|
Jokes-enjoy
(Preview)
At a ****tail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day s...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1176
|
|
|
|
|
hope these dont offend the soft co,,,
(Preview)
SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.... 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewi...
|
SLUG
|
5
|
1436
|
|
|
|
|
Aussie Bob
(Preview)
Bob, a middle-aged Australian tourist on his first time in America, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whisp...
|
Yarra
|
0
|
1159
|
|
|
|
|
The Rectum Stretcher...
(Preview)
A woman in Ireland driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar gun lying in wait.The policeman pulled her over, walked up to the car, with a patronising smirk and asked, "What's your hurry?"She replied, "I'm late for work.""Oh...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1229
|
|
|
|
|
Adjust to your place of the world.
(Preview)
After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about? In fact, I do, said the old man. After I make love to my wife, the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after we make love the second time, I am usually c...
|
Young Simmo
|
2
|
907
|
|
|
|
|
An old guy :)
(Preview)
An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in. He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby." Aussie Paul...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
946
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry ... I can hear the groans from here :)
(Preview)
Gday... 1. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barberqueue 2. Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks! 3. What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? A stick 4. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nos...
|
rockylizard
|
1
|
1015
|
|
|
|
|
Taxi
(Preview)
With the Xmas holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you all about drinking and driving after a "social event" with friends.This past Friday, I was out on a pre xmas evening with several friends. I had a few beers, followed by several glasses of wine. Despite my jol...
|
Magnarc
|
2
|
907
|
|
|
|
|
"A bloody good idea !! yeah yeah "
(Preview)
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19....
|
Yarra
|
1
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
A tardy Santa??
(Preview)
Gday... SEE ! ! ! ! ..... I put it in Just Joking  AND ...... let's just smile at it (coz I did) and move on ..... I did NOT put it up to start a "let's bash a JEEP" exchange so let's all keep our knickers un-twisted. ... and I hope Santa isn't really gonna be late - so Merry Christmas etc etc...
|
rockylizard
|
4
|
924
|
|
|
|
|
Tim Minchin - take my wife - WARNING - there's no swearing.
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFO6ZhUW38w I love this - it's pure genius - even though it flies in the face of most things I believe lol lol. My daughter was born with natural orange hair - her favourite Minchin song is - Prejudice. Words: Only a ginger can call another ginger.........ginger...
|
Lesley F
|
1
|
1438
|
|
|
|
|
positive attitude
(Preview)
Late in the night, the man finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was in a life-threatening situ...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
853
|
|
|
|
|
Tim Minchin - anti child rape song for the Pope
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTIorwtJbhE
|
Lesley F
|
10
|
1202
|
|
|
|
|
Reaching out!
(Preview)
|
kiwijims
|
2
|
898
|
|
|
|
|
God!
(Preview)
God: done? Noah: yeah! G: whats this? Noah proudly: a swing set. G: you built a park. I asked for an ark. N: a what? G: a boat. N: say boat then. GOD: How many more animals left to make? - ANGEL: 2 - GOD: And how many more legs do we have? - ANGEL: 100 - CENTIPEDE: dibs! - SNAKE: ******* "drink m...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
741
|
|
|
|
|
Picking on the Irish again!!!
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick "I found this pen. Is it yours?" Mick replies "Don't know, give it here." He then tries it and says, "Yes it is" Paddy asks "How do you know?" Mick replies, "That's my handwriting."Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
860
|
|
|
|
|
Does happen!!
(Preview)
|
gerard gue
|
1
|
887
|
|
|
|
|
Playmor 5th wheeler scam
(Preview)
Thank you for the interest showed in my caravan and sorry for my late reply but I had to move to the U.K. for my job, I was busy relocating on a short notice. You don't have to worry as the caravan is in storage with a shipping company back home in Australia. It was left to me in my father's will 2 months ago and...
|
unsatisfied and over-it
|
1
|
1364
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT STARTS IN F AND ENDS IN C
(Preview)
What Starts with F and ends with K A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry, whats your problem? Harry answered, Im too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and Im smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade...
|
SLUG
|
0
|
827
|
|
|
|
|
Old is Good???????
(Preview)
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew. I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store. The peo...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1051
|
|
|
