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Post Turtles
(Preview)
POST TURTLES While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders. The old farmer said, "Well, a...
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Hurls
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2
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1078
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Disco
(Preview)
Husband takes his wife to a disco.. There's a guy on the dance floor really going crazy - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the whole works.. The wife turns to her husband and says: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!!!" Husband says: "Look...
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Dodge
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0
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612
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50 shades of grey
(Preview)
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope;...
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Dodge
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0
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783
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Grammar Nazi's
(Preview)
But I like it .. -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Wednesday 20th of May 2015 09:45:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Wednesday 20th of May 2015 09:46:50 PM
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Aus-Kiwi
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2
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724
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A Harley Biker
(Preview)
A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the no...
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aussie_paul
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1
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877
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New Doctor
(Preview)
Old Harry was referred to a gastrointestinal specialist by his GP. As soon as Harry went into the Dr's office the Dr said to him, not to be concerned but many of his patients at Harry's age had troubles passing water in the morning. That's not the problem said Harry - "I empty my bladder complete...
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Possum3
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1
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784
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Changing Values
(Preview)
Amazing how your values change As you age... An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship Holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress Is blow...
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Hendo
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1
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881
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By the will of God
(Preview)
When I heard Fred Niles and Chris Riley were guest preachers nearby Bourke church, I decided to check them out in person and see what it was all about. I sat down and Fred Niles came up to me, I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church. He laid his hands on my...
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Possum3
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3
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969
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I Play Bowls
(Preview)
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tiradelisting every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, lon...
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Yarra
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0
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851
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The Wedding : Italian style
(Preview)
Maria & Mario were to marry in the coming spring. The custom. Everyone is invited. Uncles, Aunts, Nices & Nephews, cousins, second cousins friends 1000 plus. Maria's parents were the hosts. All the food, all the drink to be orginised nothing left to chance. Italian style eh!...............
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Hey Jim
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0
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755
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DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR
(Preview)
There once lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked Beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat odourous reaction on him. However, one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he through to himself "she's such a sweet, gen...
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Hey Jim
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2
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848
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Need a Push
(Preview)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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979
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THE PASSING OF GABRIEL
(Preview)
Peal take's Gabriel to the Vet. The vet nurse greats Peal at the desk. looking very upset she ask's Peal what's up. Its Gabriel, she looks off. Bring Gabriel straight through, the vet will see Gabriel right away. Hullo Peal, What's Up. Its Gabriel, she off. The vet takes a look. The vet replies your not w...
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Hey Jim
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1
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786
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Just promise me one thing
(Preview)
When old Charlie aged 84 saw the love of his life just 24 years young. He asked her to marry him. And she could have anything she ever wanted, with only one condition. When I die you must bury me with all my money. That's a good deal she said ,I live the life style never imagable. So they liveded happlly ever a...
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Hey Jim
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1
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933
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Whispering Jack
(Preview)
Young Jack was coming of age. So his mother took young Jack to the Catholic Church on Sunday, for the very first time. The Priest was giving the usual sermin and he rambled on and on. Young Jack sits up and without notice says to his mum, "I gotta WEE, Yes I need to take a leak right now." So...
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Hey Jim
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1
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906
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Clancy@theoverflow
(Preview)
I think that this has been round for a while .. But here it is again just in case you missed it last time it circulated ... enjoy Clancy@theoverflow I had written him a text Which I'd sent, hoping the next Time he came in mobile coverage He'd have time to say hello. But I'd heard he'd lost his iPhone...
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Cupie
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3
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1130
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Priorities.....
(Preview)
At dawn the telephone rings and wakes the vacationing English Lord Gillingham. The caller-ID identifies the source of the call as his loyal butler, Callen. "I'm frightfully sorry to bother you M'Lard but there is a problem. Your prize parrot is now deceased". "The one that won the...
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Goldfinger
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0
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735
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???...
(closed)
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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6
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1517
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A FABLE FOR SECRETARYS
(Preview)
When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be Boss. The Brain said. " Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be Boss. The Feet said, "since I carry man where he wants to go, and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I should be Boss". The hand said, &quo...
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Hey Jim
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0
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735
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The New Sandals....
(Preview)
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the market-place looking at the vast array of goods on offer, and they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a strong Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners, do come in please"? "Com...
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Goldfinger
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0
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643
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