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Prison break...
(Preview)
A bloke was sent to prison and on the first day said to his cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied, "Well the judge did give you 6 years." "Yeah I know, but I think the wife will break me out, she's never let me finish a f***g sentence before." Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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1094
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Raining at Christmas
(Preview)
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. I think its raining, says the man. No its snowing, says the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? Hes always right Exclaims the man. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? Definitely ra...
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HOOK
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2
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969
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Need an opinion?
(Preview)
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Loffty
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0
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751
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Christmas for the Kids
(Preview)
http://youtu.be/4QWittRwnY8
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D and D
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0
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868
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Drinking and driving...
(Preview)
Merry Christmas! With Christmas close upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with famil...
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aussie_paul
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0
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979
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Senior Road Trip
(Preview)
While on a road trip, an elderly couplestopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the table, and she didn'tmiss them until they had been driving for about...
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reglynn
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3
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1212
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Politically correct seasonal message....
(Preview)
Politically correct seasonal message (its from Great Britain, so a couple of things will seem strange) At this time of the year its difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So Ive checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1237
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Traffic Warden
(Preview)
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The vicar smiles , leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters. "Too late pal, the paperwork's already done"
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Cadpete
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0
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689
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Roses and Hanging Baskets
(Preview)
ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother went mad, Telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Gran. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show...
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reglynn
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0
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868
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My mother taught me
(Preview)
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...
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Quincey
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7
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1594
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Positive outlook
(Preview)
I woke up with tubes up my nose in my arms, sore all over doctors and nurses everywhere and thought crikey I'm in a bad way. Wife with tears in her eyes lent over and said that from now on I wouldn't be able to feel anything below the waist, I thought about this for a second then asked her could I at least feel he...
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Stl
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0
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845
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Historical "Fast Food"
(Preview)
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D and D
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0
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946
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Ben Goodwyn and his rifle
(Preview)
A young farm couple, Ben from Red Oak, Texas and his first wife, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.In the morning, before Ben left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ben came back from the fields, they made love.And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem wa...
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Gunsondeck
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2
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1279
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The Portsmouth Woman
(Preview)
A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia t...
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reglynn
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0
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890
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adam hills gordon st. with mousey
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo5RIjT9onU
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Lesley F
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1
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1064
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THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS
(Preview)
1: I prefer breasts to legs. 2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3: Smother the butter all over the breasts. 4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5: I've never seen a better spread! 6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change. 7: Are you ready for seconds yet? ...
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reglynn
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0
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1048
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When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?
(Preview)
There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...
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reglynn
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0
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864
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How to start a Saturday ....... with a good laugh
(Preview)
Some of us may have seen this before but it always gives me a good chuckle!HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't use...
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Russue
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0
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1202
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Ford vs Microsoft
(Preview)
reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,Ford issued a press release stating: If...
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yeoeleven
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0
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947
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Just thought you'd like to know..
(Preview)
Medical distinction between Guts and Balls.There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls.. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after...
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reglynn
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0
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905
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