Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Infinite loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that reflects on the first action etc A company CEO tells his secretary: "Next week we're going to a convention abroad and spend some quality...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

reglynn · reglynn

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A doctor in Dublin, feeling overworked wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"."Yes, sir!" answers Murph...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A bloke was sent to prison and on the first day said to his cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied, "Well the judge did give you 6 years." "Yeah I know, but I think the wife will break me out, she's never let me finish a f***g sentence before." Aussie Paul.

HOOK · HOOK

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. I think its raining, says the man. No its snowing, says the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? Hes always right Exclaims the man. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? Definitely ra...

Loffty · Loffty

D'oh :)

D and D · D and D

http://youtu.be/4QWittRwnY8

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Merry Christmas! With Christmas close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with famil...

reglynn · reglynn

While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for about...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...

Cadpete · Cadpete

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"

reglynn · reglynn

ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother went mad, Telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Gran. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show...

Quincey · Quincey

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...

Stl · Stl

I woke up with tubes up my nose in my arms, sore all over doctors and nurses everywhere and thought crikey I'm in a bad way. Wife with tears in her eyes lent over and said that from now on I wouldn't be able to feel anything below the waist, I thought about this for a second then asked her could I at least feel he...

D and D · D and D

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A young farm couple, Ben from Red Oak, Texas and his first wife, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.In the morning, before Ben left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ben came back from the fields, they made love.And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem wa...

reglynn · reglynn

A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I met an older woman at a bar last night..... (Preview) I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...	aussie_paul	0	1142	10:36 PM Jan 4, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Infinite Loop (Preview) *Infinite loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that reflects on the first action etc* A company CEO tells his secretary: "Next week we're going to a convention abroad and spend some quality...	Wombat 280	1	952	07:37 PM Jan 3, 2015 by grahos
	My brain... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	836	07:34 PM Jan 3, 2015 by grahos
	The Secret of Senior Sex (Preview) This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How...	reglynn	1	1524	10:41 PM Jan 2, 2015 by rosa
	The sentiments of us oldies.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	931	02:34 PM Jan 1, 2015 by aussie_paul
	A doctor in Dublin......... (Preview) A doctor in Dublin, feeling overworked wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"."Yes, sir!" answers Murph...	aussie_paul	0	960	06:56 PM Dec 30, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Prison break... (Preview) A bloke was sent to prison and on the first day said to his cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied, "Well the judge did give you 6 years." "Yeah I know, but I think the wife will break me out, she's never let me finish a f***g sentence before." Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1103	09:41 PM Dec 29, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	Raining at Christmas (Preview) A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. I think its raining, says the man. No its snowing, says the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? Hes always right Exclaims the man. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? Definitely ra...	HOOK	2	976	10:20 PM Dec 26, 2014 by sarg
	Need an opinion? (Preview) D'oh :)	Loffty	0	757	09:00 PM Dec 26, 2014 by Loffty
	Christmas for the Kids (Preview) http://youtu.be/4QWittRwnY8	D and D	0	874	10:12 PM Dec 24, 2014 by D and D
	Drinking and driving... (Preview) Merry Christmas! With Christmas close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with famil...	aussie_paul	0	985	11:18 AM Dec 24, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Senior Road Trip (Preview) While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for about...	reglynn	3	1219	03:30 PM Dec 23, 2014 by reglynn
	Politically correct seasonal message.... (Preview) Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...	aussie_paul	0	1246	08:42 PM Dec 21, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Traffic Warden (Preview) As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"	Cadpete	0	696	07:30 PM Dec 21, 2014 by Cadpete
	Roses and Hanging Baskets (Preview) ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother went mad, Telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Gran. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show...	reglynn	0	875	08:08 AM Dec 21, 2014 by reglynn
	My mother taught me (Preview) My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...	Quincey	7	1601	05:07 AM Dec 21, 2014 by Joga
	Positive outlook (Preview) I woke up with tubes up my nose in my arms, sore all over doctors and nurses everywhere and thought crikey I'm in a bad way. Wife with tears in her eyes lent over and said that from now on I wouldn't be able to feel anything below the waist, I thought about this for a second then asked her could I at least feel he...	Stl	0	854	08:29 PM Dec 19, 2014 by Stl
	Historical "Fast Food" (Preview)	D and D	0	955	01:14 AM Dec 19, 2014 by D and D
	Ben Goodwyn and his rifle (Preview) A young farm couple, Ben from Red Oak, Texas and his first wife, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.In the morning, before Ben left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ben came back from the fields, they made love.And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem wa...	Gunsondeck	2	1287	01:56 PM Dec 18, 2014 by sarg
	The Portsmouth Woman (Preview) A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia t...	reglynn	0	897	08:30 AM Dec 18, 2014 by reglynn
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