Just Joking

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

ok I'm too lazy to re type this one tonight -- Edited by Woody n Sue on Monday 18th of January 2016 10:50:30 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. ...Paddy guessed 8, an...

erad · erad

The definition of a true gentleman - one who can play the bagpipes, but elects not to.

erad · erad

A small country church in Northern England. A well-to-do locality. After the sermon, the plate was passed around. When the plate was returned to the vicar, he looked and there were 5 and 10 pound notes these, even a couple of 20 pound notes - and three pennies. The Vicar couldn't contain himself. &quo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

kiwijims · kiwijims

Scottish Short Joke!!A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me, Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?" To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"K.J.

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

The Agony of Agingâ¦.On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock bacK ..

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Forgot Her Birthday... It was breakfast time at the Smiths' house. Linda turned to her husband Frank with an irritated look and said: "I bet you don't remember what today is!" "Of course I remember!" declared Frank, and hastily left for work. When he reached his office, he i...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed. After the shrieking and hyste...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German Ich Liebe Dich Japanese Ai ****e Imasu Italian Ti Amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Dig Lithuanian As Tave Meliu Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia...

Yarra · Yarra

4 Jewish ladies meet after 30 years at their High School Reunion. One goes to take food while theother 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and isso rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started hi...

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

Magnarc · Magnarc

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back,...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOVIE LIST FIRST....JUST DO THE MATH....THEN LOOK The Movie Test This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math! Try this test and find out wha...

Baggie · Baggie

These two guys loved to have a round of golf together whenever they could fit it in their normal working schedules. Well, this particular day they were well into their game when there were two ladies up in front holding a conversation on the next hole & the guys waited & waited for them to have th...

Moorey · Moorey

An elderly gentleman walked into his doctors office and told the doctor he needed some Viagra. The doctor said at your age, to which he replied I've gotta give it a go Doc. The doctor advised him he would give him a script for one issue of four tablets and to come back in a month for a checkup. The elderly gen...

Brenda and Alan · Brenda and Alan

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in an...

Yarra · Yarra

Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.Sixty is the WORST age to be, said the sixty-year-old man. You always feel like you have to pee. But most of the time, nothing happens!Ah, thats nothing, said the seventy-year-old man. When youre seventy, you dont have bowel movements anymore. You...

D and D · D and D

Interesting perspective - can anyone come up with a tune for them all:

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another Blonde joke (Preview) ok I'm too lazy to re type this one tonight -- Edited by Woody n Sue on Monday 18th of January 2016 10:50:30 PM	Woody n Sue	3	882	06:43 PM Jan 19, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	A petrol station owner in Ireland.. (Preview) A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. ...Paddy guessed 8, an...	aussie_paul	1	856	06:39 PM Jan 19, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Yet another Scottich joke... (Preview) The definition of a true gentleman - one who can play the bagpipes, but elects not to.	erad	0	810	07:59 PM Jan 18, 2016 by erad
	Another Scottish Joke (Preview) A small country church in Northern England. A well-to-do locality. After the sermon, the plate was passed around. When the plate was returned to the vicar, he looked and there were 5 and 10 pound notes these, even a couple of 20 pound notes - and three pennies. The Vicar couldn't contain himself. &quo...	erad	0	918	07:57 PM Jan 18, 2016 by erad
	How to avoid a fine.. (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	747	06:51 PM Jan 18, 2016 by aussie_paul
	A Scottish Joke (Preview) **Scottish Short Joke!!A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me, Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?" To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"K.J.**	kiwijims	1	860	03:23 PM Jan 18, 2016 by 03_Troopy
	How's ya hearing ? (Preview) The Agony of Agingâ¦.On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock bacK ..	Aus-Kiwi	1	874	02:57 PM Jan 18, 2016 by Baggie
	Forgot Her Birthday... (Preview) Forgot Her Birthday... It was breakfast time at the Smiths' house. Linda turned to her husband Frank with an irritated look and said: "I bet you don't remember what today is!" "Of course I remember!" declared Frank, and hastily left for work. When he reached his office, he i...	aussie_paul	0	874	02:11 PM Jan 18, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems (Preview) Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed. After the shrieking and hyste...	Douglas Leigh	1	853	02:43 PM Jan 17, 2016 by 03_Troopy
	How to say i love you in the following (Preview) English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German Ich Liebe Dich Japanese Ai e Imasu Italian Ti Amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Dig Lithuanian As Tave Meliu Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia...	Douglas Leigh	0	741	01:04 PM Jan 17, 2016 by Douglas Leigh
	Jewish ladies (Preview) 4 Jewish ladies meet after 30 years at their High School Reunion. One goes to take food while theother 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and isso rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started hi...	Yarra	1	882	06:31 PM Jan 16, 2016 by Felicia
	A Bright Student (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	1	1116	06:28 PM Jan 16, 2016 by Felicia
	Beyond it ???? (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	1	952	04:33 PM Jan 16, 2016 by aussie_paul
	The dangers of flying (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back,...	Magnarc	0	813	02:31 PM Jan 16, 2016 by Magnarc
	Favourite movie test (Preview) DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOVIE LIST FIRST....JUST DO THE MATH....THEN LOOK The Movie Test This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math! Try this test and find out wha...	Douglas Leigh	4	935	08:41 PM Jan 15, 2016 by dorian
	Two golfers (Preview) These two guys loved to have a round of golf together whenever they could fit it in their normal working schedules. Well, this particular day they were well into their game when there were two ladies up in front holding a conversation on the next hole & the guys waited & waited for them to have th...	Baggie	0	1047	04:56 PM Jan 15, 2016 by Baggie
	Viagra (just a little naughty) (Preview) An elderly gentleman walked into his doctors office and told the doctor he needed some Viagra. The doctor said at your age, to which he replied I've gotta give it a go Doc. The doctor advised him he would give him a script for one issue of four tablets and to come back in a month for a checkup. The elderly gen...	Moorey	3	1211	03:38 PM Jan 15, 2016 by 03_Troopy
	The Pastor's Donkey (Preview) The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in an...	Brenda and Alan	2	1135	02:58 PM Jan 15, 2016 by Bushpie
	Three golfers (Preview) Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.Sixty is the WORST age to be, said the sixty-year-old man. You always feel like you have to pee. But most of the time, nothing happens!Ah, thats nothing, said the seventy-year-old man. When youre seventy, you dont have bowel movements anymore. You...	Yarra	0	777	08:04 AM Jan 15, 2016 by Yarra
	Age catches up with us all (Preview) Interesting perspective - can anyone come up with a tune for them all:	D and D	4	986	06:14 PM Jan 14, 2016 by Felicia
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