Just Joking

Yarra · Yarra

While strolling round the harbour this morning about 7am., I noticed a character shouting "Allah be praised" and "Death to all infidels" and suddenly he tripped and fell into the water. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn...

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

goldfinger · goldfinger

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them around in Canada to hunt moose where they managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said he could only carry four moose. Paddy and Mick, the two hunters, objected strongly, "last year we shot six....tat pilot let us take dem' al...

D and D · D and D

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...

goldfinger · goldfinger

...the prodigal son has returned from gold prospecting...... The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the City's most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even thoug...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00AM for an important early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence <and LOSE>,...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Somewhere in Ireland a teacher asks her class: "Can someone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?" Young Shamus raises his hand and says, "Trudy Glenn Miss." 'No Shamus", says the teacher. "The correct answer is Maid Marion".... "But...but....

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign: Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel.He walks into what appears to be a church. Theres a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is hes looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and wa...

Magnarc · Magnarc

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait! -----------------------------------...

Yarra · Yarra

The new manager walked all around the factory, inspecting his workers, when he came to a room where he saw someone slacking off, leaning against the wall. The manager hid behind a few pipes and watched the employee for 5 minutes. The person didn't move a muscle, so the manager approached him and ordere...

Yarra · Yarra

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain,"."Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back...""...

Yarra · Yarra

"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger."It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. D...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bob an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye."What happened to you?" asked his wife."I had a terrible day" replied Bob. "I had to go to an hotel and pick up a man that had died in his sleep. When I arrived there, themanager said they couldn't get him into a body bag...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a fro...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

Subject: Fwd: Court Reporter Sent from Samsung tablet. How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment o...

Yarra · Yarra

A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"One worker stands up and yell...

Yarra · Yarra

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 999 on his mobile, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. &q...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident "The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's terrible!!! So many men dying that way!"Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were...

Redlander · Redlander

How not to,

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My good deed (Preview) While strolling round the harbour this morning about 7am., I noticed a character shouting "Allah be praised" and "Death to all infidels" and suddenly he tripped and fell into the water. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn...	Yarra	4	925	09:38 PM Feb 2, 2016 by goldfinger
	Mechanical Problems (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	0	899	08:27 PM Feb 2, 2016 by kiwijims
	The Irish Moose Hunters.... (Preview) Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them around in Canada to hunt moose where they managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said he could only carry four moose. Paddy and Mick, the two hunters, objected strongly, "last year we shot six....tat pilot let us take dem' al...	goldfinger	0	1005	07:01 PM Feb 2, 2016 by goldfinger
	Beware the Cougar (Preview) I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and d...	D and D	0	882	05:42 PM Feb 1, 2016 by D and D
	Lawyers (Preview) ...the prodigal son has returned from gold prospecting...... The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the City's most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even thoug...	goldfinger	1	900	12:38 PM Feb 1, 2016 by DMaxer
	The Silent Treatment...and a few of Life's facts... (Preview) A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00AM for an important early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence <and LOSE>,...	goldfinger	0	1122	05:28 PM Jan 31, 2016 by goldfinger
	Robin Hood's Girlfriend.... (Preview) Somewhere in Ireland a teacher asks her class: "Can someone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?" Young Shamus raises his hand and says, "Trudy Glenn Miss." 'No Shamus", says the teacher. "The correct answer is Maid Marion".... "But...but....	goldfinger	0	1335	04:47 PM Jan 31, 2016 by goldfinger
	A sailor comes to port, (Preview) A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign: Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel.He walks into what appears to be a church. Theres a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is hes looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and wa...	aussie_paul	0	771	04:13 PM Jan 31, 2016 by aussie_paul
	The Cruise (Preview) DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait! -----------------------------------...	Magnarc	0	719	10:16 AM Jan 31, 2016 by Magnarc
	A new manager was hired... (Preview) The new manager walked all around the factory, inspecting his workers, when he came to a room where he saw someone slacking off, leaning against the wall. The manager hid behind a few pipes and watched the employee for 5 minutes. The person didn't move a muscle, so the manager approached him and ordere...	Yarra	0	748	10:12 AM Jan 31, 2016 by Yarra
	A police officer in a small town (Preview) A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain,"."Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back...""...	Yarra	0	841	10:10 AM Jan 31, 2016 by Yarra
	Late again (Preview) "Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger."It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. D...	Yarra	0	741	10:03 AM Jan 31, 2016 by Yarra
	The Undertaker (Preview) Bob an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye."What happened to you?" asked his wife."I had a terrible day" replied Bob. "I had to go to an hotel and pick up a man that had died in his sleep. When I arrived there, themanager said they couldn't get him into a body bag...	aussie_paul	0	965	08:54 PM Jan 30, 2016 by aussie_paul
	THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPA'S FEEL WARM & FUZZY.. (Preview) A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a fro...	aussie_paul	0	887	05:45 PM Jan 30, 2016 by aussie_paul
	COURT REPORTERS (Preview) Subject: Fwd: Court Reporter Sent from Samsung tablet. How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment o...	Douglas Leigh	2	1132	10:07 PM Jan 29, 2016 by D and D
	A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing (Preview) A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"One worker stands up and yell...	Yarra	1	843	04:37 PM Jan 29, 2016 by Baggie
	This is The Islamic States favourite car (Preview)	Yarra	0	1065	06:01 PM Jan 27, 2016 by Yarra
	GOLFERS (Preview) A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 999 on his mobile, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. &q...	Douglas Leigh	0	815	03:26 PM Jan 27, 2016 by Douglas Leigh
	A Blonde is watching the news with her husband (Preview) A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident "The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's terrible!!! So many men dying that way!"Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were...	aussie_paul	1	917	01:30 PM Jan 27, 2016 by grahos
	Safety Chain Connection How not to (Preview) How not to,	Redlander	3	1066	01:29 PM Jan 27, 2016 by grahos
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