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Duck soup
(Preview)
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...
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Magnarc
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0
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858
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Why we shouldn't lie – a great story
(Preview)
We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the ho...
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Peter1059
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0
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833
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Whats For Breakface
(Preview)
The Teacher: asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today jimmy." Jimmy replied crying. " Because I heard my Daddy tell my Mommy." . . . . . . 'I am going to eat that P...ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.'
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Hey Jim
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2
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743
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Life in the Australian Army
(Preview)
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad,I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell t...
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Yarra
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3
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1000
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Dog Carer...
(Preview)
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...
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Weevil
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0
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662
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Why I Call Him Honey....
(Preview)
Why I Call Him Honey........... An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as:Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almo...
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Weevil
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0
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822
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How to use a thermos or perhaps not
(Preview)
An airhead walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermosand asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. Itkeeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The airhead was soimpressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait toshow off her new thermos to her co-wor...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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653
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why did the chicken cross the road!!
(Preview)
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Lesley F
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0
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728
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The Four Cats
(Preview)
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over t...
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Yarra
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0
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622
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Beach Conversation
(Preview)
A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers.She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with hi...
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Yarra
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0
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644
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Ray The Chook....
(Preview)
Ray the Chook... Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.' Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back...
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Weevil
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2
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867
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Grandad
(Preview)
ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW.... A Cup of Tea made with cold water. One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys. Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening new...
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Yarra
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0
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730
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Claude the Hypnotist!
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you and all at the...
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Yarra
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0
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747
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Dial Up : Please not for the ladies Thankyou.
(Preview)
Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on the scales it read. " I need your weight." "Not your phone Number".
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Hey Jim
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0
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742
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Almost made a spectacle of herself.....
(Preview)
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees a most attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he suddenly snatches it from the air, in a half pike motion, and hands it back to her. "This is soooo embarra...
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Goldfinger
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1
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862
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GOLDFINGERS FIND
(Preview)
Whats bigger then Gommers pile. Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whats Bigger then Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GiLLANS ISLAND. Whats bigger then Gillans Island. Goldfingers 21 GRANDER.
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Hey Jim
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2
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730
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It's hell to get old.
(Preview)
Two medical students were walking along the streetWhen they saw an old man walking with his legs spreadApart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor oldMan has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student sa...
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Yarra
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1
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986
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Wecome to the Forum
(Preview)
Wecome to the Forum, Micheal Fiztpatrick & Patrick FiztMicheal. Ben Down & Phil McCaverty Enjoy yourselfves.
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Hey Jim
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1
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658
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Places you may have visited...
(Preview)
An oldie but worth re-telling..... We have been in many places but we've never been in Kahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone else. We've also never been in Cognito.......we hear no-one recognizes you there. We have however been in Sane. They don't have an ai...
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Goldfinger
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1
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805
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B17 bomber crew
(Preview)
During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The story goes that during the last days of the North Afri...
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Possum3
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1
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833
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