Just Joking

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Home Security for Seniors Now that I'm on a fixed income, I've disconnected my home alarm system, turned off my external lights and de-registered from Neighbourhood Watch. I've got two Iraqi flags raised in the front garden, one at each corner, And the black flag of ISIS in the centre. Local police...

Spydermann · Spydermann

Old codger #1. How`s your new Thai bride you found on the internet? Old codger #2. OK, but she keeps leaving the toilet seat up.

Hendo · Hendo

Father walking past his young son's bedroom overhears him saying his prayers. "God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless grandma, bye-bye grandpa" He thinks that's a bit strange but thinks nothing more until the next day when his wife rings him at work and tells him the grandpa had just...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The man said to the dentist. "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to go numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 am tee off time at the be...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France." "Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?" "Because that's what...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

See, I was correct. Your mind had to read this. PLEASE STAY LARRY. Jim

June · June

A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'low battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal! A Government Survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own do...

nimrod · nimrod

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.""Si, Luis, eet su...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I believe this was eventually rejected as one of the design contenders for their new flag.... Its why we form the greatest/tight/packed Rugby scrums in the World...we enjoy it so much.....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:23:48 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?" Paddy replies "No tanks, oi've only got a small yard." Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick "What if one explodes before...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Your test for today.........I'm about to go gold detecting/prospecting again....so calm will no doubt return.....Hoo Roo

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

How long should one live??? Answer: Live long enough to be a real concern to your family......Hoo Roo

Yarra · Yarra

Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.'Thirty euros,' she whispers.Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only thirty euros. So they hid in the bushes.They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is...

dishlicker · dishlicker

Woman are like phones They like to be held firmly Talked to softly And touched often But push the wrong button and your ars is disconnected. - - - Have you herd about the new zoo thats been built it has only one animal in it a Dog its a Shih tzu

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Gold Gollan.....lmao...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

...my implants should last foreverrrrr.....they may even outlast me......

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I can do that........NOT!!.........apparently she was warned no strenuous exercise should be undertaken, after the fourteenth month of pregnancy......lamo...Hoo Roo . -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:55:07 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Plenty of jokes this morning. Must have been a bad TV night!!!!! Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Saturday 17th of October 2015 09:18:23 PM

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Should have checked the tide times....

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver wont stop staring at her.She asks him why he is staring.He replies: I have a question to ask you, but I dont want to offend you.She answers, My son, you cannot offend me. When youre as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chanc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The easy way out. (Preview) Home Security for Seniors Now that I'm on a fixed income, I've disconnected my home alarm system, turned off my external lights and de-registered from Neighbourhood Watch. I've got two Iraqi flags raised in the front garden, one at each corner, And the black flag of ISIS in the centre. Local police...	Young Simmo	0	950	02:55 PM Oct 23, 2015 by Young Simmo
	The Thai Bride (Preview) Old codger #1. How`s your new Thai bride you found on the internet? Old codger #2. OK, but she keeps leaving the toilet seat up.	Spydermann	0	996	11:38 PM Oct 22, 2015 by Spydermann
	God Bless (Preview) Father walking past his young son's bedroom overhears him saying his prayers. "God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless grandma, bye-bye grandpa" He thinks that's a bit strange but thinks nothing more until the next day when his wife rings him at work and tells him the grandpa had just...	Hendo	0	937	03:54 PM Oct 20, 2015 by Hendo
	Golfers.... (Preview) The man said to the dentist. "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to go numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 am tee off time at the be...	aussie_paul	1	967	02:51 PM Oct 20, 2015 by Young Simmo
	For the teachers... (Preview) Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France." "Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?" "Because that's what...	aussie_paul	0	914	11:21 AM Oct 20, 2015 by aussie_paul
	I know how your mind works LARRY (Preview) See, I was correct. Your mind had to read this. PLEASE STAY LARRY. Jim	Hey Jim	1	1018	10:50 PM Oct 19, 2015 by ballast2
	Low Battery (Preview) A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'low battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal! A Government Survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own do...	June	0	954	07:46 PM Oct 19, 2015 by June
	The bacon Tree (Preview) Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.""Si, Luis, eet su...	nimrod	1	1079	05:38 PM Oct 19, 2015 by Blues Man
	....soooooo... who said we don't enjoy an excellent/close relationship......? (Preview) I believe this was eventually rejected as one of the design contenders for their new flag.... Its why we form the greatest/tight/packed Rugby scrums in the World...we enjoy it so much.....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:23:48 PM	Goldfinger	1	1395	11:29 AM Oct 19, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Apologies to you Irish people.... (Preview) Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?" Paddy replies "No tanks, oi've only got a small yard." Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick "What if one explodes before...	aussie_paul	0	900	11:01 AM Oct 19, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Your test for today...... (Preview) Your test for today.........I'm about to go gold detecting/prospecting again....so calm will no doubt return.....Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	3	986	04:42 AM Oct 19, 2015 by Goldfinger
	How long should one live??? (Preview) How long should one live??? Answer: Live long enough to be a real concern to your family......Hoo Roo	Goldfinger	5	1257	08:41 PM Oct 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Murphy (Preview) Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.'Thirty euros,' she whispers.Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only thirty euros. So they hid in the bushes.They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is...	Yarra	0	898	04:05 PM Oct 18, 2015 by Yarra
	phones (Preview) Woman are like phones They like to be held firmly Talked to softly And touched often But push the wrong button and your ars is disconnected. - - - Have you herd about the new zoo thats been built it has only one animal in it a Dog its a Shih tzu	dishlicker	1	978	10:04 AM Oct 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The face you make when you hear a gold signal on your detector... (Preview) Gold Gollan.....lmao...	Goldfinger	2	866	10:01 AM Oct 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	....and they may even outlast me...... (Preview) ...my implants should last foreverrrrr.....they may even outlast me......	Goldfinger	2	782	09:46 AM Oct 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	I can do that..........NOT!! (Preview) I can do that........NOT!!.........apparently she was warned no strenuous exercise should be undertaken, after the fourteenth month of pregnancy......lamo...Hoo Roo . -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:55:07 PM	Goldfinger	2	860	09:20 AM Oct 18, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Wow!!! (Preview) Plenty of jokes this morning. Must have been a bad TV night!!!!! Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Saturday 17th of October 2015 09:18:23 PM	aussie_paul	1	930	04:44 PM Oct 17, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Should have checked the tide times...... (Preview) Should have checked the tide times....	Goldfinger	3	853	12:30 PM Oct 17, 2015 by Young Simmo
	A cabbie picks up a nun. (Preview) A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver wont stop staring at her.She asks him why he is staring.He replies: I have a question to ask you, but I dont want to offend you.She answers, My son, you cannot offend me. When youre as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chanc...	aussie_paul	0	950	11:46 AM Oct 17, 2015 by aussie_paul
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