Just Joking

goldfinger · goldfinger

There may be a pun or three here.......my brother has been the only one in our family, to sustain his effort..he is a Police Reporter..Once a week he has to report to the Police..although my sister did have a job as a Public Relations Officer in a tampon factory....she used to put a 'get well' card in ever...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

At last, confirmation of 'Murphy's Law' with a wonderful Irish explanationMurphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.He looks down in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of the universe thatbuttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to th...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Myra Rhodes, an elderly lady, answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning, Maam, said the young man. If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum clean...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'Ahamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later thewaitress returns with t...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

erad · erad

You should never try to hold a fart in. If you do, the fart bubbles go up your spine to the brain, and that is where you get all your crappy ideas from.

goldfinger · goldfinger

A nice, calm and most respectable lady went into the local pharmacy, walked straight up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide please".... The pharmacist was incredulous.."Why on earth do you need cyanide?" The lady replied: "I need to poison my...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Its the World Cup Final and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. No, says the neighbour. The seat is empty. This is incredible, said the man. Who in t...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Greeny

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watching?' Billy say...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. 2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage. 3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through. 4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do. 5. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinet...

goldfinger · goldfinger

I cleaned this one up just for the Forum.....I can be couth! The Italian fellow said: "Lasta night I massaged my beautiful wife all over her body with the finest olive oils....then we made mad passionate love and I made her scream non-stop for five minutes..... The Frenchman said: "Ahhhh oui....I h...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Bruce was in the pub having a beer with his mates. He was telling them: "My wife walked into our study last night and asked me what I was doing on the computer. I explained to her that I was looking for cheap flights.... Well she became quite 'lover-dovey' very quickly....and she said "I love you Bruce and...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder! So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A guy goes to his doctor and tells him hes having trouble doing the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: Now Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, youre just lazy. OK, said th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Finally found the job I'm perfectly suited..... (Preview) There may be a pun or three here.......my brother has been the only one in our family, to sustain his effort..he is a Police Reporter..Once a week he has to report to the Police..although my sister did have a job as a Public Relations Officer in a tampon factory....she used to put a 'get well' card in ever...	goldfinger	0	1458	03:25 PM Apr 28, 2016 by goldfinger
	At last, confirmation of 'Murphy's Law' with a wonderful Irish explanation... (Preview) At last, confirmation of 'Murphy's Law' with a wonderful Irish explanationMurphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.He looks down in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of the universe thatbuttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to th...	aussie_paul	0	1178	03:17 PM Apr 27, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Ok Blonde again (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	977	08:43 PM Apr 26, 2016 by grahos
	ENJOY! an oldie... (Preview) Myra Rhodes, an elderly lady, answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning, Maam, said the young man. If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum clean...	aussie_paul	1	977	08:42 PM Apr 26, 2016 by grahos
	Cheap Bucher Shop (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	975	08:33 PM Apr 26, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	lol.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	930	07:37 AM Apr 26, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Emu (Preview) Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'Ahamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later thewaitress returns with t...	aussie_paul	0	1179	09:03 PM Apr 25, 2016 by aussie_paul
	An English girl (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	1319	01:08 PM Apr 24, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Drug cheats at Paralympics (Preview) Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.	Aus-Kiwi	4	1287	11:59 AM Apr 22, 2016 by Aus-Kiwi
	Farts (Preview) You should never try to hold a fart in. If you do, the fart bubbles go up your spine to the brain, and that is where you get all your crappy ideas from.	erad	0	1086	08:53 PM Apr 21, 2016 by erad
	Cyanide.... (Preview) A nice, calm and most respectable lady went into the local pharmacy, walked straight up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide please".... The pharmacist was incredulous.."Why on earth do you need cyanide?" The lady replied: "I need to poison my...	goldfinger	0	1189	09:15 AM Apr 21, 2016 by goldfinger
	Chinese sick leave... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1171	09:55 PM Apr 20, 2016 by aussie_paul
	It’s the World Cup Final (Preview) Its the World Cup Final and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. No, says the neighbour. The seat is empty. This is incredible, said the man. Who in t...	aussie_paul	0	1134	05:23 PM Apr 20, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Greeny..........Printed F word used.... (Preview) Greeny	goldfinger	0	923	04:48 PM Apr 20, 2016 by goldfinger
	Little Billy (Preview) Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watching?' Billy say...	Aus-Kiwi	1	937	04:33 PM Apr 20, 2016 by Baggie
	CLEVER WORDS FOR CLEVER PEOPLE (It’s a bit American) (Preview) 1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. 2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage. 3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through. 4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do. 5. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinet...	aussie_paul	2	1051	07:44 PM Apr 19, 2016 by Baggie
	Body Massage.... (Preview) I cleaned this one up just for the Forum.....I can be couth! The Italian fellow said: "Lasta night I massaged my beautiful wife all over her body with the finest olive oils....then we made mad passionate love and I made her scream non-stop for five minutes..... The Frenchman said: "Ahhhh oui....I h...	goldfinger	0	1202	06:16 PM Apr 19, 2016 by goldfinger
	Cheap Flights..... (Preview) Bruce was in the pub having a beer with his mates. He was telling them: "My wife walked into our study last night and asked me what I was doing on the computer. I explained to her that I was looking for cheap flights.... Well she became quite 'lover-dovey' very quickly....and she said "I love you Bruce and...	goldfinger	0	956	11:55 AM Apr 19, 2016 by goldfinger
	Old Lady Is Pulled Over For Going Too Slowly... (Preview) Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder! So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five...	aussie_paul	0	1080	02:10 PM Apr 18, 2016 by aussie_paul
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A guy goes to his doctor and tells him hes having trouble doing the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: Now Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, youre just lazy. OK, said th...	aussie_paul	1	910	01:06 PM Apr 18, 2016 by dorian
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