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Do Your Homework
(Preview)
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and te...
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Moorey
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0
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1021
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little johnny again
(Preview)
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious Republican candidate ask...
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Woody2
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0
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955
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Positive. Attitude
(Preview)
Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obvious...
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Woody2
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0
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908
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Perhaps An Oldie...Difference between CRAZY and STUPID...
(Preview)
A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to Mental Hospital. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return home. He jacked up his truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to place the spare tyre on he disturbed his locking nuts which rolled into the adjacent drain. As there was a fixe...
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goldfinger
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0
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838
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Retirement bonus
(Preview)
The Marines found they had too> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.>>> They promised any officer who volunteered> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in> a straight line between any two points in his body.>>> The of...
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Woody2
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0
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955
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How a child's mine works
(Preview)
Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working.... Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centres. In short, everything they could thi...
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Woody2
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0
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767
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oh Dear
(Preview)
One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit." "Ye...
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Yendorane
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0
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936
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Something different from me...a clean story..Father O'Malley
(Preview)
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine Spring day in his new Parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.. He then noticed there was.........a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local Police S...
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goldfinger
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1
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1061
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Modern Nursery Rhymes
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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1
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1173
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This receptionist is no match for an old guy
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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942
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Copper wire.
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American arch...
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Baggie
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0
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898
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Ok who's game
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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2
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1079
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Two blondes
(Preview)
Two blondes are filling up at a petrol station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful fuel prices are going to go even higher." The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth."
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Yendorane
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0
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907
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The tax system explained using a beer analogy:
(Preview)
The tax system explained using a beer analogy:Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this..The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth woul...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1209
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I can see how that would work
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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870
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Airport Bar....
(Preview)
I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 Melbourne International Airport, when this Chinese bloke comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those Martial Arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?" He says, "No,.. why the fluck you ask me that? ...Is it...
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goldfinger
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0
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920
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Un welcome visitor
(Preview)
Tom took his dog to the vet.Doctor, he said sadly, Im afraid Im going to have to ask you to cut off my dogs tail.The vet stepped back:Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?Because my mother-in-laws arriving tomorrow, and I dont want anything to make her think shes welcome.
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Woody n Sue
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0
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20838
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....now I did not know this...why the Olympics are so named..
(Preview)
..From the Olympic website: Did you know this, I didn't........ 2500 years ago a slave call-girl from Sardinia named Gaedophamee ..pronounced 'Get-offa'-me, was attending a great athletic festival in Greece. This Festival had no name at that time... In those days the athletes performed naked....
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goldfinger
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0
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968
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Men are uncomplicated creatures, and by nature happier.....tongue slightly in cheek..
(Preview)
,Men are uncomplicated creatures, and by nature happier...... Our last name stays put... The garage is all ours.... Car mechanics tell us the truth... Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.... The same hairstyle lasts for years....even d...
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goldfinger
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0
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1022
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One employee has to go
(Preview)
A manager is in a pickle.He was told he must lay off one person from his staff.Jack Butler and Helen Doyle are the lowest seniority people and have the least experience, but they are so equal in performance, attendance, and potential, that he cant choose.So he decides to watch them both, and the first o...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1016
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