708	07:30 PM Dec 21, 2014 by Cadpete
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