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Laws not taught in physics class
(Preview)
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being wat...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1069
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JOKES - ENJOY!
(Preview)
Advertisement In Shop: Guitar, for sale...Cheap...no strings attached. On a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking.... I Gave Up Reading My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
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aussie_paul
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0
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930
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Sad horse
(Preview)
A horse walks up to the bar and the barman asks "Why the long face?"
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gumpybsc
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0
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943
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The Spiritualists Society
(Preview)
The old grey nomad caravanned into the town and decided to stop there for the evening as it was getting late and he needed to rest. He parked his rig in a quiet shady spot and went for a short stroll to stretch his legs. Shortly he came upon the town's local hall, where there must have been some sort of meetin...
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gumpybsc
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1
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982
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GETTING OLDER -- EVERY DAY
(Preview)
My goal for this year was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go. Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Gri...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1141
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Paint the church
(Preview)
An old grey nomad caravans into town and needs to make a few bucks as he's sailing fairly close to the wind and needs to stock up on fuel and groceries. He gets word from a couple of friendly locals he meets in the pub that the local parish priest is looking for a volunteer to paint his church. The next mornin...
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gumpybsc
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1
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986
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Best Septic Tank Cleaner
(Preview)
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Plain Truth
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0
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946
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Stop or slow down what's the difference
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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5
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1095
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Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a
(Preview)
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would l...
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Yarra
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0
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880
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You just have to appreciate this one.
(Preview)
Wal-Mart Senior Greeter Young people forget that we old people had a career before we retired..... Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded an...
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aussie_paul
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0
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801
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After having been told my danglies....
(Preview)
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UKAFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. I ACTUALLY HAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHILE READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY!!!:After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy...
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aussie_paul
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4
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1512
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Gifted
(Preview)
A Grey Nomad explains how he is different to his fellow travellers in that, somewhat embarrassingly, he was born with five 'appendages'. He knows he is different to everyone else but has managed to get through life without many problems at all. In fact, the best thing is he explains is that his pants fi...
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gumpybsc
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0
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932
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Harvey Norman
(Preview)
Jim was listening to the radio this morning when thehost invited callers to reveal the nicknames they had for their wives. The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife, "Harvey Norman". The host asked him why that name? He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."
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Woody2
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1
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1065
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Ah Monica Lewinsky..
(Preview)
After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked in a mirror - remembering her time with Bill Clinton.Her frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing her.In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help: "God, if you take away my love handles, I'll devo...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1015
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Going down stream...
(Preview)
At a seniors luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and...
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aussie_paul
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0
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825
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No offense intended..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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893
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Nag Nag
(Preview)
NAG NAG NAG An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at ho...
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Woody2
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1
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870
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....they say your partner usually resembles YOUR parents...
(Preview)
Thomas is 32 years old and he remains single. One day a friend asked: "Why aren't you married Thomas?...can't you find a lady who will be a good wife?"... Thomas replied: "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, however when I bring them home to meet the folks, my mother invariably doesn't l...
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goldfinger
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0
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1315
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Why we can't take Grandpa to the Mardi Gras any more...not real, but may be tad offensive....
(Preview)
Grandpa is now left at home, on Mardi Gras night.....if only we were game to enjoy ourselves this much...........Hoo Roo
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goldfinger
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2
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1118
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New exercise routine
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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862
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